selfhelp | [Voice/Action] Forward-dated to the afternoon of the 9th

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[Voice/Action] Forward-dated to the afternoon of the 9th

[He should have seen this coming- it's like it's some kind of retaliation for what he'd done on Teddy's birthday. He still manages to be surprised when Teddy shoos him out of the apartment some time after breakfast on the 9th, barely given time to grab his coat and stuff his laptop into a bag before he's been officially banished from his own home.

...Well then. Looks like he's in the wind today. First things first: while he isn't usually the type to announce this kind of thing, thanks to having the afternoon to himself (whereas usually his birthday is filled with doting parents and obnoxious little brothers vying for attention) he's feeling indulgent enough to go for it, and he remembers something in particular...]

Okay- first of all, question for everybody. Now that I know about that whole... Valentine's Day thing that's supposed to happen every year, does anyone know how to avoid it? Or should I just lock myself in my room for a few days and hope for the best?

And second, to the X-Men? If the team training is still on for today, it's probably safe to go ahead and assume I won't make it. I'm allowed to have plans on my birthday. But happy birthday to Logan whenever he gets back- 180 is a pretty big landmark, right?

[Hopefully he won't get killed for that one, but he just couldn't help himself. Even if the accuracy of that number is questionable.

The rest of the afternoon will be spent in the following ways: goofing off in the Battle Dome with some self-indulgent hologram scenarios blatantly ripped out of Star Trek, wasting time in Seventh Heaven with excessive amounts of coffee and his laptop like a proper teenage hipster, and then, when his battery's running dry, returning to building #5 to bully Teddy into feeding the laptop's power cord under the door, at which point he'll be curled up on the floor outside his apartment playing Minecraft or something while he waits for his boyfriend to finish... whatever he's doing in there.]

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[Billy's initial response is just a vague "hrmmm" sound, headphones on, barely attentive. He doesn't look up this time- the lava fall taught him a lesson in keeping his eyes on the screen.]

Hang on, I just found diamond.

Mmm.

[Well, time to lean his head against the door frame and watch what he's doing.

...

He still doesn't quite get what Billy sees in Minecraft - well, okay, he can see it. It's just not his thing, unless they're on Survival, or Billy's leading him somewhere. But as long as he's enjoying it, then Teddy likes it just fine.]

[It takes about thirty seconds of fiddling before Billy sighs quietly and exits the game, pulling his headphones down to rest around his neck and glancing up mournfully at his ever-patient boyfriend.]

My pickaxe fell in lava anyway.

[He's not bitter at all, noooope.]

[... Pfft. Teddy smiles in response to that, and he opens the door a little further to allow his shoulders to fit, letting him smooth his boyfriend's hair back.]

I really am sorry. You'll get it back soon; you've got a lot more patience with that than I do.

[He leans down to kiss his forehead, then moves back while giving Billy a pat on the shoulder.]

Now, shut that down and come in here.

It's okay, I promise I'm not traumatized by my unexpected demise.

[He's more interested in what's waiting for him inside, actually, so he shuts the laptop and tucks it under his arm, rising to his feet.]

So? Do I need to close my eyes? Count to ten? Follow a trail of rose petals to the bedroom?

[He's had a lot of time to wonder what Teddy's up to, okay.]

[He hangs on to the door for a moment, just to raise an eyebrow.]

Do you really take me for a rose petals kind of guy?

[... And he'd rather Billy not answer that, lest he get a yes, so he shakes his head.]

No, you don't need to do any of that. Just come in.

[With that, Teddy opens the door and steps back with it, so that Billy can see everything.

The reason why he took so long? The room looks almost like the opening stage setting for Wicked, barring things that were impossible to get. A large paper covers the far wall that shows a map of Oz, one that Teddy drew himself, and on the sides of it are columns, made of duct-taped broom handles and painted with a mix of dark green and black. Taped onto the columns are cogs painted the same color, though not many, seeing how they were a bit difficult to find. The light bulbs have been replaced with green ones, giving the room an atmospheric feel to match the decorations.

The dragon that comes with the setting is something he could not find, though he improvised by drawing a stylized dragon and hanging that on the ceiling. He could never draw a realistic dragon, or like the one from the play, but his own version, which is more like an interpretation? Definitely.

All in all, he was going for this, and while it's not perfect, it's easy to tell why it took the whole morning and afternoon to do.]

What's wrong with rose petals?

[His voice is still teasing, glancing at Teddy as they enter the room, but he trails off as the apartment comes into view. His jaw drops almost immediately, his gaze wandering across the entire scene, taking in each and every detail and growing more and more surprised with what he finds. He knew that Teddy was observant, but a) he can't believe Teddy actually paid attention to a musical and b) he can't believe he remembered all of this, and so obviously for him.

He can't even speak at first, still stunned by the scene, blindly reaching back with one hand to find Teddy's and giving it a squeeze.]

Oh my god, Teddy... how long did this take?

[His voice is half-breathless, unable to take his eyes off the set. All those details and the brooms and the paint and the map and that dragon and the lighting and oh god can he just keep the living room like this forever and ever and ever?]

A while.

[He smiles, feeling elation and relief bloom in his chest due to Billy's reactions, and he gives his hand a squeeze in return. Now that Billy's gotten a look at everything, Teddy steps up beside him, shoulders touching as he looks at the work he did.]

I'd work a little on it while you'd go out and do the things you do. I started it about... two weeks ago? And I finished it all while you were out today.

[Once he finishes his explanation, he looks at Billy, just to watch his expressions. God, Teddy might not be much for musicals (though Wicked was cool, and one of the few where he actually remembered the set), but Billy looks amazing like this, and he and musicals can get along if it means Billy can react like this.]

[Good god, two weeks. No wonder his room's been so off-limits lately. Billy didn't even think of it, with all the time they spent together in his own room. But all of this...

...god.]

You really are the best boyfriend ever, you know that?

[Billy finally tears his gaze away from the set to face Teddy properly, eyes bright, grinning like a fool. He uses their twined hands to tug Teddy in for an enthusiastic kiss, his free hand going around the blond's neck and staying there even as he pulls back again. He's got plenty of passion for musicals and no shortage of love for Teddy, so combining the two (on his birthday of all days) is sort of like magic all on its own.]

It's amazing. You're amazing. I can practically hear Idina Menzel already.

[Though he does have the real thing on his iPhone, admittedly.]

[Teddy return that kiss with just as much enthusiasm, and when they've pulled back, he strokes Billy's jawline with his free hand, a similar grin on his face, if only because he's genuinely happy. It's one thing to think of how someone will react, and another thing entirely to see it for yourself. And Billy's happiness is just contagious like that.]

This is just part one. You're going to have to sit down at the table for part two. [The table which now has a green tablecloth and silverware already set out.]

[Billy's gaze drifts to the table he hadn't noticed before, brows lifting a little, the smile never leaving his face. Very reluctantly he pulls away from Teddy, moving to sit down and rest his hands on his chin, elbows on the table to support his head as he focuses back on the set, his expression still a mixture of complete bliss and astonishment.

Really, he just can't believe his good luck. He does not deserve this perfect man, and yet he has him anyway. It's unfair to the rest of the population of New York (and everywhere else, for that matter).

And yet he really doesn't care. He's just happy he's the one who gets to bask in his own fortune.]

What's next, dinner theater?

Something like that.

[Teddy gives one last smile before he heads to the kitchen. It only takes a minute for him to return while carrying a cake with white icing, seventeen candles decorating the top. As he heads to the table, he grins, eyes bright thanks to the light of the candles.]

Ready for me to sing?

[Billy tries his best to shoot him a dry, "I am so too old for this nonsense" look, but the fact that his lips keep twitching like he's fighting off a smile probably breaks the effectiveness of it somewhat.]

Now it's musical dinner theater?

[An eyebrow raises in return, because Billy Kaplan you did the exact same thing for his birthday, and he was definitely too old for that nonsense. Still, he smiles, and he sets the cake down in front of Billy before moving behind him to wrap his arms around his neck and rest his chin on top of his head.]

Mmhmmm.

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday, dear Billy,
Happy birthday to you!

[A small pause, and then:]

And now,
You are seventeen going on eighteen,
I'll depend on you.

[Well, okay, he'll indulge a little. Technically you're never too old for the birthday song. He does blink at that last bit, though, tilting his head up to try and get a decent look at Teddy, albeit one at a weird angle.]

...Is it terrible that I'm now a little sad we don't match that song anymore?

[It was an admittedly shameless four months of quiet glee, okay.]

[Teddy tilts his head down to indulge Billy, lips quirked up with amusement. Really, he either expected this or some kind of pleasantly surprised reaction, both good in their own ways.]

That is terrible. You're going to be a wreck when we both turn eighteen, aren't you?

[He lowers his arms so that they hang more loosely, giving Billy proper room to blow out the candles.]

Candles time.

I'm gonna cry. Great big Alice-the-doorknob-drowning tears, you'll see.

[Still, he leans in to go ahead and blow the candles out, though he doesn't quite manage it all in one breath. It gets kind of tricky the higher you get.]

All right, Crocodile Tears Kaplan.

[He still tilts his head down a little further to press a kiss to Billy's hair once all the candles are blown out, then reaches out to grab the knife he brought with him, pulling it closer to his boyfriend.]

If you'd do the honors? I need to get something else. [He pulls back, too, though he won't leave until Billy cuts into the cake and sees what kind Teddy made for him.]

First things first- this is a Kaplan family tradition.

[He reaches down to pull a couple of the candles out of the cake, sticking them into his mouth to lick the icing off. As soon as he tastes it, though, he goes still, eyes widening.]

Cream cheese? Oh my god, you're kidding-

[He snags a few more candles, sucking absently on the ends and taking the knife to cut a piece now that a section's been cleared of wax. And- yep, just as he suspected. There's only one kind of cake he likes that goes perfectly with cream cheese icing.]

Carrot cake. Are you trying to slay me with awesome one step at a time, T?

[Yeah he might as well just admit defeat now- his face is going to seriously hurt from all this smiling before the day is over.]

Oh, yeah. I'm your new worst enemy, B.

[He shoots a teasing look over his shoulder as he walks away again, this time towards his own room. Once inside, he cleans a bit, seeing how his project cause something of a mess, and checks to make sure his present is perfect for the umpteenth time, and gives Billy plenty of time to eat his first slice of cake.

Once he returns, he holds a wrapped present in his hands, and he raises his eyebrows as he moves the free chair around to sit beside Billy.]

So, what did I score on the cake?

[By the time Teddy returns, Billy has not only licked every single candle clean, but also cut himself a hefty slice of cake, and is just polishing off the last couple of bites. He looks utterly smitten and thoroughly sated.

Teddy gets something of a dramatic response at first, as Billy lifts his fork, one last smear of icing twisted around the tip-]

"On a scale of one to ten, you are an eleven."

[And then, more seriously, right before he helps himself to the last bite-]

So that's what you were up to. You were gone so long I was about to go looking for you.

And pull yourself away from the cake? [He places his palm against his chest rather dramatically.] Billy... I'm touched.

[But he can't keep that up, so Teddy ends up chuckling and lowering his hand, then raising them both up to set the present on the table between himself and Billy. Judging by how he carefully sets it down, there must be something important inside.]

When you get the chance, go ahead and open this. Unless you think you won't survive another awesome assault.

After all this, I'm genuinely terrified for my life.

[More (really) genuine is his curiosity, though, so after a quick scrape of his fork to get the last of the icing off his plate, he pushes the cake and dishes aside to slide the box over to himself. Just what could be inside to make Teddy so interested in his reaction?

The answer is pretty damn obvious when he rips off the paper, opens the box, and stares.

A long moment of immobile silence follows, after which Billy calmly sets down the box. Calmly stands. Calmly walks around the table to where Teddy is sitting.

And then not-so-calmly flings himself at his boyfriend with quite possibly enough force to knock him (and the chair) right over.]

[Teddy was expecting a few things, yet this was not one of them. He's completely thrown for a loop when Billy stands up and goes to him, and ends up yelping in surprise when he's practically tackled by his boyfriend. If he'd been standing, it probably wouldn't have much effect, but with just the chair, both he and Billy tip right over and end up in an awkward pile on the floor.

But he still laughs, holding his boyfriend against him and looking down at him fondly. Yeah... He knew getting that was a good idea, even if it meant spending a few points that were saved for Tony and Jane's project.]

I take it this means you like it?

[He'd probably feel bad for knocking them over if Teddy didn't have a healing factor- or, more likely, if Teddy wasn't laughing. And even if the impact was awfully jarring, Billy still grins down at his boyfriend, arms braced on either side of his head.

If the sudden tackling wasn't enough of a hint about how he feels about the gift, the sudden attack of kisses over every facial feature that Billy can think to kiss is a pretty good one by itself.]

Probably- [Kiss-] A safe- [Kiss-] Assumption- [Kiss-] To make-

[KISS. And the grand finale is a much longer one, right on the lips, his hands shifting a little to twist in Teddy's hair.]

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