selfhelp | [Action / Voice] House of M Follow-Up

Entry tags:

[Action / Voice] House of M Follow-Up

[So... he's probably delayed this long enough, even if a part of him would love to delay it indefinitely. Not only is it a month overdue, but now that he's home again and fully recovered from whatever had been affecting his mind, putting it off any further will just make things more difficult. Frightened as he is of the consequences, he won't get anywhere if he keeps hiding. It's time to apologize for the damage his spell caused, and make things right... if he can.

First, Billy seeks out those he knows personally, friends or acquaintances whom he remembers being affected or involved. Whether they're people he hasn't spoken to since the spell was in place, or people who visited him while he was possessed and halfway out of his mind, he'll try to be as thorough as possible. Teddy accompanies him from place to place, bless him, and they can be found walking hand-in-hand through the village and talking quietly, though Billy will be speaking with the people he's looking for on his own. Teddy's there for moral support, nothing more; the rest is his responsibility.

After those visits, presumably the hard part is over, but there's one thing left to do - reach out to those he couldn't find, missed, or simply doesn't know, as well as the general populace who'd probably noticed strange things going on at the time. They deserve to know about... well. To put it bluntly, the menace to society that he can be. Not that he'd give that reason out loud. Certain people would take issue with it.

They'd be wrong, but.

This time, he uses the journal network, his voice tentative, worried, and sick with guilt, and it happens later in the evening:]

...Hey... it's Billy. Um, Kaplan. I'm kind of a witch. You might not know me. Sorry if you do. ...Last month, October 1st, I was sent back from a Malnosso abduction... kind of a mess. I wasn't thinking straight, and... I cast a spell. It... it screwed with a lot of people. Badly. I don't know the full extent of the damage it caused, or how far it went, but- I do know that- people were hurt. And I know I might not be able to make things right again, either.

["Might". His hope for that one is still pretty pathetic; the forgiveness he's already received is something of a miracle to him. The day's meetings are still weighing on him, and there's an ache in his heart that refuses to go away.]

...Still. I- I need to apologize. Whether or not the Malnosso were the cause, it's still my fault. S-so I'm sorry. I'm sorry... I'm so...

[....]

...I'm... not going to use magic anymore. I'm done. I'm no good. At it. I mean. I- sorry. ...This won't happen again. And if you want to yell at me, or get a better explanation of what happened, or... whatever you need, I'll... be here.

Thanks. For hearing me out.

[And... that's that.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Her room is still pretty sparsely decorated, in comparison to some, but she has managed to gather more furnishings than she had when she first arrived. Among her new belongings is a collection of crystals and shiny rocks she's taken to displaying on an dresser. Moving to stand next to it, she picks up one of the rocks, and fidgets with it.]

... I had to be sure you were safe. I know-- you had Teddy watching after you. But. I worried anyway.

[She glances at him. She still DOES have lots of questions. Is that what this visit is for? To get some of those out of the way?]

...Thanks for that, too, then.

[And now he feels even worse about how little he valued his own life at the time - even now, he's only marginally better, but he figures that one step up is better than none.

He casts a glance around the room, taking note of the changes - it's good, that the place is looking more lived-in now - and finally makes himself relax a bit. It's okay. He's okay with her. He won't have to be... so on edge.]

...Anyway, I... figured I'd check on you. Let you know that I'm okay now... that I'm me again. And offer to... answer any questions you might have about what happened, or me, or... us.

[Anything. Anything at all.]

[Offer. What a generous word that is. Letting Wanda ask her questions without cornering him or feeling like she's dragging things out of him forcibly. She nods, accepting this, though not quite meeting his gaze just yet. She gestures to some cushions she's placed on the floor for meditative purposes, as if to offer Billy a seat, while sitting on on her self, still fidgeting with the rock.]

I-- don't know if I have a million questions or just a handful. It seems like both. ...

[The pause stretches out a little as she tries to organize her words, as if she hasn't been having this conversation in her head every day since she found out.]

... You... and Tommy... are my children. For real. In your world. ... Whooo... I mean-- your father-- [Might as well get the most horrifyingly embarrassing one out of the way first.]

[Billy goes ahead and sits down without hesitation this time, curling up cross-legged beside her. Her question isn't entirely unexpected, but it's still quite the intense one, so he takes a moment to mull it over.]

I don't mind answering, or... at least telling you what I know, but... it's complicated. And is that really something you want to know?

[He'd hate to say it either ruin any chance of surprise later or getting in the way of other relationships she might be interested in, if any. As weird as that is to even consider...]

[And now it's Wanda's turn to consider. Complicated? That does not sound like a good word. None of what he just said sounds good, actually. That's worrisome.]

I just. ... I never... I never thought that I would-- have children. Of my own. That was never even... Not even on the table. Not! Not that I wouldn't want you! [She back peddles slightly.] I just--

[She sighs, heavily. He is offering to be truthful and honest with her. The least she can do is do the same with him. Even if it uncomfortable or embarrassing. She's the one who brought it up, after all.] I didn't ever think-- there could be a man who could-- love me.

[...Oh.

Oh, god. That's...

Billy is quiet for a moment, wincing. He can certainly sympathize with that feeling; he'd felt it plenty of times, before meeting Teddy. Like mother, like son, indeed.]

...Wanda, believe me... it isn't just my... father. Believe me when I say that in my universe, you're loved by a lot of people, in one way or another. And I'm sure that can be true in any universe.

[She nods, eyes trained on him from under her lashes. She's loved by her father and her brother, she knows. But it is her foolish desire to have some sort of a non-familial love that causes her more distraction than she cares to admit to.]

... so... you say it's complicated. ... but. ... We're-- happy? With one another? At least? I like him and he likes me and-- you were stolen, but you're safe and-- it's all... ok? Generally speaking?

[Wanda wants a happy family. That's all she really wants. Is to know that they're happy, from time to time. The LACK of a father in Billy's perfect world, plus his 'complicated' answer have her fearing some rather unpleasant ideas, such as one-night-stands or worse. ]

[...Ah...]

...It... was. For a while. You were married, you had a home, you had us... but... when we were taken, it...

[Everything went wrong. He doesn't know the full story, but he knows it didn't end well for anyone.]

...He died. And you- she- our Wanda, she... went missing.

[God, but he wishes he had a happy ending to share with her. She deserves it. But he's also done with lying to her.]

[Well. That's horrible. She gives him a wide-eyed look of shock. Not that he would say such things. He's just saying the truth. But that it happened.]

Oh. ... Oh. ... I'm-- I'm so sorry.

[She stops fidgeting with the rock, setting it down in favor of reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder. She knows how hard it was when her Father went "missing." And someone she loved died? The father of her children? ]

That's awful. I don't... I'm so sorry.

[She doesn't quite feel the loss for herself, though it's spooky knowing these things happened to some version of herself. She does, however, feel a great deal of empathy for Billy.]

[He manages a smile, reaching up to set his hand over hers, grateful but not particularly sad anymore. The tragedy for him was sharing her alternate's unfortunate future, not that it had happened to him.]

It's okay. I mean- it's not, it's terrible, but... for me. It doesn't really affect me. I don't remember him... I don't remember anything about that time. Either I was too young, or it was a side effect of being taken away. Until recently I didn't even know his name.

Was... he a good man? [She can't help but ask. And maybe it would be better to think of the positives, more than the negatives. ... Right?] Someone-- you could be proud of?

[That makes him smile. His family - the extra one he didn't know he had before - is ripe with dark history and villainy and evil-to-good-to-evil turn-arounds, so much that it makes his head spin to think about it. But his parents? There's no denying that... even with how things ended, they earned the right to be called Avengers. And they should be remembered that way.]

...yeah... he definitely was. He was an Avenger- a super hero. He helped save the world.

[Smiles are good. Especially the genuine kind. She returns the smile, his words making her feel better, even if that wasn't the intent.]

Wow. ... That's-- good. [She gives a little laugh at how understated that is.] Great, even. ...

[She lapses into silence again, with drawing her hand and picking up the crystal. That's some questions down. The answers aren't all happy, but they feel true, and that matters more to her. Truth is important.

Which reminds her of her other big question.]

... Why didn't you tell me-- who you were?

[...Ah. His smile fades, and he shifts uncomfortably, hands clasping together in his lap. He had been lying for an awfully long time, after all... no wonder she wanted to know.]

I... didn't know how you'd react. If you'd be upset, or if it would freak you out, or... if you'd be too uncomfortable to be around me. I mean, I can't imagine how I'd feel if someone my own age came up to me and told me they were my kid. I guess I was scared that you... wouldn't want me.

[It sounds so dumb, now that he's said it- and now that she's so readily accepted him, not necessarily as her son but at least as family. He'd been worried for nothing.]

[She shakes her head, lightly, the beginnings of a frown pulling at her brow. She's not angry, just maybe a little upset.]

I'm... I'm still trying to figure it out, honestly. ... Your spell certainly didn't hurt, to show what a-- natural fit it is. But ever since I got here I-- I've wanted my family, and -- I just feel so stupid now. Everything I've said to you that you must already know! ... And-- ... I don't know. I understand what you were afraid of. But-- that was never something you had to be afraid of with me.

[Never, Wanda? What about how angry you were with him during/after Luceti Valley? She puts her fingers to her temples rubbing, as if to erase that thought.] Hnng. Mostly never.

...Sorry. [His voice is quiet, a little ashamed, but at the same time, not; even now, he's not sure he made the wrong choice. He doesn't regret that the truth came out, though. It just worked out a lot better than he'd ever imagined.] I guess it just... was easier to keep up the lie, than to risk telling you and losing everything. But I should have trusted you.

... Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one in our family who doesn't know how to lie. [It is surprisingly perceptive of her to say this. It means, on some level, she recognizes that her father is less than honest. She's not thinking about the deeper implications at this moment, though. ]

... Does Teddy know?

[Billy nods.]

Yeah. He was there when I found out, actually.

So... he's been lying to me, too. ... Kate? As well? Tommy, certainly. ...How many people-- [She pinches the bridge of her nose, shaking her head.] I... just feel so stupid. [It's one thing to actively know you're not that clever. It's quite another to have this new network of people you've been gathering all have some huge secret that any halfway intuitive individual would have figured out long ago.]

... Should I not say anything? Do you not want people to know?

[Oh geez. Oh hell-]

No, I- ...it's my fault. I asked them... to keep it a secret. I thought we'd all be better off... but not everyone agreed. I know I... shouldn't have done that. But I didn't know what else to do. You're not stupid, who would have expected you to guess this?

I know, I know... Ughh, it's this-- this stupid place! [Her hex aura lights up as she finally lets herself get a little angry.] None of us should have to deal with this-- Jerking us out of our worlds, it's not fair!

[He closes his eyes at the sudden light, shrinking away a little, though he tries to stop himself.]

Please, don't...

[Wanda looks at him, confused, still angry, still flickering with hex magic.] Don't--? Don't what?

...Don't... use magic. If- if you can avoid it. I...

[He can't handle it right now. What once was wonderful and warm is now terrifying and oppressive; he'd been so consumed by magic all last month that he'd nearly drowned in it.]

[Wanda's head pops back, almost as if she were slapped. Eyes wide, her mouth opens as if to speak but she says nothing.]

"D-don't..." [She repeats him, in shock, before looking at herself. The magic running over her is as clear as the nose on her face, and she looks back at him, almost in desperation.]

I--

[Unable to finish that, not even sure how she would if she wanted to, Wanda silences herself, and closes her eyes, drawing in a deep breath through the nose, trying to center herself, trying to not feel cut by his words.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject