selfhelp | [Voice/Action] Forward-dated to the afternoon of the 9th

[He should have seen this coming- it's like it's some kind of retaliation for what he'd done on Teddy's birthday. He still manages to be surprised when Teddy shoos him out of the apartment some time after breakfast on the 9th, barely given time to grab his coat and stuff his laptop into a bag before he's been officially banished from his own home.

...Well then. Looks like he's in the wind today. First things first: while he isn't usually the type to announce this kind of thing, thanks to having the afternoon to himself (whereas usually his birthday is filled with doting parents and obnoxious little brothers vying for attention) he's feeling indulgent enough to go for it, and he remembers something in particular...]

Okay- first of all, question for everybody. Now that I know about that whole... Valentine's Day thing that's supposed to happen every year, does anyone know how to avoid it? Or should I just lock myself in my room for a few days and hope for the best?

And second, to the X-Men? If the team training is still on for today, it's probably safe to go ahead and assume I won't make it. I'm allowed to have plans on my birthday. But happy birthday to Logan whenever he gets back- 180 is a pretty big landmark, right?

[Hopefully he won't get killed for that one, but he just couldn't help himself. Even if the accuracy of that number is questionable.

The rest of the afternoon will be spent in the following ways: goofing off in the Battle Dome with some self-indulgent hologram scenarios blatantly ripped out of Star Trek, wasting time in Seventh Heaven with excessive amounts of coffee and his laptop like a proper teenage hipster, and then, when his battery's running dry, returning to building #5 to bully Teddy into feeding the laptop's power cord under the door, at which point he'll be curled up on the floor outside his apartment playing Minecraft or something while he waits for his boyfriend to finish... whatever he's doing in there.]

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As far as I know, no.

But why would you wish to avoid such a romantic and exciting holiday as Valentine's? That is like being in the middle of the Season and wearing only drab browns and greys.

Happy birthday, Billy.

I've a gift for you when there's time to spare.

[It's not much longer now. Just a few finishing touches; everything has to be perfect, after all. Perhaps it's his tendency to be over analytical with such things, or maybe it's just that Billy's surprise for his birthday was so well done that he wanted to match it. Whatever the case, Teddy wants to make sure it's a special day for him.

Just to let him know, he jots down a little message on one of his post-it notes, then slides it under he door, where he knows his boyfriend is sitting patiently.

"Almost done - Five more minutes ♥"]

[Kurt bamfs around a bit immediately after hearing the message until he finally reaches Billy. Sure, it's his birthday. But the other part is what Kurt focuses on.]

Hey! No fair, man!

It's not that I mind the holiday, really! But I've heard some horror stories, and since I'm already seeing someone, I don't want whatever happens here to mess it up.

Seriously? I wasn't begging for presents or anything.

Oh, come now. A little misadventure is just what is needed to inject some passion into a relationship.

[Billy's in the middle of digging around in the tunnels of his game when he catches sight of the note under his door, and a few seconds after he glances over to read it, from the other side of the apartment entrance Teddy might hear three things: a sudden clatter of keys, a startled yelp, and a succession of "no, no, no, no, dammit!"

Finally, a resigned sigh.]

Happy Birthday, Billy.

I'm sorry I don't have anything for you. I didn't know. [And now 'finding Billy a gift' is at the top of his to-do list.]

[Billy's in the Battle Dome when Kurt finds him, in the middle of setting up one of the computers. He jumps at the sudden bamfing; he really will never get used to that.]

Wh- what? And can't you at least say hi?

I do believe it's traditional.

Uh. I really don't think we're in desperate need for more misadventure or passion, honest. We're okay in both departments.

...

[It's kind of sad that Teddy knows exactly what's going on.]

You fell into lava, didn't you?

I said hey! But that's beside the point! How come you get to know Wolverine's birthday?! And his age!

Are you kidding? Getting told "happy birthday" from Captain America is like a childhood dream. That's enough for me.

[The only response he gets is another muffled curse and a dull thunk as Billy's head smacks against the wall. That's pretty much a confirmation right there.]

[He chuckles, albeit a bit uncomfortably.]

Well I'm glad I could help you with that. But still, I'd like to get you something. For tradition's sake.

I guess I can't say no to tradition.

[Or presents from Asgardian gods.]

Want to meet somewhere? Or should I just head over.

[Teddy pats the door in response, as if that will suffice for giving Billy a pat on the shoulder or back.]

I'm sorry I killed you. I'll make it up to you in a few minutes, okay?

[And with that, he walks away from the door to finish these last minute things. Just have to set out plates, find the guitar he borrowed...]

...Be...cause I'm a walking encyclopedia for all-things-Avengers?

[Seriously. He could write a book.]

[You don't understand, Teddy. He had a full set of flamboyantly gold armor. Nothing can make up for that kind of loss.

Still, he draws a heart on the note and slides it back under the door, resetting the game and going back to try and salvage his progress.]

[Poor Steve. Will he ever get used to having fanboys?]

You guys are all about tradition today. But seriously, at least try not to go out of your way for it.

Well, you best be ready for more. Unless you magically find a way out of this Shift, you'll be suffering like the rest of us.

[MAGIC, EH.]

But it can't really affect you if you're not around other people, right?

[He chuckles.]

I think... it'd probably be a good idea to leave the house for a bit. Where shall I meet you?

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