selfhelp | [Action / Voice] House of M Follow-Up

[So... he's probably delayed this long enough, even if a part of him would love to delay it indefinitely. Not only is it a month overdue, but now that he's home again and fully recovered from whatever had been affecting his mind, putting it off any further will just make things more difficult. Frightened as he is of the consequences, he won't get anywhere if he keeps hiding. It's time to apologize for the damage his spell caused, and make things right... if he can.

First, Billy seeks out those he knows personally, friends or acquaintances whom he remembers being affected or involved. Whether they're people he hasn't spoken to since the spell was in place, or people who visited him while he was possessed and halfway out of his mind, he'll try to be as thorough as possible. Teddy accompanies him from place to place, bless him, and they can be found walking hand-in-hand through the village and talking quietly, though Billy will be speaking with the people he's looking for on his own. Teddy's there for moral support, nothing more; the rest is his responsibility.

After those visits, presumably the hard part is over, but there's one thing left to do - reach out to those he couldn't find, missed, or simply doesn't know, as well as the general populace who'd probably noticed strange things going on at the time. They deserve to know about... well. To put it bluntly, the menace to society that he can be. Not that he'd give that reason out loud. Certain people would take issue with it.

They'd be wrong, but.

This time, he uses the journal network, his voice tentative, worried, and sick with guilt, and it happens later in the evening:]

...Hey... it's Billy. Um, Kaplan. I'm kind of a witch. You might not know me. Sorry if you do. ...Last month, October 1st, I was sent back from a Malnosso abduction... kind of a mess. I wasn't thinking straight, and... I cast a spell. It... it screwed with a lot of people. Badly. I don't know the full extent of the damage it caused, or how far it went, but- I do know that- people were hurt. And I know I might not be able to make things right again, either.

["Might". His hope for that one is still pretty pathetic; the forgiveness he's already received is something of a miracle to him. The day's meetings are still weighing on him, and there's an ache in his heart that refuses to go away.]

...Still. I- I need to apologize. Whether or not the Malnosso were the cause, it's still my fault. S-so I'm sorry. I'm sorry... I'm so...

[....]

...I'm... not going to use magic anymore. I'm done. I'm no good. At it. I mean. I- sorry. ...This won't happen again. And if you want to yell at me, or get a better explanation of what happened, or... whatever you need, I'll... be here.

Thanks. For hearing me out.

[And... that's that.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

In other words, you're afraid of your own weakness.

[Which is something he understands all too well.]

You're afraid that you won't be strong enough to resist the urge to use your magic for the wrong reasons again. Doing it once is proof that you're capable of it, and you're afraid it's also proof that you could do it again.

[He looks up at Billy.]

Am I correct?

...Pretty on the nose, yeah.

[There really isn't any point in denying it, is there? He'd all but admitted to it.

And the problem is easier to admit than it is to talk about.]

[Richard's laugh is soft, wry.]

We really are alike.

I'm sorry.

[He wouldn't want to be like himself if he was somebody else.]

Why are you apologizing?

[He seems genuinely baffled by this, because as far as he can tell, Billy hasn't done anything to him that's worthy of an apology.]

I don't know. That this happened? That bad things ever happen to good people? It sucks. But there isn't much anyone can do about it, so... sorry.

[He shrugs.]

[Richard just shakes his head, his gaze falling back down to the floor.]

The ones who truly deserve the apology are the people we hurt, not us. But I am sorry that any of this ever happened to either one of us.

Yeah... me too.

[What else can he say, really? It's the honest truth.]

[The mood has gotten considerably darker than it was when he first arrived. It's to be expected given the conversation subject, of course, but he also came to cheer Billy up, not make him feel worse.

Time for a topic change, he thinks.]

Do you have any other music like the song you just played for me? I'd be interested to hear any of the other pieces based on that book.

[The topic shift is so abrupt that Billy looks momentarily startled, but he latches onto it eager, offering a grateful smile and turning back to the laptop.]

Oh, sure. There's more than just that book, too. Have you ever heard of Wicked?

[He'll just start compiling a playlist.]

[Action / Voice] House of M Follow-Up

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