[Action / Voice]

[selfhelp]

[Today something strange is going on in the plaza; Billy and Tommy are there and hanging out, chatting awkwardly and messing with their powers. "Billy" is tossing bursts of blue light into the air like fireworks, and "Tommy" is flashing between one side of the plaza and the other, skidding a bit over the pavement like he's out of practice. They don't seem to be there for any particular reason, but if people happen to question it, they're more than happy to strike up a casual conversation. Just don't expect a straight answer...

At some point they split off to visit their usual haunts (the battle dome, the coffee shop, the school, some of the other stores, and in Billy's case, the sky) but they never seem to be very far from one another, for some reason.

Eventually they'll be back at home, and that's when the journal comes out:]

Hey, people, got a question for you. My little bro is really fixated on getting a piercing. It's probably the boyfriend's fault. Anyone know how to do that in a way that won't make him lose an ear? Like, not involving ice and a needle?

Oh my God. Tommy, shut up... okay, well, kind of what he said. Minus the gore.

You're getting holes poked into you, dude, that's gore by definition.

Not if it's done professionally.

Yeah, I'm sure you'll find a real pro on Paper Facebook.

Don't you have somewhere to be? [ With the most put upon, quietly frustrated sigh. ]

With my speed? I'm already there. At the same time. [With a smug tone equal to that frustration.]

Thanks for making this a total wash. Sorry for wasting your time, everyone. If you know the answer just contact me privately.

Hey, are you getting a Prince Albert while you're at it?

OH MY GOD. [Maybe a little over dramatic. The journal is slammed shut.]


(( this is a JOINT POST between Billy selfhelp and Tommy dickmoves. At Tommy's request they have SWAPPED APPEARANCES, so Billy is pretending to be Tommy and Tommy is pretending to be Billy. As such, their powers are being faked - Tommy via enchantment and Billy via disguised teleports - and their personalities might not be up to par with what their CR is used to. They're identical twins aside from hair and eye colour (which is easy to fake) so it's a pretty good swap. The game is to see how many people can be pranked! So, you know, have fun with it. Journals used will be selfmoves and dickhelp.

Please specify in the subject line who you're tagging! If not, you might get a random or both of them. w/e. Three-ways are not discouraged but they are slow, so bear that in mind...! ))

Comments

[maximoff_girl]

... He'd rather-- what? Shove some sort of metal spike through his flesh than just... have a hole naturally appear? [Interesting use of the word "naturally".]

I suppose you could do it. I'm pretty sure Pietro did his own ear. ... If this isn't helping, what is it?

[selfmoves]

Pietro did his own?

[Does this make her the second person to suggest that Tommy blow a hole in his ear? Good grief.]

And I don't mean you, if you're worried about that. I mean I'm just here to have some fun.

[maximoff_girl]

Mmhm. He only ever did the one, though. So. ... Maybe it wasn't as easy or painless as he thought. I did hear him talking to Lance about getting another one, before I left, though. Hm.

Having fun is important. ... Piercings sort of fall under the "fun" category, don't they? They're certainly not anything that's necessary, unless having holes in your body somehow relates to your mutation. Though... I can't imagine what sort of mutation that wold be.

[selfmoves]

Psh. With how many mutants there were in my universe, there probably was a guy like that.

[maximoff_girl]

'Was'? ... [Odd choice of tense, there. The way he talks makes it sound like a bunch of mutants got wiped out or something. But. THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT. RIGHT?] ... Hopefully there still is, or else... I don't think his power's working very well.

[selfmoves]

[Uh... uhhhhh... okay backtracking-]

Was, as in historically. Theoretically. Whatever. Mutants have been around for thousands of years, right? So maybe Captain Piercings was around in the stone age or something.

[maximoff_girl]

Ooooh. [Reasoning: ACCEPTED. She chuckles.] ... I like his code name. Stone-piercings would be pretty, I think. Pietro insists that I wear stones or-- shined up plastics. I think he worries that Father will accidentally pull them out otherwise, or something... Which. Hm. ... Is that something we should caution Billy about? [She likes to think her Father would not do such thing, but Pietro's caution is usually well heeded. ]

[selfmoves]

[Yessss, crisis averted. He already knows better than mentioning M-Day to anyone who doesn't know about it, and Wanda would literally be the worst person to tell.]

Unless he or some other magnet guy shows up in Luceti and starts messing with people, he's probably okay not to worry about that.

[maximoff_girl]

I hope he does. ... It'd be nice to have him around. Do you spend much time with him, when you're back home?

[selfmoves]

[Wanda

Wanda no

that would not be nice at all]

Nah, we're not close.

[He's never actually met the guy, personally, but... well. Supervillain. It would be a little weird.]

[maximoff_girl]

[It would be the nicest ever. Omg SO NICE.]

... No? Why not?

[To have family and not be close; Wanda finds this idea to be very sad. NOT NICE AT ALL.]

[selfmoves]

He... travels a lot, I dunno.

[SUPER VILLAIN SUPER VILLAIN and also a terrorist. And also missing. And also probably a bit crazy.

It's an awkward situation.]

We just talked about if we should tell Billy not to wear metal in case Mags decides to rip off an ear or something, and you have to ask why not?

[He is not exactly Best Grandpa Ever material.]

[maximoff_girl]

Accidentally. He wouldn't do it on purpose. [She insists. Accidents happen! ... Especially in her life. Hexes are like, one giant accident waiting to happen. WHICH IS PROBABLY NOT A GOOD THING TO POINT OUT, when she's suggesting that as a method of ear piercing. ]

[selfmoves]

[Yeah, don't mention that. Billy's already like 99% against the idea of piercing via magic, no need to bump him over that one last percentage.]

Still means he's not totally safe to be around, doesn't it?

[maximoff_girl]

If he's not safe to be around then neither am I. ... Neither is Billy. Neither are most mutants. [She is VERY CONCERNED with this "Xavier-Human-y" language coming out of him.]

[selfmoves]

That's different. We're new to this. He's been using his since he was a kid. And he's got some serious history of these "accidents", especially in my world.

[maximoff_girl]

... Well. He'd never hurt his family. [She's not saying whoever he hurt probably deserved it. Or that the ends justify the means. She's totally not saying it. She is, however, thinking it very very hard.]

.. of which you are a part. [That's a GOOD thing.]

[selfmoves]

Then why was Pietro so distrustful? Sounds like he had good reason to be.

[maximoff_girl]

Pietro distrusts everyone. ... You'd know more about that than me. He always says it's part of being a speedster.

[selfmoves]

Pretty sure that has more to do with life experiences than life speed.

[Like. As little as he knows about Tommy's life experiences? They're kind of shitty. And he knows enough about Pietro to recognize that they had a rough time of it, too.]

[maximoff_girl]

Mmm... That's not what he says. [Of course, Pietro is the biggest liar she knows. Every other word out of his mouth is a lie, and she knows that. It's just-- determining where the lies start.]

Regardless. Father only ever acts in our best interest. I've never seen him do anything that wasn't for our benefit. [Her speech is a lot less hesitant when it comes to talkin' about Mags. Go figure.]

[selfmoves]

....You... trust him a lot.

[It's so disconcerting. And so very, very different from what he's known of his world to be true.]

[maximoff_girl]

Of course. He's the smartest, most well meaning person I know. [BRAIN. WASHED.] ... Sure he can be-- harsh sometimes, but that's just because he understands more of what's going on. He has a plan. [So very, very brainwashed.]

[selfmoves]

[Holy crap. That is... mind-blowingly wrong. On so many levels. He's not even thinking about acting like Tommy now- this is too crucial for a prank.]

Harsh... how, if you don't mind me asking?

[maximoff_girl]

Oh. You know. ... He's very strict about-- training. It's imperative that I be in control of my powers, for everyone's sake, so he drives me hard to master them. He... also threw me off a-- cliff once. But that was when I was working with the X-men. [She shakes her head. That entire period of her life is very... unpleasant to think about. It makes her head hurt.] He also threw a plane at me, but he was possessed by Apocalypse, then, so I don't think that counts.