selfhelp | [IC] Appointments Post

...Teddy, are you listening?

[Billy leans over, pressing a kiss to Teddy's earlobe, then directly below it, brushing against his jaw.]

It doesn't matter what I think. Me, or the little old ladies, or anyone. What matters is what you think. What you like. If you think they're too much, then get rid of them. But if you like them, then don't. Change them around until you're comfortable. Whatever you decide to do - or feel, or be - I'll support you. And I'll love you.

[He presses in closer, sliding a hand around to turn Teddy's face so they can face each other, even if only peripherally.]

I promise.

[... It's the first time Teddy realized that the little whispers of you're not good enough aren't his own voice. They're similar, but not him. They're people he knew before he changed himself for the better, high schoolers who loved hanging with him just because he made them look good, nothing more than a piece of jewelry, and him thinking that this was all there was to life. They're the boys on his basketball team, the girls who walked with him and paid a bit too much attention to him. They're everyone but him... except that one voice that wonders why he's even listening to the others when there are so many who love him for everything that he is, not everything that he isn't.

Billy is one of them, one of the first. And Teddy hates himself for doubting that, still hates himself for feeling so self-conscious around him when he didn't used to just a couple months ago. Billy doesn't have a certain image he wants Teddy to fulfill; he never had any images for anyone. Teddy could choose to be Hulkling as his real form and Billy would love him just as much. It's still so hard to wrap his mind around, a mind that had - and has - been obsessed with appearances for years.

Teddy tips his head just slightly, enough for their temples to touch together, and he lets out a soft sigh as he shuts his eyes. He feels shaken, and he's not sure if it's in a good or bad way. Maybe both. Billy's always been able to rock him to the core in all sorts of ways.]

I know... I know. I'm sorry, I know you said all this before. I know this... thing I have is...

[It's so annoying. You should just stop. Get over it.]

I know what it is.

[Billy's voice is faint, arms squeezing Teddy just a bit more tightly, pressing close against him, his eyes clenched.

It's my fault.

I brought these thoughts back, I made you start to doubt yourself again.

And it hurts, knowing the damage he'd done. But it's also a harsh reminder of the fact that it's his responsibility to repair that damage. No matter what or how long it takes, he'll do it. It's what Teddy needs.]

But I know that... it'll take some time to really get over it again. Isn't that what you've been telling me all along, when it comes to dealing with my problems? That it takes time? But also- ...also...

[He shifts again, this time to press his lips softly and briefly on Teddy's.]

...We'll figure it out as a team. We'll get through this. And I'll support you as long as it takes, just like you've been supporting me...

[A part of Teddy wants to argue against that, say this is something that he'll likely never get over, not when it's been an ugly presence in his head for so long. Billy should just stop trying.

Yet not only would that be incredibly hypocritical on his part, but he knows that isn't true. He was better - or, at least, better than he used to be. He did think he looked good, and he was proud of himself. He hadn't realized just how shaky that new foundation he was on could be, and how easily it shattered and brought him right back to the safer, yet darker place.

It was Billy who helped him out the first time, and... unfortunately, in a way, he was also the one that sent Teddy back to it. Doesn't it stand to reason that Billy can pull him out a second time, even if it might be harder? That he'd love and support him and be as dedicated to him as much as Teddy is to Billy?]

... Okay.

[He turns enough to face him, moving both hands up to hold Billy's face in them.]

Okay.

[He accompanies that with a gentle kiss on his lips, then brushes their noses together before he leans back, a little smile on his face.]

We'll figure it out. I'll help you and you'll help me with everything that's pushing us down. We'll work through this as a team. It's not going to be easy for either of us, but...

[With another soft kiss to his lips:] You're worth it. We're worth it.

[At Teddy's words, Billy finally lets himself fully relax, a wide, relieved smile crossing his lips as he leans into the touch. It's not perfect - they're not perfect - but isn't that the point? Perfection was what Teddy feared that he wanted, after all. What that deeply-ingrained madness had made him believe. Perfection isn't what's important.

What matters - the only thing that matters - is that they have each other, that they aren't giving up. That they won't let this thing defeat them.]

Yeah... yeah, we are. And we can do this.

[He gives Teddy another nuzzle, and then another kiss, and finally just hugs him, pulling him close for a long embrace. Who needs perfection, when they have this?]

Mmm.

[Teddy might not be completely optimistic, but as long as they believe in each other, they can do anything. So he shuts his eyes and settles in the moment, arms around Billy and holding him close, like he's his most important treasure. No matter what the future holds for them, they've got this moment right here. Everything is right. Not perfect, but... that's what makes it so right.

Teddy is so tired of trying to be perfect for someone else. Even if the alternative is... well, him. If Billy loves him... that's enough for him. More than enough.]

[Billy holds him like that for a while, as long as he can, but before too much time can pass, he does notice that he's kind of in his underwear in a room without heat in the middle of November, and even with the hot springs just outside, there isn't enough warmth filtering through to combat the air on his bare skin. He shivers and huddles closer to Teddy for warmth as much as comfort now, his voice a bit sheepish against Teddy's hair.]

So, um... how do you feel about getting in the water now? Or should I get my clothes back on? Either's fine, but I'd hate to ruin the week by getting hypothermia on the first day.

[Teddy opens his eyes just as he holds Billy a little closer, thinking about which one to go with. It'd be nice to soak in the water for a while, and he remembers how nice it felt. But the thought of going there with just his underwear, or without... nngh. He still wasn't wholly comfortable with that, even if it's easier now that he and Billy talked.

Still, he can't avoid it forever. There wouldn't be any fun for that, for him or for Billy. So Teddy rubs Billy's back and shoulders as he leans back, a lopsided smile on his face as he moves his hands down to unbutton his jeans. Maybe Billy will enjoy that, what with Teddy watching him strip down to his underwear.]

I think I'm ready to go. Hypothermia's probably the worst anniversary gift ever, anyway.

[Billy's gaze drifts downwards as Teddy starts working at his pants. He would enjoy the show, yes - is already doing so - but he can't help but worry whether or not Teddy's really okay. Whether it's intuition or just dumb luck that the thought came to mind, he has to be sure.]

Would... you rather go in with suits and tees? I was kind of teasing about the naked bit, if you're not comfortable with it...

Nah, I'm cool with it.

[It'd be easy to leave it at that, say that he's okay and go on. But...

But.

He pauses just as he unzips his pants, eyes downward and not looking at Billy, and just... moves in to lean his temple against Billy's cheek, though he still tries to shuffle out of the pants as much as he can while sitting down. It's a little awkward, he has to admit.]

Even if I'm not comfortable, I want to. I'm never going to get comfortable if I don't.

[It's quiet, as if he has a hard time admitting it. Just a year or two ago, he wouldn't have admitted that much. But with everything they've gone through now...]

[Billy makes a faint "hmm" sound in return, considering that. Then, calmly, he reaches out to brush his hand over Teddy's bare chest, sliding it down towards his stomach, then lower to the edge of the pants he's trying to wiggle out of.]

...Can I help?

[Oh.

Okay.

That feels nice. Very nice, in fact. He does hold his breath when Billy's fingers brush against his stomach, but the moment passes, and he's much more focused on the way his fingers are brushing against the edge of his pants.

Very nice indeed.]

... All yours, captain. [He holds up his hands as if to give Billy the reins, then leans back, hands balancing his weight behind him, giving Billy a nice view of his torso. It's a bit unintentional, considering his eyes are on what Billy's doing with his pants, but.]

[Billy looks pleased by the response, though he tries not to look too pleased, in case it discourages Teddy from being honest with him again. It's hard to conceal, though; he really did want to make Teddy feel good, and as a result hopefully encourage him further.

Shifting away, he slips off the bed and kneels down on the floor between Teddy's legs. His hands lift to stroke up and down the blond's sides, fingers splayed. He knew every part of this body, what's sensitive and what isn't - which touches comfort him, and which don't. He knows how to do this properly... and if he does it, that means nothing's really changed, right...?

You can do this. We can do this. Come on...

Exhaling deeply, he lifts up, leans in, and kisses just above the trail of hair visible beyond Teddy's underwear, the touch soft and a little teasing.]

You have... really awesome hips, you know...?

[Teddy takes in a deep breath, all too aware of just how close Billy is to his lower regions. It's kind of pathetic how even that, and the way he automatically spreads his legs to give Billy some room, makes him have to think about other things, lest he makes this too awkward. He wouldn't want to ruin things by being a dumb teenager who has his incredibly hot boyfriend between his knees and achingly close to - nnnngh.]

My... hips?

[It's a bit of a random body part to focus on, is all, especially since Teddy finds his own completely unremarkable. Compared to Billy, at least, who has a fantastic lower body, hips and thighs and legs and all...]

Mmhm. These hips.

[Billy kisses the same spot again, fingers sliding upwards to hook around the belt loops of Teddy's pants, slowly urging them down.]

You have, like... man hips. And man thighs. Like- they're so straight and rigid and-

[He lets his fingers trail down Teddy's sides the more he pulls, the material catching on his underwear a bit and dragging it down an inch or so. Billy's quick to kiss that newly-revealed skin, too.]

God, your muscles. You know, for a while - back when we just started dating - I wondered if you were still shifting because muscles shouldn't be allowed to look that good. And then I got to touch them...

[He shifts his hands again to get the edge of Teddy's pants under his butt, dragging them out from beneath him.]

I'd never make that assumption again.

[He tilts his head, resting it briefly against Teddy's thigh, smiling affectionately.]

Nobody'd mistake your legs for a girl's, that's for sure.

[Teddy watches every movement of Billy's, just barely holds back a shudder from all the touches, listens to every word he says. He can't exactly agree with his words, but to hear them, to know they're coming from a person who wears his heart on his sleeve, who is so obvious when he lies and can easily tell someone what he's thinking with just a look in his eyes...

Well. Like he said before, if he can't believe in himself yet, then he can believe in Billy, right?

It's the touches and the visual stimuli that do it more than anything: his other thoughts, ones that focused on ice and drinking something he hated and other such things, are wiped away, replaced by how his underwear inches down, how Billy presses a kiss to the skin above it, how he drags his pants down and practically kisses him with his eyes and his words...

And with those distractions gone, he feels a bit of heat begin to gather below his gut. Teddy likes to think that he's a good guy who has a lot of self control and is not, definitely not, one of those dumb horny guys who gets turned on by the slightest things. He's pretty much failing his own image here, but - but it's Billy. Billy's the only one who could do this to him, and it's been months since they've done anything physical beyond making out...

It's not full arousal - it's more like the beginnings of it. The last time this happened, it... went a little badly. But Teddy doesn't want to just pull himself away just yet, not with Billy looking at him like that.]

I, ah... think I'd be a little worried if you thought my legs looked that feminine. [He certainly feels complimented. Teddy never thought of his legs and thighs like that before... kind of hard when you obsess over your boyfriend's legs so much.]

[Billy snorts faintly, turning his head to press a daring kiss to Teddy's inner thigh.]

Like I said. Not your legs.

[He's heard the comments, he knows. Not that it really bothers him - that would require giving a damn about what people think of him, for one, and for two, having "girly legs" isn't what he'd call an insult when he's fought alongside people like She-Hulk and Miss Marvel - but he has enough sense to recognize the difference. People would never mistake Teddy, or Hulkling, for a woman.

And that's okay.

His gaze drifts back to the spots he'd been kissing a moment ago. It could just be his imagination, but... is that the beginnings of a tent being pitched...? Or is it just - dare he say it - wishful thinking?

...Hmm.]

I could go on for a while about your legs, though. Remember? I did tell you that before.

[On that paper back in the hotel, that horrible, heartbreaking and yet eye-opening list. The one he'd kept without telling Teddy, the one hidden away in a secret place so he can remind himself every now and then of Teddy's deepest insecurities, the parts of him that need the most love and care. There would never be enough paper to give him the sort of space he'd need to say everything there was to say about Teddy. Everything he loves.

He doesn't let the memory ruin his mood, as much as it tries. It's fuel for the fire of this desire he's carrying, now, the powerful need to go further with this. Teddy's given him so much. It's time to give back, and... and climb out of the hole he's dug himself into.

Billy gives the pants another tug, and they're free of Teddy's underwear now, partially exposing him. He nudges the blond's legs apart just a little more and glances up, a silent question in his eyes. How far is he allowed to take this...?]

Yeah...

[How could Teddy forget? Billy had countered every awful thing Teddy thought about himself, cried over it, cried with him when he couldn't make himself stop like usual. He never found the paper again, so he thought they'd just left it behind at the hotel. Good riddance, if anyone asks him. He hates seeing his insecurities on display like that.

But anything else he was thinking of is brought to a screeching halt when Billy nudges his legs apart and looks at him, the question in his eyes all too obvious. He noticed, then... It's not like it was hard to do so, with how active they've been pretty much ever since they got here. And... And he's not hesitating. He's not shaking. He's asking a question, not making wild assumptions and diving way too deep with them. Teddy was so afraid that it'd be like a repeat of last time... And it looks like it won't be like that now.

It takes only a short moment to process that, and then Teddy spreads his legs a little further and strokes a hand through Billy's hair, giving his silent go-ahead, along with a little chuckle. Wow, they're really doing this? Just after they arrived? With Billy so -

Oh, wait. Right.]

Wait, wait, um - [Teddy moves both hands now, letting them rest on the back of Billy's neck.] I - Yeah. Definitely want to keep going. But maybe we should do this... under the covers or something? I still don't want to give you hypothermia for an anniversary gift.

Edited (NOT QUITE THERE YET) 2013-11-30 10:43 (UTC)

[It takes a moment for the words to click; Billy had been so quietly pleased that Teddy's okay with continuing that he'd forgotten all about being cold. But then Teddy reminds him, and... oh. Okay, yeah, he's feeling it now. He edges closer to soak up more of Teddy's body warmth, glancing from Teddy, to the bed, then back again, his brows lifting.]

Sure, um... what's your preference? Drop a blanket on me and do it here? Or would you rather lie back?

[He can honestly go either way; the bed is always a nice and cozy position, but he knows how Teddy likes to watch, and he's already in position, so...]

[... So the mental image of Billy doing anything sexual with a blanket wrapped around him like someone from the bible or something just makes Teddy snort, and he knows he'd probably be laughing more than moaning. He gives the back of Billy's head a light tug, then lets go to lean back and to the side until his head is back against the pillows, and he arches his back to start getting his feet and legs under the covers.]

Yeah, get up here. It'll be warmer if you're under the covers with me, anyway.

Edited 2013-11-30 18:19 (UTC)

[Billy's lips quirk into a smile, crawling up on the bed with Teddy and wiggling under the covers as well, huddling up against his boyfriend for a bit to try and regain some of that lost warmth. Sitting around in nothing but his underwear? Probably not a great idea when it's this cold. He probably should've waited for Teddy to get undressed, but who can blame him for being eager?

The plus side is that Teddy is always such a pleasant temperature, so it shouldn't take too long for Billy to stop his slight shivers.]

Didn't really think this through, did I... sorry.

I wouldn't say that. You got the hard part taken care of.

[Teddy trails his fingers down Billy's side, indicating his near-naked state. Then he frowns, remembering that yes, he does indeed still have his pants and shoes and socks on, and looks down at the blankets.]

Well, mostly. [He shifts his feet, making them smaller, easily kicking his shoes off because of it. The pants and socks can wait; there's a cold boyfriend by his side, and Teddy turns on his side and wraps an arm around his waist, fingers stroking circles into the small of Billy's back, their noses nearly touching.]

Wow, look at us. We didn't even make it to the springs.

[Billy smiles musingly and closes the distance between them with a tilt, tapping his noise against Teddy's. He slides an arm around the blond's shoulders, drawing him in. God, he's cozy.]

You know, I'm actually okay with this. The water'll still be there when we're finished, and we're here all week...

And no one's going to bother us. We've got this all to ourselves... We can practically do whatever we feel like doing.

[Unless someone comes up here to soak in the springs too, but Teddy doubts it. It is a little chilly to be going to the springs, after all.

With Billy pulling them closer, he might feel that Teddy's more than a little aroused now. It's still not quite fully, more like halfway now. But he's not fighting it. It'd be hard to do so now anyway, with Billy's body flushed up against his, the only thing keeping him from being completely naked being his underwear, just one little piece of cloth...]

[Whatever we feel like doing.

That, combined with the way Teddy draws him near, their bodies pressed close, makes Billy pause to take it in. It's an invitation as much as it is a promise, and Billy can't help but let his grip on Teddy tighten just a little, licking his lips. Whatever they want, huh...]

I can think of a few things we can do.

[And he feels like he might be sufficiently warmed up now. Even if he isn't, he's certain that things are about to get pretty heated, anyway. He leans in first, giving Teddy a long, tender kiss, then starts to draw away, slipping under the covers completely. He starts to kiss a line down Teddy's chest, working towards his stomach, and lower still, his hands trailing along Teddy's sides as he goes. He has a goal, here: to raise that half-mast erection by the time the underwear comes off.]

[Action, November 22nd]

[Action, November 22nd]

[Action, November 22nd]

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[Action, November 22nd] i guess saying it's nsfw is obvious now

[Action, November 22nd] probably yes

[Action, November 22nd] thar be dicks

[Action, November 22nd] it's raining dicks hallelujah

[Action, November 22nd] that's a lot of dicks

[Action, November 22nd] i'm sure they won't complain

[Action, November 22nd]