selfhelp | [IC] Appointments Post

[There's a small puff of air against Billy's hair as Teddy leans back again, a smile on his face from the little snort he let out. Grandparents, wow... If they were so happy about him and Billy dating, then what about marriage and kids?

... In the future, anyway. Not right now. They'd probably receive the worst punishments ever if they came back with a ring and a little girl at their age.]

Yeah... somehow I don't think they'd approve of Godzilla for their granddaughter's name.

[Billy shares the smile at that; he can all too easily imagine his parents' reaction to such a suggestion. Yeah, it probably wouldn't go over too well.]

I think my mother would kill us in our sleep.

[He looks like he's about to say more, but a yawn catches him off-guard before he can continue.]

[Looks like conversations about kids and the future and what it might hold will have to wait. That cute yawn earns another kiss on top of his head, and then Teddy's pushing the both of them up, the movement causing Optimus to lift his head and see what's going on.]

Speaking of sleep, how about we catch a little bit of it ourselves? We've got a pretty big day tomorrow.

[Without waiting for an answer, Teddy unzips the entrance to the tent, then holds his hand out to help Billy step inside. Weakest carrying over the threshold ever.]

[Billy manages to look sheepish about cutting off the conversation, but he really is tired. The climb had taken more out of him than he'd expected, and the recognition that he'd be using magic again tomorrow... well, it was frightening still, but he couldn't keep delaying it like this. And maybe he'll feel more at peace with it in the morning.

Smiling sleepily, he accepts Teddy's hand, even if it is a weak threshold carry. They already did that after their engagement, anyway, so he's not even thinking about it.]

Can I just... not wake up, in that case?

Unless you want your name legally changed to Sleeping Beauty, then no.

[Once Billy's inside, Teddy steps in after him, stopping Optimus before he can follow after them. After a few quiet instructions to lie down, stay, guard the tent and good, good boy with a thorough ear scratching, Teddy pulls himself back inside again, zipping up the tent as he does so.]

Also? I don't want to miss out on everything my fiancé does when he's awake.

[Billy flops only the sleeping bag and blanket without fanfare or changing; truth be told he's too sore and tired to put that much effort into it. He wiggles under the covers and pulls them aside to invite Teddy in to join him, lifting a brow in his direction.]

I hope you're not disappointed when all I manage to do is blow up a couple of rocks.

[Just like old times.]

Pretty sure I'll be the exact opposite of disappointed, actually.

[Since Teddy isn't as tired as Billy, he at least makes the effort to undo his pants and leave them in the corner, leaving him in his shirt and underwear. Once that's taken care of, he takes Billy's invitation and joins him under the covers, already cuddling up to him since he's the one who'll be arranging the covers around them.]

You're going to do great. I know you will.

I wish... I could be as sure as you.

[Billy drags the blanket back over them both and curls himself around Teddy, burying his face in Teddy's hair. It's uncanny, really, how humbling it is to hear those words. To hear the one that he'd hurt the most with his magic all but admitting that he's glad of this, that he knows Billy can do great things again.

Maybe he can do this, after all.]

But I'll try. As long as you believe in me, as long as you're okay with this... I'll try.

Hmm...

[He kind of wants to leave it at that. If Teddy wasn't okay with it, they probably wouldn't be here at all, and he's pretty sure Billy already knows that.

But he knows that Billy needs to hear things like this, too, especially after just how badly his magic hurt him. And it's... not like Teddy is completely sure about it himself. But that's another reason why they need to do this; it's training for Billy as well as healing for Teddy.

So instead of just keeping silent, Teddy presses a kiss against Billy's collarbone, then buries his face against it.]

'm okay with it. Believe in you all the way, B. [...] Wake me up when you're ready to go?

[Because if he knows himself, even though they're going to sleep at the same time, Teddy's likely still going to be like a bear in hibernation by the time Billy wakes up.]

[The reassurance did help, and it makes Billy feel a little better to hear it directly, although he isn't surprised by it. He's surprised very little by Teddy these days- moreso than he was back when the whole magic mess had just happened. Every kindness, every gesture of decency, every indication that Teddy views him as anything more than a monster was a surprise in one way or another. Now, though... it's not so much that he expects it, although he certainly appreciates it, but... it's normal, now. He's glad that it's normal. It means he thinks more of himself and less of Teddy, in the way that he ought to. Less "he should hate me" and less "he deserves better" and less "he made the wrong choice". More...

This is right.

This is good.

This is meant to be.

His response is a quiet hum, a slight shift for comfort and closeness, and silence, as he lets those thoughts and the reassurance of Teddy's support - both physical and verbal - soothe him to sleep.

He wakes around dawn, hours later; with how early they'd slept, he's not surprised by this. Nor is he surprised to be so tangled up in his boyfriend's- fiance's- limbs. Gently he wriggles himself loose with practiced ease, kissing Teddy's cheek and tucking the blanket closer to hide the rising sun so it won't be a bother in an hour or so. After that he steps out of the tent and into the growing light of day.

The sun, heat, and a hyperactive golden retriever greet him. The thunderstorm of yesterday afternoon had brought about a rush of warmth even at the early hour, so after a refreshing tussle with the dog to wear out some of the pup's energy - and a good fifteen minutes worth of fetch for extra measure - Billy drags his shirt off, sets it on the grass not far from the tent, and sits down with his legs tucked under him, hands on his knees, and works his way through his morning exercises. It's different outside than it was in the apartment; the air is fresh and new, not just filtered through the window or the air ventilation. Teddy had been right to suggest this;. The altitude and the surroundings... god, he already feels a hundred times better about this than he had back in their place. It's new here, untouched, flawless. This is the perfect spot to start over.

After his workout is finished, he starts on the meditations. The regular ones at first: simple, calming thoughts, breathing exercises, and then, gentle chants to encourage himself. No magic yet, but... a tingle, maybe. A bracing for what's to come. Maybe it's another sign that it'll be okay- speaking the words doesn't make him tense up the way he did before.

I want this to work. I want this to work. I want this to be okay.

He's so lost in his preparations that he barely even registers Optimus tire of exploring and wander back to flop beside him, pressed against his leg. He does smile, though; his big fluffy anchor to the world.

I want I want I want Iwantiwantiwantiwantiwant-]

[Teddy wakes up earlier than usual, about an hour or so after Billy does. But he thinks "too early", then shuts his eyes and is soon asleep again. A little while later, he wakes once more, and this time he can't get back to sleep. He lays there for a while, wonders where Billy is for half of that before realizing that he probably hasn't come back yet (probably still too early, goddammmit), then decides he should probably actually get up.

The process takes a while, as it usually does when Teddy has to wake himself up with no pressing obligations. But after that, he unzips the tent and sticks his head out, still groggy and hair still a mess, and ends up noticing the shirt first.

Of course, his mind shoots to "shirtless Billy" with appreciation before he realizes that yeah, he's still doing his warmups. And indeed, Billy himself isn't too far away, meditating with their dog by his side and lost to the world. He won't interrupt, not while Billy's concentrating like this. Instead, he watches for a moment, letting the sleepiness ooze out of him (and still eying Billy's back, what can he say) before he ducks back inside to get ready properly.

Who knows, maybe he'll catch him hovering in place by the time Teddy's finished.]

[Billy doesn't hear the zipper, but Optimus does; when the tent zips shut he perks his head up, tail thumping against the ground. After a moment - when Teddy doesn't reappear - the thumping stops. Billy, meanwhile, is so deep into his focus exercise that his chanting finally manifests, a soft static filling the air, making fur and hair alike stand on end. By the time it starts to bother Optimus, Billy's no longer beside him but half a foot in the air, cross-legged, a thin blue light outlining his body. He hangs there for a while, tilting slightly to the side, completely unaware.

And then, moments after Teddy comes out again, Optimus barks (so very helpfully) and his concentration shatters. His eyes open, and he drops with a startled yelp.

Dignified and relaxed, yep, that's how he wanted to start his magical therapy.]

Edited 2014-06-25 09:49 (UTC)

[... You know, Teddy had that stray hovering thought as a joke, but when he's outside again and sees that his boyfriend has risen off the ground a little, he can't help smiling and shaking his head, just - absolutely smitten with this guy, this man who he chose to be his future husband. Only a bit of meditation and he's already floating...

Though that doesn't last long when Optimus barks and Billy falls gracelessly to the ground. His smile broadens to a grin, and he starts to give a slow clap while Optimus trots on over to him, tail wagging in an enthusiastic hello.]

I'm giving that a 7.5 for effort!

[Billy's on his back where he fell, flummoxed and vaguely annoyed as he stares at the sky, but the sound of Teddy's clapping makes him groan and cover his face with both hands.]

Oh my god. Write that on my gravestone when I die of embarrassment.

Hey, no. You can't do that yet. You've still gotta show me ya moves.

[He says it in his best Captain Falcon impression, which... considering his shifting ability, is damn good. When Billy lowers his hands again, he'll find that Teddy's moved close enough to look down at him upside-down.]

Also, you've still gotta marry me.

[That imitation is just uncanny enough to earn a snort out of Billy, and the reward of Teddy's smiling face is enough to balance out revealing his red face. His hands sit against his lips instead, concealing his own grin.]

Must I? I think your dog just tried to kill me.

He's just jealous that you're getting all my attention.

[Even though he's got one hand scritching behind Optimus' ears while he looks down at Billy. As if to cement his words though, Teddy leans down to kiss Billy's hands, seeing how they're covering his lips.]

Not like I'm engaged to him or anything.

Hmmm. Would you prefer that? What do you think, pup, would the One Ring fit on your digits?

[He slides his hands away and lifts them instead, fingers poised around the ring as if to draw it off, looking very thoughtful as he watches Teddy. It's as empty as a threat can get; ever since Teddy put it on him, he hasn't taken it off for a second, and he doesn't intend to, either.]

Edited 2014-06-25 10:33 (UTC)

[Yeah, Teddy knows it's the emptiest bluff. Still, he'll indulge, eyes still locked on Billy's while he keeps his boyfriend's hands in the corner of his vision.]

I think it'd be too big for him. Besides... you're my One here.

[He leans down to kiss him again, this time on the lips, now that Billy's hands are away. He even slips his hand out of Optimus' fur, something that makes the dog look at him, disgruntled, before sitting down right by him. Daddy's gotta stop kissing Papa sometime, after all, and then he'll get more love.]

[Billy's response is a pleased hum, tilting his head to enjoy the kiss as much as possible. He's content to let it last as long as he has air, but somewhere in the middle of it he separates his hands and allows them instead to seek out Teddy's, entwining their fingers. And that ring is, as ever, still firmly in place where it belongs.

When he finally withdraws he's smiling openly at last, squinting up at Teddy. With the rising sun at his back, surround his head like a big golden halo... god, he looks dazzling.]

Mm... good morning to you, too.

[Teddy gives a bright grin at that, then pulls back to get Billy sitting up again. Can't leave him lying there forever, what with them needing to start their training.]

Looks like you're already getting into it. In case it wasn't obvious, you were floating. [And there's something like pride in his expression when he voices that; he didn't quite expect Billy to get that far so fast, and there he is.]

[Billy reddens again, somewhat helplessly, though he doesn't cover his face this time, just sits up with Teddy and endures it quietly.]

God... I wasn't even trying to. I wasn't really doing- anything. I mean, I was chanting, but it wasn't supposed to be a spell...

[The joy he feels at Teddy's proud expression conflicts with the revival of his uncertainty; if he's casting when he's trying not to cast, does that mean this is a bad idea? But if Teddy's not bothered by it... hrngh.]

Hey, you're just starting out. Remember when you were doing this a couple years ago? You'd zap things without meaning to or anything. [Teddy leans back, waving his hands in a "magic hands" motion before settling them behind him to balance him, and tilts his head back. He's relaxed, and not worried about this development. And maybe if he's at ease, Billy can be too.]

I think it's just part of the process. You know, if you can take advice from someone who doesn't know a thing about magic.

Edited 2014-06-28 06:07 (UTC)

Taking advice from you kind of worked out the last time, so. I'll stick with that.

[It does help, though, that Teddy's so relaxed despite Billy's words. It lets him relax, and he feels a bit like he can treat this more normally than he'd originally thought. He'll still keep an eye out for any changes, just in case, but it's the sort of reassurance he'd been in desperate need of right now.]

So, then... what's the first step, boss?

The same first step as last time. [He frowns a little, because he really should've done this before he decided to come over and tease Billy. But with a slight eyeroll to himself, Teddy gets up, dusts off his butt and heads back to the tent, expecting Billy to follow, and pulls their backpacks over near the entrance.]

You remember which books helped you the most? [He opens up one bag and tips it over, letting a few books slide out.] These aren't my mom's, so I wasn't required to read them or anything, but...

[Action, May 6th]

[Action, May 6th]

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