selfhelp | [IC] Appointments Post

[Clint steps inside, taking a look around, scanning for exits and threats as usual.]

I'm fine, thanks. Uh... this is for you. To say thanks.

[He holds out the bag which is full of as many different kinds of candy as he could grab.]

[Billy takes the bag, holding it open to check out the contents. He's quiet for a moment, studying them, then lifts his head, one eyebrow raised.]

...Uh. A: you're two weeks early, and B: usually the one at the door gets candy, they don't give it away.

[He's not serious, mind. But he couldn't resist.]

[Oh god... he'd chosen completely the wrong thing hadn't he? He was a teenager... he'd probably prefer... illegal booze or something? He wasn't sure. Liquor laws had had had as much sway over Clint as theft and murder laws had and that was none whatsoever.

He grins anyway.]

Well, y'know, I'd hate to ruin my pristine physique but ruining teenagers is just fine. See, barely a blip on my karma.

[Ha, that's Hawkeye for you. Even an alternate universe can't change the dry humour. Billy returns the grin, closing the bag again and setting it on the nearby counter.]

If I can't fit into my costume next week, I'm blaming you. Thanks, though- can always use more snacks around here. But you didn't have to do that... I was glad to help out.

Maybe that's my plan to eliminate the competition.

[He's not actually planning on doing anything other than normal for Halloween. He'd mostly forgotten it even was coming up to Halloween.]

I appreciate it. No-one had to come help me. I wasn't expecting it. You put a lot of work in, least I can do.

I guess our resident Robin Hood doesn't prescribe to the "more the merrier" theory?

[Standing around is awkward, so after a moment's pause he hefts himself up to sit on the counter by the candy, legs dangling over the edge.]

Just do us all a favour and don't do something crazy like that again, and that's thanks enough.

I'm pretty sure that 'does not play well with others' is scrawled across every page of my SHIELD file by a series of increasingly traumatised Agents.

[He works best when left to his own devices. He goes to lean against the counter himself.]

Crazy would be if I'd gone around killing indiscriminately. That was angry. But... I'll try my best. Don't like dragging other people into my messes.

[Yeah, sounds about right. He has no doubts that Hawkeye's record with the SHIELD of his own world is just as colourful. If not more so, since the Avengers have been active for so long.

Then again, the conversation has made him realize how little he knows about this particular Hawkeye, period.]

Everyone seems sure that Loki's going to break the truce himself, one way or another. If that's true, then you'll get your chance. Honestly, though, I'm less worried about other people and more about the idea of you getting yourself killed.

[No, Billy, this is the part where you're supposed to object and say 'surely not! You must be a paragon of virtue and a model Agent'.]

Perhaps. If he does then we'll probably have bigger things on our plates than my feelings.

[He smiles a little at the sentiment.]

I'm not planning on dying here. I won't go easily but... occupational hazard.

[Yeah, no, he's heard too many stories to argue something like that. Sorry Hawkbro.

He tries not to wince at the 'dying' comment. It's hard to keep a straight face discussing death when his world's Hawkeye has such a grim fate.]

At least around here it isn't... you know, permanent. Apparently.

[Damn it. Maligning his good name.

Yeah, he doesn't like hearing about him being dead. It freaks him out.]

Yeah, so I've heard. I think I saw a horror movie that started like that once.

I've never been a big fan of the horror genre. Give me a good comedy any day.

[Or a musical. Those are nice too.]

Comedy is good. What I do like though is watching spy movies and taking the piss.

[Pfft. Why does this not surprise him at all.]

Have you tried out the Battle Dome sims yet? I've got a movie program set up there, you just need to pick the film.

[Spy movies are comedy gold, damn it!]

I've tried a few. Working on a sniping sim for myself although I'm having a little trouble getting enough random events to keep it interesting.

Movie program sounds interesting. What's it entail?

[In other words, Hawkeye watches Jackie Chan movies?]

It's nothing special, just a home theater system. I'm working on making it bigger, though. The screen's too small right now. But it's got popcorn machines if you bring the kernels.

[All the Jackie Chan movies!]

Sounds awesome. You've really thought of everything. You should program in the couple making out in the back seats though, just for that real movie experience.

Who else're you gonna throw popcorn at?

I'd rather be part of the couple making out, to be honest.

[Though he's not sure if Hawkeye knows about him and Teddy yet.]

[He grins at that and nods.]

That too.

...I'm sure there's psychologists out there who'd love to explain what it says about me that my first impulse is to throw popcorn rather than make out.

My mom's a psychologist. Want me to give you a quote?

[He's only half-joking; he's probably got about a dozen quotes that would qualify. Rebecca Kaplan is very enthusiastic about her work.]

I think I'll pass. I'm happy not knowing what psychoses people think I have.

That's good, because I'm happy to not sound like my mother.

[Every teenager's nightmare.]

I don't think anyone your age wants to sound like their parents. I didn't. Still don't.

...well, it might be okay if your parents were super heroes. I don't think I'd mind that so much.

[Come out swinging with a badass battle cry and the magic of the Scarlet Witch? Heck yeah, he could do that.]

Can you imagine parent-teacher meetings though? 'Sorry Miss Smith. Dad couldn't make it because he had to save LA from alien wasps'.

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