selfhelp | [IC] Appointments Post

[Hah... he's probably better off playing chess.]

...I can do that. It's not I'll be training with the X-Men anymore.

[Not just because of his powers, either.]

[Honestly, he's surprised and pleased that Tommy lasted that long. He takes what he can get.]

...Thanks. I know it's a weird thing to thank somebody for, but... yeah. Thanks.

The thought of us running our own country is probably scarier than having Dr. Doom as a step-dad.

[....]

Oh god, Dr. Dad.

[HE TAKES IT BACK THAT'S WAY SCARIER]

[If Teddy had his mouth free, he would've hissed out a yes in response to Billy realizing what he wanted, and going along with it. Since it isn't, he lets out a moan in Billy's mouth instead, winds his free arm around Billy's waist to pull him close and, with his other hand, he begins to stroke.

With both their hands at work, they fumble a bit at first, but it doesn't take them long to find their footing and create a rhythm together, and the feeling is amazing. He clenches his eyes and presses further into the kiss, opening up for Billy and giving him all the control, meanwhile working with him to bring them both to their peak. Teddy's already pretty close, with growing aroused first and Billy sucking him, but he'll hold out as long as he can for Billy to catch up. He doesn't want him to be too far behind, after all.]

[Teddy shouldn't worry too much about that; it's been so long, and watching his boyfriend had been so arousing, that Billy's not far behind at all. After a few moments of their joined stroking and the enthusiastic passion of the kiss, Billy's groaning right back at him, his hips arching to mimic a thrusting motion. And for the first time in a long while, he really, truly wants it. He wants to reach that peak again with Teddy right there with them, wants to soar and find those stars and fall, fall, and...

...he lets himself want it. He does, and... it feels amazing.

He gasps into Teddy's mouth, his hand jerking unsteadily as he finally orgasms, his entire body trembling. He can't say that it's been worth the wait, not exactly, but god, is it ever intense.

And Teddy's still there, still right there with him.]

Let's agree to never say that again. And if he comes here, we're banning him from getting anywhere near teen mom.

[Their release is so close together that Teddy isn't sure if it was at the same time or not. But when he felt that Billy was close, still so obvious even after all this time of not seeing and feeling the signs, Teddy stopped holding back. He'd pushed his hips against Billy's thrusts, started to stroke unevenly and felt his body sway, and in that next moment, he finds his crest and just dives off of it. He presses a groan against Billy's lips, jerks his hips unsteadily, and he has to break the kiss as he arches his back and tilts his head upward.

He'd been hoping to take the next step in rebuilding their intimacy and get more physical with Billy, and while Teddy wishes they went all the way, this is definitely okay. And with how long they went without pleasuring each other, every sensation, every moment of falling and drifting is so much more intense, just like the first time they really fooled around with each other - awkward, nervous, flustered, but no less sincere and happy.

And Billy's right there with him, still here after all this time. Two years, just a day off the mark. They're still here and stronger than ever, even if they're still repairing themselves.]

Oh? Why not?

Let us keep this evening as a time to relax, then. I think two or three times a week at the battle dome should be sufficient to begin with.

[Together. They'd done it together. It wasn't just him getting Teddy off - which he'd have been fine with, obviously, but Teddy wasn't - and it wasn't both of them getting nothing the way it has been, just feeling horny and uncomfortable and guilty and a little unloved.

No... they'd finally done it again.

And it felt amazing.

He needs air again, suddenly, desperately, so Billy breaks the kiss, tilting his head to rest it against Teddy's instead. He breathes him in, indulging in the heat of it, the scent of his boyfriend, the way his breath is a little bit visible in the chilly air. And as he comes down from that glorious high, he can't help but tell himself over and over how lucky he is to have someone like this in his life.

Teddy waited. And when Teddy was being pushed ahead, he pulled Billy up to join him.

If that isn't perfection, he doesn't know what is.

He can't speak yet - too busy panting and breathlessly laughing at his own good fortune, here - but he hopes the way he's holding Teddy will convey his feelings.]

[Loki nods briefly and motions Billy to come in.]

My apologies for the length. I did not want to become such a lengthy piece.

Good.

[He doesn't know what more to say. At least not without letting that beast within him out again. He needs time alone, time to process this.

Maybe Billy needs to be alone too. Maybe that's how he'll learn.

He hesitates for a moment - opens his mouth briefly. But then he closes it and his eyes. He shakes his head and then proceeds to bamf away.]

Agreed. Agreed one-hundred-percent.

[God, they have a messed up life, for a sentence like that to even be necessary.]

[Billy just nods; he's okay with putting things off for a while.]

I wouldn't be much good in the Danger Room without powers. They'd spend the entire time protecting me. Not to mention... I don't know how comfortable they'd be around me.

[He still hasn't sorted things out with Rogue yet. He honestly doesn't know how.]

I wouldn't know, since nearly none of then are at all comfortable around me. What does my lady think?

[Of course, he also likes making people uncomfortable...]

We shall start tomorrow then. You choose the time.

Well... I'm not going to school yet. Might as well do it in the morning.

[At least until he's brave enough to go back. As for Rogue, though...]

Rogue told me... she might be able to forgive me when I can tell her who to blame. I don't know how to answer her yet, so... I don't know how to face her, either.

All right. In the morning it is. [Hm, he should check the armory; maybe some of his old practice blades have shown up.]

My lady is very wise. [That just makes him smile.] Is it truly that difficult of a question?

You don't have to apologize. It... was merited.

[He accepts Loki's invitation, approaching until he's much closer and halting just in front of him.]

...Can I hug you? I'd really like to hug you now. [He hesitates, and then-] You can say no.

[Loki blinks a couple of times before a small smile appears on his face.]

Of course. Permission to hug granted.

[He nods briefly.]

[That question gives Billy pause, and he fiddles with one of the stolen chess pieces, listlessly spinning it between his fingers. He's totally losing- even if it might not be immediately obvious, he can recognize the signs.]

I know it... shouldn't be. You've already told me there was something in my head. And I felt it, too. But I also feel like it would be wrong to say it wasn't my fault. So how can I just shrug off the blame?

...Oh, thank god.

[It's barely an exhale, and without further hesitation he moves forward to close the distance, wrapping his arms around Loki and holding him tight.]

I don't... want to say goodbye, either. I'm sorry...

[For a moment, Teddy's arm stays loosely around Billy's waist, and his other hand stays between them, pressed against their bodies while he rests his head against Billy's, breathing hard, drifting in that perfect sea of satisfaction.

But when he breaks through the surface and is more aware of himself, he works his hand away to slide his arm around Billy's shoulders, the other tightening around his waist, to pull him close and just hold him there, breathing in his scent, feeling how close together they are, sharing their heat and love. And Teddy feels so incredibly happy, knowing that Billy reached that peak with him as he listens to him breathe heavily and...

And holding him in all the ways Teddy would do so, like he was the best thing that ever happened, the greatest gift, and he knew to treasure it. It makes him tighten his hold, wanting to just curl up and melt into it. It's been so long since he really felt this way...

Teddy would love to be held like that forever. But they - or at least Billy - would probably freeze like this. So once he recovers enough, Teddy reluctantly pulls back enough to brush his nose against Billy's and opens his eyes to smile at him.]

Hi.

[It takes Billy a moment or so longer to come back, breathing tremulously between them, his hand sticky and shaking as he lifts it to hold Teddy in return, feeling satisfied, contented, incredibly loved. He smiles back easily enough, slumping weakly against his boyfriend. Lover.

They're okay.

Finally, he opens his eyes, bleary-eyed and even a bit misty. It might be a terrible cliche to feel like crying after sex, but... he really does feel like crying. It was good, so good. So much better than he'd ever expected, after what he'd done. And they hadn't even gone all the way yet.]

Hey...

[God, what did he ever do to deserve this second chance?]

Knowing something to be true and feeling it to be true are two very different matters.

[He knows this from experience, from several terrible conversations with Rogue. And this is part of why he prefers lies. Well, that and lying is just more fun.]

You wish others to punish you for something you feel is your fault, for the sake of your guilt. [He's had this conversation with Rogue too, but going in a different direction. He doesn't really have problems with guilt.] Is that at all fair to them?

[He almost asks why it's easier for Billy to blame himself than those actually responsible, but he knows why. It's the same sort of reason he still hates himself for never being good enough for Odin, even if now he at least hates Odin as well, for expecting him to be something he could never be. Admitting that you cannot change something, that you have so little control, that there is nothing you can do to make something right, is terrifying.]

[Honestly? He hadn't thought of it that way.]

...No... I guess it isn't. I just assumed that they'd... choose it for themselves.

[If that's really all he's doing - shoving the responsibility of his punishment on other people - then he'll have to rethink things. But the most obvious methods of self-flagellation (so to speak) would hurt the people who inexplicably care about him.

Living with the guilt isn't great, either.]

[He raises one hand, palm up, fingers open.]

Do you think that everyone who has chosen to forgive you is wrong? Am I?

[He smiles crookedly.]

Did you hope they would furnish you with a lesser punishment than being forced to live with yourself?

Edited 2013-12-08 04:14 (UTC)

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