selfhelp: ([wiccan] derpfaaaaec)
William "Billy" Kaplan (Wiccan) ([personal profile] selfhelp) wrote2019-07-30 03:29 am
Entry tags:

[IC] Appointments Post



Feel free to use this post for random threads, backtagging or forwardtagging, whatever.

It can be Written, Action, Voice, or just a quick call on the journal system for whatever reason.

When you tag, please put a [Style, Date] in the subject line to start it out, eg.:

[Action, January 1st]

Thanks!
halfnhalf: ([teddy] and you don't need me)

[Action, October 15th]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-10-19 06:24 am (UTC)(link)
[Hold the shift, hold the shift and you'll be fine, just hold it -

He tilts his head, just enough to get his mouth free, as there's something just slightly comforting about Billy holding him like that even if there's just a piece of him that's there. Teddy feels guilt of his own, for reacting like that, for making Billy near tears himself when he's cried so much already...

Just hold the shift and you'll be fine.]


Billy? [His voice is still choked and watery, shaky.

A shift and it's fine.]


Just... please, don't do that to yourself. You have people who want to help you... You have me.

[He lifts a hand, slowly, to rest it against Billy's heart, feeling the rhythm there and his own heart automatically pacing itself to match it.]

I'll bully this thing out of you if I have to. Don't think you're alone... please, don't... [Don't do it, please stay, please believe me, I love you, I don't know what I'd do without you - ]
halfnhalf: ([&billy] come here bb)

[Action, October 15th]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-10-20 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
[When Billy leans in, Teddy doesn't hesitate this time. He wraps both arms around Billy and pulls him against his chest, chin on top of his head, careful with his shoulder. He strokes his hair and shuts his eyes, feeling the remnants of tears behind them and not bothering to shift them away. They're not big enough to fall through his mask.

Watch him push you away. You're not good enough. You weren't ever good enough.

Shut up, shut up.

He doesn't care if he's not the one, if only for an instant. Billy needs this, Billy leaned toward him, sought him out... That's enough.]


I want you to fight. Fight as hard as you can, because this will be tough. No taking the easy way out. Just think about...

[Who you want to be, who you were before this thing took you over, think about what it'd feel like if -

No magic. No easy way out.]


Think about what I said. You have me... I've got you. So let's do this together... okay? We'll solve this.
halfnhalf: ([teddy] my mom's not a - nevermind)

[Action, October 15th]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-10-20 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
[Teddy knows. Even gets the reference, since they seem to be stuck on that scene.

He understands Simon a lot better now.

Following the way it plays in his head, Teddy nods, though it only feels like a bit of pressure against the top of Billy's head, then moves one hand back to brush at Billy's cheek. He can't see the tears from this angle, but it's easy to remember where they fell.]


We'll get through this. [They will. For all of Teddy's doubts - They've gotten through terrible things before. They'll get through this. Even if it gets worse.]
halfnhalf: ([&billy] maybe all our dreams will fade)

[Action, October 15th]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-10-20 05:04 am (UTC)(link)
[Like this, it almost feels like Billy really is shining through. It's enough to make Teddy believe his words more, find a tiny flicker of hope when the fake had suffocated the life of the roaring blaze out.

He tilts his head downward to press a long kiss against Billy's hair, enough to be felt, and brushes his thumb against his boyfriend's cheek. Billy believes him, even if just for this moment, so Teddy will believe in him, too, just like he always has.

Together.]
halfnhalf: ([teddy] yeah it was kinda a big deal)

[Action, October 21st] glorious timeskip~

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-10-21 01:46 am (UTC)(link)
[If not for taking up offers to eat, talk, or just plain get away for a little while, Teddy might have gone insane. Not from lack of affection or contact, though that would certainly play a role, but from his own uncertainty. There's still a haze of it around his mind, one that makes him ask questions that no one wants to hear, wanting to change to suit whatever they wanted of him. But at least it let him believe that some people still valued who he was.

The haze is not important to the one surrounding Billy's head, sometimes completely hiding him from the rest of the world and sometimes letting him peek in from a window. It's why he'd never said a word, just tried to figure out what Billy wanted out of him by changing himself slowly. Hazel eyes one day. A smaller nose another. Dirty-blond hair the next. Small little things that he'd shift slowly, enough to make it look natural, not wanting to be caught. Sometimes he'd get a response, somethings he wouldn't. It was pretty impossible to tell, thus utterly frustrating, as much as it had been when they first met and Teddy had no idea what he wanted.

The change today is in the muscle build of his body - it's a little more pronounced, like it had been when they met. He didn't interact with the fake Teddy very much, but he knew that he'd been quiet, strong, supportive, and capable, such a contrast from the broken person who tried talking Billy out of it. Maybe if he looked stronger? Maybe...

Still, Billy hadn't noticed. Billy hadn't noticed a lot of things. Sometimes it felt like Teddy would talk to a brick wall, and - and it was fine, he knew that Billy was struggling. But what he'd give to have the real, expressive Billy back, who'd sigh in exasperation or gesture with his hands while he spoke or talk animatedly and -

Teddy had promised that he'd be there for him, work together with him and see this thing through with him. And he has no intention on breaking it. It's just... it's hard. It's so, so very hard, harder than the internal debate and doubts he has with himself. It hurts to see the man he loves struggling so much, with the possession and with himself. If there was some other way he could help...

That makes Teddy blink and lift his head from the sixth book he'd been reading since their stay at the clinic, marking his place with him thumb. It's the first time Billy had looked at him in hours, even when Teddy would call him or try to talk to him...]


I'm here. What is it?
halfnhalf: ([teddy] shadows gettin' fierce up here)

[Action, October 21st]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-10-21 02:29 am (UTC)(link)
[Teddy sees the way he's looking him over, taking note of it. Did... that mean he liked it? It wasn't quite an appreciative gaze, but it was something. Something to make note of.

But what really sticks out at him is what he says when Billy looks away again. There's a small pause from Teddy as he lets that sink in. They should go home... It's been three weeks since Teddy has seen their place, their kids - pets (he'd wanted to see them, badly, but with all this going on, he had to ask Kate to watch over them), their - his room... And strangely enough, he'd missed it terribly. He might not ever think of it as his real home, but it was his and Billy's, something they made all on their own, placed little pieces of themselves in and shared new and old memories alike. It was where they started to shed their youthful innocence and step into the world of adulthood and independence together, it was where they laughed and cried together, shared all kinds of secrets, some whispered to the air as they shared stories of each other's lives, some pressed to damp skin as they made love.

It was shelter, and with Billy, it was home. And he missed it.

So Teddy closes his book, knowing he'd find his place later, and sets it aside, rising from his chair to get closer to Billy and touch his shoulder.]


I'm fine with that. [He wants to crack a joke, something like "I think our butts were going to fuse with the chair and windowsill if we sat there any longer", but would Billy appreciate that? Did he ever? There was always that touch of exasperation that Teddy always read as fond, but -

No, shut up, it's fine, it's not important right now.]


... I, um. I actually brought you something yesterday... for something like this.
halfnhalf: ([teddy] either fond or sleepy)

[Action, October 21st]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-10-21 02:45 am (UTC)(link)
[Teddy doesn't move until Billy answers him, making sure that he was heard and his words were clear. The fact that they were makes a little smile come up, and he brushes the back of his fingers against Billy's temple before he moves again, this time back to the bed. Underneath it is something that he picked up while he was out for a little while, something that caught his eye as something Billy might like. He hopes so, anyway... He at least knows his size and preference: a size too large so that he can burrow and feel warmest in, pockets since his hands tend to get cold easily, a hood, and red, his favorite color, though a little darker than his cape.

Yes, it's a hoodie that he pulls from the bag, one that he holds by the shoulders as he walks back to Billy, showing it off for him.]


It's been getting colder outside. I figured you'd need this.
halfnhalf: ([teddy] uh huh i'm listening)

[Action, October 21st]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-10-21 03:21 am (UTC)(link)
[Teddy's observant enough to recognize the signs, though he makes no move to point it out or ask if he's all right. Instead, he slides an arm around Billy's shoulders and pull him against his side, enough so that his ear is against his heart, though that in particularly wasn't intentional.

It looks like... maybe, he made the right choice, what with the way Billy's holding it.]


How about... we leave in five minutes. That should give us time to pack up what we brought.

[Sure, he might be willing to do what Billy wants to do. But Teddy wants to gently push him along, too, make sure that he gets up and moves when he makes that decision, give a certain time limit so that they won't stall, so that whatever's got a hold of him won't make that energy fade into nothing.

He believes in him, believes in him with everything he has, even if it's hard. But that doesn't mean he doesn't need a little help when he stumbles, and Teddy's happy to help him up.]
halfnhalf: ([teddy] the -)

[Action, October 21st]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-10-21 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
I'll get my stuff together.

[He lets Billy indulge a little longer, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying it, too. Feeling his boyfriend snuggled against his side like they were sitting on the couch together and watching a movie instead of taking their first real steps into the world again... It's a comfort, something that soothes his worries just a little.

But Teddy doesn't want this to last too long, despite everything else saying otherwise. He rubs Billy's forearm a few times, then slowly leans away so that his sudden movement won't jar him too much, and moves away to get his own things together. Clothes of his own, the books he'd read in the infinite downtime, a few toiletries, some snacks he'd brought... everything else already belonged to the clinic, in case their patients needed a long stay.]
halfnhalf: ([teddy] i'm an avenger now)

[Action, October 21st]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-10-21 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
[Teddy stands with his bag over his shoulder when he hears the sound he'd been hoping to hear. The sound of feet hitting the floor, of Billy finally sliding off the windowsill and ready to go. He turns to look at Billy, standing there clutching the hoodie in a vice grip, and for the first time in a long while, he smiles big and wide, genuine enough even without the dimples there. It feels good to smile again. It feels good to see Billy taking this first step on his own, even if Teddy needed to give him a gentle push to get there.

It's a simple act, sliding off a windowsill. Yet Teddy feels like he's never been prouder of his boyfriend.

Rather than stay ahead of him, Teddy steps beside him, resisting the urge to take his hand. He's not sure if Billy wants to do this himself, or if he even wants Teddy to hold his hand, or... whatever else his insecurity spits out at him. But he does stand shoulder to good-shoulder, and he nudges it with his own.]


Ready? Let's go.

[And then the first few steps.

Here we go.]
halfnhalf: ([teddy] mmm frappucino)

[Action, October 21st]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-10-21 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
[The steps are slow at first, and then it seems to just get easier. Teddy keeps at Billy's side, not ahead of him, not behind him, but beside him, where he belongs. Where he always...

Where he always...

They're walking. Billy's walking. They're out of that room and going down the hall, and that's absolutely more than Teddy can ask for. The door isn't far from here, another possible hurdle. But Billy made it this far, and it seems to be getting easier the more that he really moves. Teddy can tell just by watching him from the corner of his eye.

And as they near it, maybe Teddy can't help brushing their fingers together. He wants it, he does, but... should he? He just doesn't know, and that uncertainty is just... it's...

But isn't this...

Where he always...]
halfnhalf: ([teddy] lost in thought)

[Action, October 21st]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-10-21 05:21 am (UTC)(link)
[Teddy had thought this would happen. Billy slowly coming to a halt, swaying like he's afraid, like he wants to go back, and Teddy nearly just pushes his doubts aside and takes his hand and goes when Billy completes a few of those steps for him.

He looks down at their hands, Billy holding onto his like he needs that support. The little whisper that'd been brushing his mind with doubts shows itself again, he's just scared, it says, he'd do that with anyone, he'd do that with that fake you, but it actually goes unheard.

Billy is holding his hand and it feels like little pieces of himself slide back together. Not whole again, not even close, but - it happened, it's happening.

It only takes a breath for Teddy to close his fingers around Billy's, and he glances upward to give him a smile, not as large but just as real as the last. They're doing this together. Billy and Teddy.

Teddy takes the first few steps, giving his boyfriend's hand a gentle tug as he rests his other hand on the door.]


This is one small step for man... one giant leap for Kaplan kind.

[... Dumb joke. Maybe too dumb.]
halfnhalf: ([teddy] all this over a friendzone?)

[Action, October 21st]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-10-21 06:06 am (UTC)(link)
[Well. Billy didn't let go of his hand, and - he even laughed. There was that exasperation again, one Teddy isn't quite sure about anymore. But it was a laugh, something that was sorely missing for these past few weeks. He'll take anything, especially a laugh. Laughter from Billy, even as small as that, feels like a breath of fresh air.

Though that might be from the fact that the door is open now, and Teddy's already pulled Billy out into the daylight. He takes a few steps, then stops, just to lift his head and look up at the trees, the sound of birds, the wind tussling his hair.

Welcome to Luceti Park.

God, no, one bad joke was enough. Instead, he looks across to Billy, a musing little expression on his face as he observes him quietly. It's the first time he's been outside in nearly two week, only allowing himself to look through glass... How is he doing now?]

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