[IC] Appointments Post

[selfhelp]

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[Action, January 1st]

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Comments

[action] [1st of december]

[selfhelp]

You don't have to apologize. It... was merited.

[He accepts Loki's invitation, approaching until he's much closer and halting just in front of him.]

...Can I hug you? I'd really like to hug you now. [He hesitates, and then-] You can say no.

[action] [1st of december]

[not_a_troll]

[Loki blinks a couple of times before a small smile appears on his face.]

Of course. Permission to hug granted.

[He nods briefly.]

[action] [1st of december]

[selfhelp]

...Oh, thank god.

[It's barely an exhale, and without further hesitation he moves forward to close the distance, wrapping his arms around Loki and holding him tight.]

I don't... want to say goodbye, either. I'm sorry...

[action] [1st of december]

[not_a_troll]

[Of course, a hug would not bring Thor or Leah back, but perhaps it could soften the pain a little. Loki presses his face against the fabric of Billy's shirt and squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, realizing once again how sad he is and how tired it has made him.]

That is why you looked that awful. Because it is not an easy thing to present a lot of us with perfect lives, perpetuating such an elaborated spell for...weeks.

[Loki's words were spoken in a soft tone.]

By Odin's sores...why would you put yourself through that...

[action] [1st of december]

[selfhelp]

Ha...

[It's a humourless laugh, short-lived and helplessly bitter.]

In my defense... I really didn't think it would end up the way it did. There was so much magic, I assumed I could just... hold it. That everything would be okay. But reality... doesn't like being changed that way. It wasn't meant to last.

[action] [1st of december]

[not_a_troll]

I know. [He frowns.] Even though I prefer reality...living in that delusion. It is comforting. To not have any worries. To not have any fears. To be happy.

[Because Loki knows he is not happy right now. He feels awful. Beyond awful, even.]

I understand your sentiment. I understand the gratification it might give you. That is why I refer to it as an act of selfish selfnessless.

[Loki sighs deeply, chewing his lip afterwards.]

I am sorry I could not forgive you back then.

[He is still holding on to the taller guy, fingers digging into his shirt a little.]

[action] [1st of december]

[selfhelp]

It's okay. Really, it is.

[He's not about to blame anyone for needing to hold on to that hurt and anger for a while. He knows how harmful the whole experience had been.

He's also not letting go or pulling back- not until Loki is ready.]

You don't have anything to apologize for. Your feelings matter a lot more to me.