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[Action / Voice] House of M Follow-Up
[So... he's probably delayed this long enough, even if a part of him would love to delay it indefinitely. Not only is it a month overdue, but now that he's home again and fully recovered from whatever had been affecting his mind, putting it off any further will just make things more difficult. Frightened as he is of the consequences, he won't get anywhere if he keeps hiding. It's time to apologize for the damage his spell caused, and make things right... if he can.
First, Billy seeks out those he knows personally, friends or acquaintances whom he remembers being affected or involved. Whether they're people he hasn't spoken to since the spell was in place, or people who visited him while he was possessed and halfway out of his mind, he'll try to be as thorough as possible. Teddy accompanies him from place to place, bless him, and they can be found walking hand-in-hand through the village and talking quietly, though Billy will be speaking with the people he's looking for on his own. Teddy's there for moral support, nothing more; the rest is his responsibility.
After those visits, presumably the hard part is over, but there's one thing left to do - reach out to those he couldn't find, missed, or simply doesn't know, as well as the general populace who'd probably noticed strange things going on at the time. They deserve to know about... well. To put it bluntly, the menace to society that he can be. Not that he'd give that reason out loud. Certain people would take issue with it.
They'd be wrong, but.
This time, he uses the journal network, his voice tentative, worried, and sick with guilt, and it happens later in the evening:]
...Hey... it's Billy. Um, Kaplan. I'm kind of a witch. You might not know me. Sorry if you do. ...Last month, October 1st, I was sent back from a Malnosso abduction... kind of a mess. I wasn't thinking straight, and... I cast a spell. It... it screwed with a lot of people. Badly. I don't know the full extent of the damage it caused, or how far it went, but- I do know that- people were hurt. And I know I might not be able to make things right again, either.
["Might". His hope for that one is still pretty pathetic; the forgiveness he's already received is something of a miracle to him. The day's meetings are still weighing on him, and there's an ache in his heart that refuses to go away.]
...Still. I- I need to apologize. Whether or not the Malnosso were the cause, it's still my fault. S-so I'm sorry. I'm sorry... I'm so...
[....]
...I'm... not going to use magic anymore. I'm done. I'm no good. At it. I mean. I- sorry. ...This won't happen again. And if you want to yell at me, or get a better explanation of what happened, or... whatever you need, I'll... be here.
Thanks. For hearing me out.
[And... that's that.]
First, Billy seeks out those he knows personally, friends or acquaintances whom he remembers being affected or involved. Whether they're people he hasn't spoken to since the spell was in place, or people who visited him while he was possessed and halfway out of his mind, he'll try to be as thorough as possible. Teddy accompanies him from place to place, bless him, and they can be found walking hand-in-hand through the village and talking quietly, though Billy will be speaking with the people he's looking for on his own. Teddy's there for moral support, nothing more; the rest is his responsibility.
After those visits, presumably the hard part is over, but there's one thing left to do - reach out to those he couldn't find, missed, or simply doesn't know, as well as the general populace who'd probably noticed strange things going on at the time. They deserve to know about... well. To put it bluntly, the menace to society that he can be. Not that he'd give that reason out loud. Certain people would take issue with it.
They'd be wrong, but.
This time, he uses the journal network, his voice tentative, worried, and sick with guilt, and it happens later in the evening:]
...Hey... it's Billy. Um, Kaplan. I'm kind of a witch. You might not know me. Sorry if you do. ...Last month, October 1st, I was sent back from a Malnosso abduction... kind of a mess. I wasn't thinking straight, and... I cast a spell. It... it screwed with a lot of people. Badly. I don't know the full extent of the damage it caused, or how far it went, but- I do know that- people were hurt. And I know I might not be able to make things right again, either.
["Might". His hope for that one is still pretty pathetic; the forgiveness he's already received is something of a miracle to him. The day's meetings are still weighing on him, and there's an ache in his heart that refuses to go away.]
...Still. I- I need to apologize. Whether or not the Malnosso were the cause, it's still my fault. S-so I'm sorry. I'm sorry... I'm so...
[....]
...I'm... not going to use magic anymore. I'm done. I'm no good. At it. I mean. I- sorry. ...This won't happen again. And if you want to yell at me, or get a better explanation of what happened, or... whatever you need, I'll... be here.
Thanks. For hearing me out.
[And... that's that.]
[ action ]
He knows the reason, though. The real reason this all happened.]
...They were hurting Teddy.
[Most of what had happened after he'd been... altered... is still unclear, but he remembers that. Bad memories on top of bad memories and the weight of them is crushing him. His gaze lifts the slightest bit, brows furrowing, lips tightening, but he still won't look at them.]
They were hurting him, and- and they put something in me, in my head, and- I watched... I watched them cut his wings off. I thought he was dead. [His voice cracks and he fights, fights to control it, because they'd wanted the truth, hadn't they?] He... was dead... and they just... sent me back.
[He looks up just a little more, at them for just a moment before his focus drops again.]
That's... why I cast the spell.
[It's not about him. Or them. It never was, really. That's the crux of it, the part that he isn't sure makes it better or worse. It was all for Teddy, and it almost killed Teddy, when Billy had thought he'd been dead all along. How does a person even get that screwed up?
"With great power comes great responsibility"? Ha.
"Absolute power corrupts absolutely". That's the quote they should be giving kids growing up. Kids like me.
It wasn't mine...
But that's not good enough, either.]
[ action ]
But that still doesn't make it okay.
He unclenches his jaw. ]
Before you were taken - Loki told me you were experimenting with magic you shouldn't have. Is this true?
[ Would everything be different if Billy hadn't done that in the first place? Or if Tony had been able to confront him about it? ]
[ action ]
But for Loki to have gone to Tony about it, to tell him that... and Loki wouldn't have known if they hadn't been meeting to talk about magic, so the lessons must have come to light, too...
He feels like his whole life here is unraveling right before his eyes, one strand at a time.]
...Yes... and no. It was the spell I cast to get you and Jane out of the portal, before. I wanted to try it again. Loki thought I wasn't ready for it. We... fought about it, and then I did try it anyway. And then we fought again when I told him. But the spell itself was fine, and that was a week before...
[He trails off, his eyes widening as it sinks in. A week. A single week between casting that spell, fighting with Loki, defying the advice of his own teacher, and the abduction he and Teddy had experienced. Is that why? Is that how it all started? Is that his fault too?
Oh god...]
[ action ]
And people wonder why Tony hates magic. ]
What a mighty fine coincidence. [ But of course, he doesn't find it amusing at all. ] You just happened to ruin our lives after messing with something we didn't even understand as scientists.
[ He's mad. Oh, he's mad, but behind his words is the deep-seeded sound of hurt. ]
Re: [ action ]
Time. It's the answer she came up with in the art gallery, and it still holds true now. They all need time, and nothing makes that more clear than what Tony says next. As it so often does his hurt comes out as anger, and Pepper shakes her head as she tightens her grip on Tony's hand.]
Tony. [Billy's actions weren't malicious, even if they'd led to horrible places. He's lashing out, but for what cause? Billy feels guilty enough. Pepper's seen it so clearly, in how he's forced out his apologies and the shock when she forbade him from the house. There's a difference between what is necessary and what is cruel, and Tony's words won't solve anything. They won't ease his pain, or convince Billy of anything he hasn't already learned.
There's no good end to this. Not now, and Pepper looks back at Billy with clear regret in her eyes.] I think it's time for you to leave.
[ action ]
This isn't what I wanted. But he can't say that, either. It had all gone horribly wrong, and intentions meant nothing, now. He'd only been trying to help. To get stronger. He'd saved lives with that first spell, saved Tony and Jane, both. Pulled them out of nowhere. It was supposed to be more than fine. Perfecting that spell should have been a good thing.
If it's what caused this, the kidnapping, that power the Malnosso had forced into him, the faked murder, the spell he'd cast... then it's just one more good thing in his life that's been taken away.
Dammit. Dammit.
He takes the anger in silence, ready to hear and accept it all- the wrath of a friend his magic - he - had betrayed. He wonders what might have been said if Pepper hadn't stopped it, and he's tempted to stay just give Tony a chance to continue. If it's what he needs, if it'll make him feel better, if it-
....
He can't, though. He knows he can't. Hearing more of that will just break him, and he's already heard enough today. He thought he could handle it, handle it all, but... he was wrong. And really- what had he expected? Hugs and crying and forgiveness and we'll get over it? No. He'd done this to give them the truth, to give them a chance to decide, full disclosure, whether or not to be associated with him anymore. Now he has his answer, and that's what he'll have to live with.
He takes a step back, then another, nodding helplessly, his eyes blurred by tears.]
I'm sorry... I'm sorry--
[It's all he can get out, all he even tries to say. It's time to leave, just like she said. He twists, half-stumbles, and rushes for the stairs. Teddy's outside. Teddy's waiting for him. He needs to get out.
And after this? After what he did? He doesn't think he'll ever be coming back here again.]
[ action ]
It isn't until the silence has had a chance to soak into his bones he even realizes he's trembling.
Fanboys are few and far between around here. I've got to keep the ones that I've got.
Ha. Ha, like hell. Like hell -
He turns to face Pepper, silently guiding her into his arms to hold himself together. ]
Re: [ action ]
But she is numb, emotion forced aside because she can't deal with any of it right now. She can't think about the consequences of every word each of them has said, from Billy's guilt to Tony's anger, to her own quiet rebuke of the boy's longstanding invitation. She just can't.
Maybe she's not numb, but tired.
Either way, it's easy to go when Tony draws her in, her arms sliding around his shoulders. She can feel the way he trembles, so she holds him tightly to her, offering the one reassurance she can after all of this.]
I've got you. I'm here. [It's all they have. It's all they ever seem to have, in the end.]
[ action ]
Maybe she's the only person he really can trust.
He presses his face against her neck and breathes deeply. ]
Re: [ action ]
She's right there for him to cling to--although even that isn't as reliable as she wishes it could be.
Still, he doesn't speak of his absolute trust aloud, leaving Pepper unaware of how close they were to that dangerous line of truth. Instead she simply holds him, and listens to Tony breathe.]
[ action ]
It would be ironic if thinking about it didn't make him sick.
He takes a step back to meet Pepper's eyes. ]
Better take the rest of the day off, don't you think?
Re: [ action ]
The problem lies in the thoughts she knows are still echoing in his head, just as they ring through hers.]
Already on it. Your schedule's been cleared for the day. [Yes, it's been ages since Pepper's managed Tony's time in a professional capacity. But it's a safe joke under the circumstances. Also still true; she knew when she left the gallery early that she wouldn't be heading back.]
[ action ]
I can always count on you, Mrs. Potts-Stark.
[ And as long as he had that - well. They already decided they would make it through this, didn't they? He had to remember that more than ever now.
We're gonna be okay.
Eventually. Someday. ]