selfhelp | [Action, July 11th-13th]

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[Action, July 11th-13th]

[To say that Billy is a bit of a basket case right now would be a severe understatement. His mom is here. His admittedly teenage and therefore doesn't-know-who-he-is-and-kind-of-alternate-universe mom, yes, but that doesn't seem to make the intensity of his feelings about the matter any different. One small comfort is that they're getting along (so far), and their shared powers gives them common ground, but there's still that lingering... risk that he can't stop thinking about. That he won't be able to keep his secrets, that eventually everything will come crumbling down. He's terrified of that.

The first day, he does little else but fret and mull over it, after separating from Wanda; Teddy's kind enough to cancel any of his daily doings, since he's in no state to be pretending like everything's normal. It had been hard enough with Wanda the first time. Today, though, he feels much better. His head is more clear, he's found his center of calm, and he spent at least half the day and night before meditating so he figures he has a firm grasp on his sanity again.

There are certain things that he knows he needs to do, especially since he ditched all his usual priorities the day before, so he's made himself a list, and today he's going through it all. It is as follows: He swing by the art gallery and removes some of his work, namely anything that features the Scarlet Witch (only a couple of pieces, mind you, and they're his, but art theft is still art theft). He attends training with Logan and begs for forgiveness about skipping the day before (beg may be an overstatement of what actually happens because he isn't really sorry at all). He'll attend X-Men Training and try to perform decently despite feeling ridiculously scatterbrained. And finally, he'll probably talk to some Very Important People in the process of completing the rest of his list.

In the end, well... he's decided to track down Wanda again, maybe not now, but some time in the near future. Because despite his fears and misgivings, despite everything he's likely to say to everyone else - that it's a bad idea, that he'll mess things up, that he'll accidentally reveal himself - the temptation of sharing his powers with hers, teaching her, helping her, is too strong to resist. This is about more than a lost family, now. This is about magic.]

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[ A project so basic requires hardly all of his focus, so even though his thoughts are wandering, he notices as soon as the music volume lowers. Tony glances up from the bench, finding not the person he usually does standing by the stereo.

He didn't show up yesterday - with a pardon from Teddy, and it only made Tony slightly fidgety. Billy wouldn't have cancelled without a good reason. Which made him worry, too.

...Of course, the first thing out of his mouth is: ]

You're about twenty-four hours late.

[Billy frowns, and doesn't rise to the quip; he wants to, but he really just isn't in the mood. Even though he's pretty certain that Tony wasn't serious, he is, and he just... can't do joking right now.

He has a feeling this is going to be a very strange meeting, indeed.]

Teddy told you I wouldn't be here, right? So it's a reschedule.

[And then, belatedly, since he knows it was wrong and kind of cowardly to cancel in the first place-]

Sorry. For doing that.

[ ...Yeah, something's happened. ]

I'll just deduct it from your paycheck. [ An appraising look. ] Of the two of us, I'm not sure I'm the one who needs to talk right now, though.

[Billy pauses for a moment at that, then scuffs a hand through his hair, visibly uneasy.]

Yeah, um... about that. I was wondering if I could ask you about something, but... I guess it's kind of personal, so you can just say no if you don't want to talk about it.

[ He was already telling Billy all about his personal demons. How much more personal could it get? ]

Try me.

[Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to?]

...While your dad was here... you told him the truth, didn't you? About you being related?

[ ...That was unexpected. Completely unexpected. But Tony was distanced enough from Howard's stay in Luceti that the topic only made him slightly edgy. He wants to know what brought this on, but he'll answer the question first. ]

He found out on his own, actually. Not really my proudest moment. He only had an inkling of the truth for months before that.

[ And he found out from a library book. Not Tony's proudest moment indeed. ]

[...Huh. Somehow that... makes it easier, actually. To know that Tony had gone the very route he's already taking, the one he's seriously considering rolling with for the duration of his - and Wanda's, depending on who's here the longest - stay in this place.]

If you could go back and do it differently, tell him yourself... would you? Or would you keep it a secret again?

[Maybe it would be easier to say it. Or... maybe that made things worse.

It's so hard to decide.]

[ Tony mulls that over. When Howard had shown up, Tony had almost blurted out the truth the moment they met in person so it would stop picking at the back of his mind. But he hadn't, and while it had been nice to pretend to be something they weren't for the months that they did, when the proverbial shit hit the fan, he wish he had told him that first day. If only to save his skin in the future. But it was more than just that. Part of him knew Howard deserved the truth, because decades younger or not, Tony knew his dad. Neither Stark was keen on having the truth kept from him. ]

...I'd like to say I would tell him sooner. [ He sighs inwardly. ] But the thing is - there were a dozen ways I could've handled that. The jury's still out on which one was best. [ And unless Howard returned, he was fairly certain he'd never have an answer he was satisfied with.

He gives Billy an appraising look. ] Coffee? [ There's a lot more here than he's getting right now. ]

[It's about as good an answer as he'd expected, to be honest. With this sort of thing, it's never as cut and dry as he'd like it to be.

The offer for coffee is a welcome shift in topic, even if it's as temporary as he assumes it to be, so he nods his head, chewing nervously on his lower lip. He still has no idea how to approach this, and he feels badly about encroaching on Tony's therapy time after making a commitment to it, but god. Today's apparently going to be about a bit of give and take.]

There's still a pot in the kitchen.

[ Or, at least, he thinks so. He stands, tools abandoned on the table as he heads for the stairs. He always found it easier to talk when he had a cup of coffee to sip on. Maybe that would work for Billy, too. ]

Mm.

[Another nod, and Billy follows after Tony, going immediately to the pot to check that it's still warm, then pouring himself a cup. He lifts the pot towards Tony, brow lifting questioningly. He doesn't trust his voice to speak just yet, so he fills the void by taking the mug and helping himself to a sip instead. God, what does he even say?]

[ Tony pours himself a mug, loading the coffee with more sugar than necessary, as usual. He finds his perch on a barstool and leans against the counter, idly sipping from his cup before deciding where to start. ]]

So, what, one of your parents showed up? From a time before they know you exist?

[ He's never been good at subtlety. ]

[Honestly? It's probably a good thing. Billy's not in the mood to bring it up himself, so he'd probably have tried to dodge the issue for a while. As it is, he pauses, sips awkwardly at his coffee again, then finally nods.]

You remember how I said I was kind of adopted? And that my mom's an Avenger? The Scarlet Witch.

[ He did, vaguely. One piece of trivia he filed away until it became relevant. Well - apparently, now it was. ]

Her?

Yeah, her. My long-lost real mom is in Luceti now, and I can't tell her... because she's the same age as I am.

[Honestly, he could handle just an alternate reality version. It might be depressing, but at least she'd be an adult.]

You know - my dad was actually younger than me. [ Which was...hardly relevant, and beside the point, but he points it out anyway.

He taps his finger on the handle of his mug, a small, muted nervous tic. ]

Not a particularly thrilling club to be a part of, is it? I mean - at least dad was an adult. [ And even if he hadn't through about settling down and starting a family yet, at least he wasn't a teenager. ]

[Great minds think alike, apparently. He's not sure if that makes it better or worse.]

Yeah, no kidding. It's not just that, though.

She's not even from my version of Earth. She's from Rogue's.

[ Hn. That was tricky, then. At least Howard had been from the same version of Earth that Tony was - he could be certain that he was a part of Howard's future.

But in the case of alternate universes... ]

Do you know if you'll exist there?

[Billy considers it a moment, then simply shakes his head.]

Not unless the Avengers do, and as far as we know right now, they haven't formed. I mean- I don't think she'd try to have kids without the Vision...

[ Ouch. That's not a nice thought - realizing you might not exist in a particular universe where your parent does. ]

You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't. Gotta love when those are your options. [ He sips his coffee, contemplative. ] But there's an easy way to figure this out.

[Billy lifts a brow at that, his expression questioning. In his experience there's never an easy way for this kind of thing.]

What do you mean?

You have to ask yourself this question: are you going to regret it if she leaves without knowing?

[ He knows it's not that simple. It never is. But maybe that would give Billy a bit of guidance. It had for him, after all. ]

[...That... is a damn good question, actually. One that requires another pause for thought as Billy stares down at the coffee in his mug. Would he regret it? He can think of a few pros and cons for choosing one or the other. As for how he feels, though... hrngh. Harder to say.]

I'm not... really sure, yet. Maybe. Probably, at least in part. But it isn't just about me. It's her, too- I don't want to freak her out. Wanda isn't...

[He frowns, not liking to say it aloud- it's acknowledging more than he wants to, something he's been dodging and trying to avoid thinking about, but something he knows is undeniably true.]

...She's not... always stable. And her magic isn't as controlled as mine is. I don't know what's different, or if she hasn't been taught properly, or what, but...

[He pauses again, then curses quietly, looking away as if trying to hide his frustration.]

I don't want to cause problems or make it worse for her, just so I can feel better about all this.

[ Wanda. He notes the name, in case he meets her later. Instability was hardly something Tony was unfamiliar with, but that dynamic hadn't been a problem with him and Howard. He didn't have to worry about one of them losing control depending on how the truth was handled. This was delicate, and for a moment, Tony thought about opting out of advice at all. He was still barely stable himself.

But Billy needed this, and there were few people around who would relate to what he was going through, even partially. So Tony took a deep breath and spoke. ]

When my dad found out the truth, he flipped his shit. Probably - rightfully so. He was made at me, and everyone else I had sworn to secrecy, and he ran off on a mission for a few weeks. Needless to say - he took it badly.

[ He leans forward intently. ]

Let's picture you six months down the road. Mom finds out the truth - the proverbial rug is pulled out from underneath her feet, one way or another. What's she going to handle better - finding out now before everything impossible about this place settles in, or then, when she finds out people have been keeping the truth from her all along?

Edited 2013-07-16 04:15 (UTC)

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