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[Action, July 11th-13th]
[To say that Billy is a bit of a basket case right now would be a severe understatement. His mom is here. His admittedly teenage and therefore doesn't-know-who-he-is-and-kind-of-alternate-universe mom, yes, but that doesn't seem to make the intensity of his feelings about the matter any different. One small comfort is that they're getting along (so far), and their shared powers gives them common ground, but there's still that lingering... risk that he can't stop thinking about. That he won't be able to keep his secrets, that eventually everything will come crumbling down. He's terrified of that.
The first day, he does little else but fret and mull over it, after separating from Wanda; Teddy's kind enough to cancel any of his daily doings, since he's in no state to be pretending like everything's normal. It had been hard enough with Wanda the first time. Today, though, he feels much better. His head is more clear, he's found his center of calm, and he spent at least half the day and night before meditating so he figures he has a firm grasp on his sanity again.
There are certain things that he knows he needs to do, especially since he ditched all his usual priorities the day before, so he's made himself a list, and today he's going through it all. It is as follows: He swing by the art gallery and removes some of his work, namely anything that features the Scarlet Witch (only a couple of pieces, mind you, and they're his, but art theft is still art theft). He attends training with Logan and begs for forgiveness about skipping the day before (beg may be an overstatement of what actually happens because he isn't really sorry at all). He'll attend X-Men Training and try to perform decently despite feeling ridiculously scatterbrained. And finally, he'll probably talk to some Very Important People in the process of completing the rest of his list.
In the end, well... he's decided to track down Wanda again, maybe not now, but some time in the near future. Because despite his fears and misgivings, despite everything he's likely to say to everyone else - that it's a bad idea, that he'll mess things up, that he'll accidentally reveal himself - the temptation of sharing his powers with hers, teaching her, helping her, is too strong to resist. This is about more than a lost family, now. This is about magic.]
The first day, he does little else but fret and mull over it, after separating from Wanda; Teddy's kind enough to cancel any of his daily doings, since he's in no state to be pretending like everything's normal. It had been hard enough with Wanda the first time. Today, though, he feels much better. His head is more clear, he's found his center of calm, and he spent at least half the day and night before meditating so he figures he has a firm grasp on his sanity again.
There are certain things that he knows he needs to do, especially since he ditched all his usual priorities the day before, so he's made himself a list, and today he's going through it all. It is as follows: He swing by the art gallery and removes some of his work, namely anything that features the Scarlet Witch (only a couple of pieces, mind you, and they're his, but art theft is still art theft). He attends training with Logan and begs for forgiveness about skipping the day before (beg may be an overstatement of what actually happens because he isn't really sorry at all). He'll attend X-Men Training and try to perform decently despite feeling ridiculously scatterbrained. And finally, he'll probably talk to some Very Important People in the process of completing the rest of his list.
In the end, well... he's decided to track down Wanda again, maybe not now, but some time in the near future. Because despite his fears and misgivings, despite everything he's likely to say to everyone else - that it's a bad idea, that he'll mess things up, that he'll accidentally reveal himself - the temptation of sharing his powers with hers, teaching her, helping her, is too strong to resist. This is about more than a lost family, now. This is about magic.]
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You think she could do that even with the barrier limit? [ Just how much power were they talking here? ]
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[He frowns, then shakes his head.]
No, sorry. I don't think she can do that. I don't think she would, either. That isn't what I'm scared of.
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[ It's not the sort of question he likes to ask, but he's been answering it so much himself lately. ]
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[He glances down at his hands, as if they themselves could just manifest an answer for him the way they do with so many other things. It's kind of pathetic that a power based on wishes and willpower can't give him the things he wants the most.]
This Wanda... the one here... I don't mean anything to her. Not my name, or where I came from. Maybe we can be friends, maybe we can be family, I don't know. But it's not the same. And she doesn't have the answers I'm looking for, either.
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And he doesn't really have a good way to combat that. Tony got lucky that Howard gave him the choice of working something out or staying out of his life completely. He doesn't know Wanda at all, but a teenager probably wouldn't feel like they owed someone that responsibility. ]
Look - I won't tell you to get over it, because it sounds to me like your fear is pretty damn justified. I can't tell you the right answer. But speaking from experience? Just don't decide to do nothing.
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Not much, mind you. But a little.]
Isn't that the same thing as telling me to tell her?
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What if he tried and screwed it up? Messed with her memories too much accidentally and made it worse? He'd tried that spell initially out of desperation. Thinking he could do it. Now, knowing his limits and degree of control he actually possesses... not even getting into the moral issue of it...
It's just not an option.]
...I'll... I'll think about it, I guess. About telling her.
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Welcome to my life. Complexities on complexities. ...Thanks, though.
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[He has no idea if he's in any kind of mental state to do a proper meeting, but he'd be a terrible quasi-therapist-in-training if he didn't check on that of his solo patient's.]
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[ His life was rarely quiet, even in Luceti. He tries not to get caught up expecting the next new feather that arrives to be someone that will through his life off-kilter like Billy's. ]
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[Wow, is that ever not helpful.]
...Sorry. Have I mentioned my cynicism has ties to some deeply-rooted paranoia? Because I think it does.
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I don't think you're the only one. [ He definitely feels that way plenty himself. ]
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[He figures there'll be plenty of moments like this, though he hates that it's true; he's not a professional, so he lacks the ability to compartmentalize with... "patients". Which he doesn't like to say, because he's not a professional.
Still.]
Did you tell anyone else? Get a support system going at all?
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[Saying it to Tony makes him want to believe it for his own situation, as well. Even if it gets worse for a while, too.]
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I'll file that away, then.