selfhelp | [IC] Appointments Post

[Billy allows himself several moments for that to sink in, thinking back. Between Loki's comments just now - particularly regarding Logan - and what he'd witnessed once at the house... and those comments about eclectic taste in music...

God, he feels so blind now, not to have seen it before.]

It's Rogue, isn't it.

[He's careful to keep his voice neutral, wanting confirmation before he sorts out how he feels about this. But with all the puzzle pieces falling into place, just saying it aloud seems like a confirmation all on its own.

And how he feels about it is... well, as usual, complicated.]

Yes.

[He considers, then adds:] Since January.

[There is more he could add, of course. How he feels for her, that he has pursued her since September, that she chose to come to him.

But all of that feels defensive, to even have to speak it out loud. He should not have to defend himself on this matter.

This one fact, he does add, however:] She makes me happy.

[Billy's initial response is a quiet, noncommittal noise, more for his benefit than Loki's, since the god can't hear him. There's a lot of questions he could ask - how it even started, how they hooked up, why Rogue chose him, how they can even be together with so many secrets. He doesn't voice them, though; he has no right to ask those questions and even less of a right to the answers. Loki isn't telling him this to be questioned about it.

"Your good opinion is important to me."

And what is his good opinion? God, he wishes that came to mind as easily as those questions. This isn't what he expected to hear today, not at all. He expected horses and wheat and maybe some leftover portal talk, if either of them were feeling bold about that matter, but this isn't something he was prepared for.

After a long moment, though, hands twisting together as the only sign of his lingering discomfort, he turns his head to look at Loki again, brows furrowed.]

I think... if I said what's expected of me - by anyone else, I mean - I'd be kind of a hypocrite, wouldn't I? After saying that you should rely on people, trust them, call them friends... if I judged you for finding someone who was more than that, I'd be a pretty horrible person.

[And... really, what's wrong with it? Rogue can take care of herself, and he's been telling other people this whole time - the ones who know about his magic lessons, anyway - that he trusts Loki, relies on him, wants him to find his way. Rogue started out on the wrong path, and so did his own mother, and so did so many of the great people he's grown up admiring. Being a villain isn't the end of one's journey. It's just a stepping stone in the dark.

He doesn't want to be that kind of person. And he hates hypocrisy.

So finally, finally, his expression seems to decide on itself. There's concern, yes, and still some lingering uncertainty, but not disapproval, not accusation. Just a lack of understanding because he hasn't watched a relationship develop, only envisioned two names together as a couple that he hadn't expected to exist, especially after Rogue had told him off for even relying on Loki during a draft. Though she'd had her reasons for that.

He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes for a moment, and smiles.]

I'm happy for you.

[And he means it.]

[The corner of Loki's lips pulls up in a crooked smile.]

I said something very like that to her, several months ago. That I was tired of being told that I needed to reach out somehow, while in the next breath 'but not near me.'

She had something of the same look on her face.

[He gives Billy a relieved smile.]

I'm glad.

[He's silent for a moment. His instinct is to just leave it at that. But this is an experiment, as much as everything with Rogue has been. Cautiously, he's trying out something new, with the few people he actually trusts. It feels strange and tentative, but he's become so unmoored here over the last six months that he needs to try something.]

If you... want to ask anything... well, I cannot guarantee an answer, but I shall try.

...Is it weird that my first thought is "double date"?

[He waves a hand, though, his lips quirking to indicate how serious he really isn't about the suggestion. Even if they were public about the relationship, he doubts Teddy would be very enthusiastic about it. He still doesn't like Loki very much, even if he's respectful of Billy's own wishes on the matter.]

Um... well, I won't go prying in business that isn't mine. Why don't you just tell me what you're comfortable with sharing? I mean, I think it's pretty clearly doing you some good.

[Loki laughs.] I can't even imagine.

[His smile becomes almost sheepish.] I don't know. I haven't tried to just... tell someone about something I care about in centuries.

Edited 2013-04-04 07:31 (UTC)

[A sheepish Loki is actually kind of adorable. It's probably a good thing that he can't hear Billy's tone when he speaks at this point.]

Okay, baby steps. Maybe we can do it another way... you ever heard of quid pro quo?

[Loki snorts and gives Billy a seriously did you just ask me that look.] I might as well have invented it.

[Billy looks unruffled by the look, merely lifting a brow.]

Fair enough. So? Quid pro quo. You ask me, I'll ask you.

Fair enough.

[He'll even try to stay on the topic at hand for now.]

How did you meet?

[Success! He'll try not to let it go to his head.]

Back in my world, the Avengers temporarily disbanded, and about the same time a kid came back from the future trying to get some help in dealing with a villain who was chasing him. He was able to find a list of kids who shared some kind of history with the original Avengers, and me and Teddy were on there. We met when Nate got the team together and introduced us.

I see. So not exactly an ordinary meeting. And I imagine things simply proceeded from there?

Pretty much. Once I got over how terrified I was of him - big green muscle monster, kind of intimidating, you know? - we figured out how many things we had in common, and everything just kind of fell into place.

[He smiles nostalgically, unable to help it. Nothing makes him feel fond and affectionate quite as easily as Teddy.]

So, quid pro quo. What about you and her?

We met upon my arrival here. She found me before I'd made my way into town. I suppose we got along all right until I told her my name, and then she wasn't terribly pleased. She rather disliked me, I think.

...Yeaaaah, Mr. Stark kind of made the rounds letting his friends know what went on back in Manhattan. Your reputation preceded you.

I'd gotten that impression. It was expected. [He shrugs.]

I thought she was at least interesting, as mortals went. But I've always rather liked women of her sort.

Not at all the stuff of romance. I had no desire to form any sort of attachments with anyone, let alone mortals. Quite the opposite, in fact. [He gives Billy a crooked smile.] How things change.

Edited 2013-04-06 01:19 (UTC)

At least some change is a good thing. And Rogue's kinda prickly with everyone she first meets, I think. As a rule. She and I weren't even close to getting along until she found out I was a mutant. Just needed a foot in the door I guess.

[He laughs.] There is prickly, and there is active dislike and distrust.

I suppose finding out that sort of commonality would form quite the connection.

Well, you know. Mutant prejudice and all. She's used to us kind of sticking together, if her universe is anything like mine.

I can only imagine, really.

[His smile goes wry. He doesn't really have an automatic in group or commonality like that. He never fit in to Asgard, and he certainly never could have found common ground to call upon with the Jotun.]

It doesn't sound terribly pleasant for you lot, from what the both of you have told me. And it is quite similar in that way.

Similar? To what, your world?

[He knows that Loki can't be in the greatest circumstances - the whole Frost Giant thing - but his universe doesn't really have any gossip about him being mistreated for his origins. Only for his behaviour, which is... kind of expected after all the terrible things that Loki has done.

And in his mind it's better to talk about that than the mutant issues back home. At least, more comfortable for him.

...Oh geez, speaking of which- he needs to confirm something with Loki before they part ways, now that he knows about Rogue. Crap.]

I don't know anything of mutants in my world. No, I meant your worlds sound quite similar.

[He smiles crookedly.]

I wouldn't really draw a similarity with myself. While I have always been treated as if there is something terribly wrong with me, no one but that bastard Odin knew the cause of my supposed defect. [Which is both better and worse, in its own special and horrible ways.]

Oh. [Well that makes more sense.] I guess that's... good? Kind of? I don't know.

[He's as terrible as ever at this.]

I guess our worlds are similar enough, yeah. There's just a lot that's happened in mine that hasn't happened yet in hers. And the order's kind of mixed up, too.

[Loki shrugs.] It is what it is.

[For his part, it would have been nice to not be so alone, and while Rogue has said there are some issues with other mutants, she's obviously found quite a bit of happiness being amongst them. On the other hand, from what he's seen of the Jotnar, he certainly never would have found any welcome there.

And glad of it.

A change of subject seems to be in order, and it's his turn to ask a question. It seems odd to be asking for things that seem so inconsequential, but he knows that they are actually quite important.]

What is it you like best about Teddy?

Oh god, that's a tough one. Um...

[There's so much about Teddy that he likes, so many qualities that he's come to treasure and appreciate - and therefore encourage - and all of those he had to earn the right to see, since Teddy hid so much of himself just to conform to the group at first.]

I guess... if I had to pick just one, I'd choose his strength. Not physically- I mean, I like that too- [How effortlessly he can carry Billy both on the battlefield and in the privacy of their home, how protected he feels in those arms, how invincible he is when Hulkling is watching his back-] But he's been through so much in his life, and he's able to keep moving forward despite it. He's always smiling, even when he doesn't have to. And... I mean, the more I went through, the more cynical I got- and I'm sarcastic, and I can be kind of a jerk sometimes, and I'm always saying the wrong thing- but Teddy's just... good. He's a good person to the core. He makes me happy, he's always making me smile, like that optimism of his rubs off on me. He inspires me, makes me want to be a better person.

[His expression shifts, nostalgic, affectionate, a little shy. Sickening.]

I really love that about him.

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