selfhelp | [IC] Appointments Post

[Billy shudders in delight at every little sign that Teddy's enjoying himself- the nails at his back, the noises escaping his lips, the way his body tightens, all of it. Teddy's hand beat his own to the erection pressed between them, so instead he uses both hands to brace himself and thrust faster, harder, seeking and finding that spot over and over again with practiced ease. His fingers tighten in the sheets, tilting his head to scrape his teeth against Teddy's exposed neck, soothing the spot with lips and tongue immediately after before repeating the motion. He can't give Teddy a lasting hickey, but he can sure as hell let him feel it for a while.

And Teddy's fingers are trying to make their own lasting marks, something Billy tries to encourage with the way his body responds to it; he loves when his skin displays the evidence of their lovemaking, feels a deep warmth in his chest when he sees them reflected in the mirror the next morning. The sensitivity of the lines and kissed bruises always makes him shiver, especially when Teddy touches them. More, he wants more, and he wants to give it all to his lover.]

T... Teddy...

[ It's kind of a race. Tommy does another pivot, racing across the lake at top speed.

Even if he's slower here, he's still fast enough to pull off jesus moves. ]

[Okay, yeah, it's close enough to a race. When Billy's teleport finishes Tommy's already speeding off in another direction, so he zaps himself just ahead of where the speedster's running. Two can play this game, bro!]

[ Man, he's just not giving up.

Tommy gives a jump, catching hold of a branch (breaking it as he lets go, the force of it is something like a jet plan running into a twig) and uses the momentum to get himself treeborn. ]

[He figured you'd enjoy the challenge. Not to mention it's been a while since he challenged himself. It... feels good, actually.

The change in direction catches him off guard, since it happened before his teleported arrival, so he has to take a moment and get himself back on track. Once he gets a fix on Tommy's position, he switches tactics and tries flying up to the higher branches instead of teleporting around. He can't fly as fast as Tommy can run, but there's far fewer obstacles in the air, so that's a perk.]

[Yeah... Billy doesn't need to tell him twice about what the weakness he's talking about is. Teddy remembers it all too well; the Cube, being unable to protect his boyfriend and the others who'd been kidnapped with them, passing out from the blinding pain in his stomach, hearing Billy scream for him...

His grip around Billy tightens a little, and he focuses on the words being said rather than the memories and feelings that came with it. Healing, they're healing, not diving back into it.

And... yeah, Teddy's kind of getting the image of the kitten hanging onto a branch with the words "Hang in there!" upon hearing all that, only with more words. He leans his cheek against Billy's hair and flicks his gaze upward in thought.]

So you need desire, interest, and incentive. In capital letters for emphasis. Do you feel like you lack any of those things?

Hah... how about all of the above?

[He smiles, a mixture of wry humour and bitterness in the expression, and tilts his head to lean into Teddy's upper arm rather than his shoulder, better to meet his eyes. Sarcasm and talk like that isn't going to help anyone, he knows. It's just been hard to feel any of those things.

After a moment passes his gaze drops again, intimidated by Teddy's support, in a way.]

Okay, okay. Um... I've got incentive, I guess. I mean, I've... gotten used to the idea that just letting my magic sit around in my own head is going to eventually do more harm than good. And I've... helped people with magic before. Interest... I was curious, I know. To see if this helped. To see if this could help us go back to how things were before. If... I could still do this.

[If you were really okay with it.

He sighs faintly, closing his eyes.]

So... desire, with a capital D. That's a tough one. I... wanted to do this, I wanted to try it out again. I missed... experiencing this stuff with you. I missed being on your team. But I'm still scared. I'm scared that- that wanting it will mess me up again, that I'll just- go bad again, that whatever twisted my magic up inside will come back. I'd rather be useless than a monster...

[God, god, with everything that's going on - feeling Billy above and around and within, the sensation of his prostate being stimulated over and over, the teeth at his neck, his hand working furiously at his own erection, everything, it's like the whole world narrows down to just the two of them. There's nothing but them and the bed they're on, and his mind is too overwhelmed to even think about what could be outside of it, and doesn't seem particularly bothered by it.

No, all Teddy knows is that this feels absolutely amazing, wonderful, and he can't stop himself from arching his back and keeping his head tilted back with his lips parted to let loose what Billy wrings out of him, from allowing himself to dig his nails in to his lover's skin on his back, knowing it might sting, knowing that Billy enjoys it. He wants more, more, faster, harder, even as he can feel himself racing toward that glorious finish.

And he knows that Billy can feel it, too; the way Teddy tenses, the way he breathes and how his noises grow more desperate. He feels like an arrow slowly being drawn back, and he needs release, he needs it now.]

Bi - ah... Billy, Billy...!

[He did tell him that he'd end up moaning his name earlier, when making his suggestions.]

[That... is definitely a problem, considering that's how Billy's powers worked. He had to want it enough, believe in it so hard that it just happened. Without that desire... There's no guarantee he'll be able to use his magic properly again, even with him already hovering during meditation.

Teddy purses his lips and looks back down at the book with a little frown. How to solve this... He's pretty sure just giving Billy a list of reasons on why he should want it wouldn't work. Pushing him into too much into it is the last thing he wants to do. So...]

You think there's anything in the book that talks about lack of desire? Or any of them, really. There's gotta be something that addresses it, even if it doesn't really apply to magic.

[Billy furrows his brows and flips through the pages some more, his eyes scanning the text in the hopes that something will pop out and work out the problem for them. It's kind of a long shot, but surely there must be something.]

Funny... desire was never an issue, back when we first did this, so I don't really remember reading much about it. I wanted to be a super hero so badly... I was desperate to help people and, I dunno, be more than who I was before I got powers.

[Teddy's looking too, trying to see if there's even any words about desire in the pages being flipped. He listens to Billy too, and he understands; all of them wanted to be heroes so badly, and Teddy's never lost that desire. Billy, though...]

Are you afraid of doing those things now? Of using your powers to do it?

[Ahhh... he'd been waiting for that, though he hadn't known it until that moment. Billy shudders and clenches his fists in the bedsheets, tensing his knees as he draws back and bracing himself for what's next. Experience and instinct has taught him well what to do now, what they both need- and this is how he likes it, now that he's done his part to find that spot of perfect pleasure for Teddy.

With a breathy exhale he pulls back again only to thrust faster than before, grinding his body hard and fast into Teddy's over and over in quick succession. He's a tense wire ready to snap, determined to push himself and his lover as hard as he can before he does.

Teddy first, though. Teddy first. And he knows how close they both are, now.]

I want to say no.

[God, does he ever. Just sitting in the background while other people fight... it feels wrong. It is wrong, especially when his power is right there and meant to be used.]

I am, though. I keep thinking- if I was stronger, or better at other stuff, I could be like Kate. Help people without powers, and maybe just- use them in emergencies or something, you know? It's not like having powers makes me better than her. Or anyone. But I'm not... really good at anything else. I tried that already, and...

[He shrugs slightly. The swordfighting and dagger lessons with Loki, the archery attempts with Viral, the self-defense classes here and there that he'd utterly failed at. Even with someone as patient as Teddy giving him tips he was still just mediocre at best. When facing someone down for real he'd be snapped like a twig. His only real success (if one could even call it that) had been against the zombies when Teddy was hurt, mindless enemies who had no thoughts about tactics and were easy to hit.

It would be a lot more pathetic if he didn't have an infinite pool of energy within him that he's just kind of refused to tap into for all this time. Or maybe that's the most pathetic part.]

I just wish it was easier to want it more than fear it.

[As strong as Teddy is, it feels so good to have Billy push as hard and fast as he can; he knows how much Billy loves this, how it's his favorite style of lovemaking, and Teddy certainly reaps the benefits of it as well.

Not that he's really thinking any of that. He's not thinking much of anything; the sensations are just so fucking good that there's no room for thought, nothing except the sparks of pleasure that keep pulsing through his body. There is one thing, one thing that he thinks of, and that's to get his hands away from Billy's back before he can dig in too much. Making him bleed is the last thing he wants to do, and Teddy has more control of himself than that.

But oh god, oh god, it's so amazing that he wants it to last longer. His body is very near completion though; his head bows to press against Billy's shoulder, muffling whatever noises he lets out, and his hands clench in the sheets below him and his legs hold Billy around the waist to keep him close while he thrusts and thrusts and - and -

There. Finally Teddy's back arches, his toes curl against Billy's skin, and he lets out a moan muffled by biting his bottom lip while he releases between them, and every other part of the world fades in favor of that blissful, floaty feeling that follows such an intense orgasm. Holy shit, holy shit...]

[He really wishes there was an easier way to help Billy. The right words to say, the very thing to make him light up and want to use his magic again, something. But Teddy really doesn't have the words to do that. This won't just be an easy fix, not for either of them.

But he can't just stay silent, either. He looks down at his feet, lost in thought for a moment, before he lifts his head a bit to speak.]

I think... you have to be afraid of your powers a little to really fight well with them. Well... maybe afraid's not the right word. Cautious? Wary? Like, my strength. I know I could hurt people really badly with it. I have. But I worked through it, and I tried to figure out a way to use it without hurting anybody. I'm always... aware of it, I guess.

And I know magic's different from physical strength. I know that. But... I don't know, I guess I'm just trying to say... [He rubs the back of his neck; he was never the one who was good with words.] I think what we need to work on is letting that fear turn into a... an awareness. An awareness, and desire again. And maybe there's a book on that somewhere?

[Billy can feel it before it happens, his body tensing with anticipation and pressing in hard. He inhales sharply when Teddy comes, breath escaping in the same muffled rasp when the blond's body tightens around his erection, wet success spattering his stomach. If he wasn't already at the edge, the sounds Teddy's making would be enough to end him then and there.

He follows closely behind, lingering inside a thrust or two after Teddy's release and just holding his position like that until, a scant second later, he shudders with his own orgasm. A cry escapes his lips, half-muffled and still enough to echo quietly against the walls, his back arched, hands tightening in the sheets and a little bit in Teddy's hair, too.

Holy shit, indeed.]

Mm... good question. Actually-

[Billy starts flipping through the book again, his eyes scanning over the pages for buzz words: fear, caution, awareness, overcoming, or similar phrasing. What Teddy had suggested was familiar, and he's almost certain that he's read it before. Whether it's this book or a different one, however, he's less certain about.

As he searches, he thinks about what Teddy said. It's true that they've both been there, felt the fear and worry of hurting someone, and just because Billy's power was magical didn't mean he wasn't just as capable of physically hurting people, so it wasn't as different as Teddy made it sound. That understanding is comforting, in its own way.

Being aware of the power, but... not letting the fear overwhelm you? Sounds easy enough, but he knows it's far from that. His brows furrow, lowering the book after a long moment of quiet.]

How do you do it?

[Amidst the haze, Teddy can feel those last few thrusts, and then the real grande finale, Billy clenching his fists and coming with a cry that would've definitely brought Teddy over the edge if he wasn't already there. He has his eyes shut, but he can picture Billy's expression in his head, and it's so beautiful to him... He wishes he got to see it. Next time.

It takes a moment to come back to earth after all that. But when he does, Teddy slowly lifts a hand up to sift through Billy's hair, a smile growing on his face until it borders on just plain silly. He's worn out and panting, but that was absolutely mind-blowing. Amazing, perfect for celebrating their engagement.]

Ha... Hey, fiancé...

The turning fear into awareness thing?

[With Billy searching for something to help him with that understanding, slides his hand down from his shoulder to the small of his back instead, eyes on the pages to help him look. But maybe he can tell him something to help... If he can word it properly, that is.]

...Mmmm...

[Billy flops his head wearily on Teddy's shoulder, his mind abuzz with contented bliss, his body tingling in the afterglow. Maybe it's the engagement that's making it different, but that... totally felt like it hit the top-five sex list.]

...hey back, fiancé...

Yeah. I mean... like you said, you had to work through it yourself. You had to- you had to come to terms with hurting someone with your powers, get over that and use them to do good, instead. I did that with Kesler, too, but... I don't know. It didn't feel the same. I didn't feel all that guilty, back then. ...Does... that make me a horrible person?

[He can remember the horror of almost killing someone, sure. That part was awful. But Kesler was fine and then Iron Lad showed up and the team came together, so it had been easy to forget that he'd zapped the guy who'd made his life hell for years.

Shit, derailing. He shakes his head.]

No- sorry, forget that. But I'd... like your thoughts on it. The fear stuff.

[They'd had an early morning start, which has Teddy yawning every now and then as they head away from the village. He tries to stop while they're in the air, but sometimes he can't help ducking his head to do so. Still, tired as he is, this is worth it. A third anniversary - not as a big a deal compared to their engagement, but it's still celebrating the day they decided to be boyfriends, essentially the first day of the rest of their lives. This is absolutely worth celebrating, and he wants this day to last as long as possible.

Usually, they go to the hot springs in the mountains. But with the barrier allowing people through, there's one particular location they decided to go to this time. The mountains they marked way, way in the past; their tree had grown, and they'd carved their names in it to celebrate the fact. Now it was time to see if the names in the mountains were still there.

After yet another yawn that Teddy insists to himself is the last one, he looks over at Billy flying by his side. Unsurprisingly, Billy is bright and awake, because he's a nerd who likes to do yoga in the morning.]

If I didn't like flying with you so much, I'd say we should teleport there!

[Billy is about as annoyingly perky as one might imagine a morning person to be, though it's balanced somewhat by how chilly it is in the open air. Over his costume he's well bundled, practically buried in layers to prevent any unpleasantries that could ruin an anniversary weekend- sickness and frostbite, in particular. There's a hint of red in the blue bubble of magic keeping him upright, hinting at some on-the-go mystical heating that Teddy might catch if he flies close enough.

At his comment, Billy smiles at him from over his scarf.]

We still could, if you want. I know you're tired.

[It isn't just from flying, though it is an awfully long way, especially with the ocean spread between continents.]

[... Well. That just sounds like giving up, and Teddy doesn't want to throw in the towel just yet.

He raises an eyebrow, then turns his head forward again, eyes on the horizon of... ocean. And more ocean. It was pretty cool flying over it before, but now the thrill's kind of worn off a bit.]

Maybe when I'm bored enough! [Because he's not that tired. Except he kind of is that tired, but he can handle it. He's a man. He's got this.]

Hah, alright.

[He loves you, bf, but you are fooling no one. Still, he'll play along for now. He's just prepped to throw out a levitation spell if Teddy falls asleep in the air or something.]

It shouldn't take us more than a couple of hours to get there, I think. Wonder how much it's changed...

[IC] Appointments Post

[Action, March 14th]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

[Action, May 6th]

[Action, May 6th]

[Action, March 14th]

[Action, May 6th]

[Action, May 6th]

[Action, May 6th]

[Action, March 14th]

[Action, May 6th]

[Action, March 14th]

[Action, May 6th]

[Action, March 14th]

[Action, May 6th]

[Action, March 14th]

[Action, May 6th]

[Action, March 14th]

[Action, May 6th]

[Action, November 23rd]

[Action, November 23rd]

[Action, November 23rd]

[Action, November 23rd]