[Action / Voice] House of M Follow-Up

[selfhelp]

[So... he's probably delayed this long enough, even if a part of him would love to delay it indefinitely. Not only is it a month overdue, but now that he's home again and fully recovered from whatever had been affecting his mind, putting it off any further will just make things more difficult. Frightened as he is of the consequences, he won't get anywhere if he keeps hiding. It's time to apologize for the damage his spell caused, and make things right... if he can.

First, Billy seeks out those he knows personally, friends or acquaintances whom he remembers being affected or involved. Whether they're people he hasn't spoken to since the spell was in place, or people who visited him while he was possessed and halfway out of his mind, he'll try to be as thorough as possible. Teddy accompanies him from place to place, bless him, and they can be found walking hand-in-hand through the village and talking quietly, though Billy will be speaking with the people he's looking for on his own. Teddy's there for moral support, nothing more; the rest is his responsibility.

After those visits, presumably the hard part is over, but there's one thing left to do - reach out to those he couldn't find, missed, or simply doesn't know, as well as the general populace who'd probably noticed strange things going on at the time. They deserve to know about... well. To put it bluntly, the menace to society that he can be. Not that he'd give that reason out loud. Certain people would take issue with it.

They'd be wrong, but.

This time, he uses the journal network, his voice tentative, worried, and sick with guilt, and it happens later in the evening:]

...Hey... it's Billy. Um, Kaplan. I'm kind of a witch. You might not know me. Sorry if you do. ...Last month, October 1st, I was sent back from a Malnosso abduction... kind of a mess. I wasn't thinking straight, and... I cast a spell. It... it screwed with a lot of people. Badly. I don't know the full extent of the damage it caused, or how far it went, but- I do know that- people were hurt. And I know I might not be able to make things right again, either.

["Might". His hope for that one is still pretty pathetic; the forgiveness he's already received is something of a miracle to him. The day's meetings are still weighing on him, and there's an ache in his heart that refuses to go away.]

...Still. I- I need to apologize. Whether or not the Malnosso were the cause, it's still my fault. S-so I'm sorry. I'm sorry... I'm so...

[....]

...I'm... not going to use magic anymore. I'm done. I'm no good. At it. I mean. I- sorry. ...This won't happen again. And if you want to yell at me, or get a better explanation of what happened, or... whatever you need, I'll... be here.

Thanks. For hearing me out.

[And... that's that.]

Comments

[action]

[selfhelp]

[God. God. After the day he'd had, and the discussion they'd just had, those words from Teddy was an unbelievable breath of air to drowning lungs. He inhales as if the act alone could draw the very words right into him, let it all soak in, the warmth of Teddy's smile practically tangible. He could lose himself in that smile for hours if he allowed it.

His first instinct - always, now, a habit he's struggled with since regaining his senses and one he's not sure if he really should fight - is to apologize, but he fends it off somehow. Instead he leans in, wraps his arms around Teddy, and buries his face into the blond's shoulder, eyes clenched to fight back the tears suddenly filling his eyes. They're happy this time, though. Lately the tears he'd shed with Teddy have been happy. (Or at least not as miserable.) His voice is muffled, but still coherent enough, as he whispers into the fabric-]

I love you... I love you...

[Yes, he could apologize. But his voice can be better spent on words of love instead of regret.]

[action]

[halfnhalf]

[The relief he feels from Billy, that sense of finally holding on to something he'd been reaching for for weeks, is so, so obvious to Teddy, and for a quick moment it makes tears line his own eyes before they go away almost just as quickly. He holds his boyfriend close, arms enveloped around him like he's still, still the most special person in his life, smiling a little too hard out of relief of his own.

It's been an extremely long day for Billy, and they just got through a very difficult talk. Seeing him react like this, telling him he loves him and feeling so happy, something Teddy can feel rather than see, is like opening a curtain and allowing the sun to shine in.

His Billy with a little bit of light again, even if it might not be for long, and Teddy absolutely basks in it and feels much the same happiness and relief right along with him.]

I love you too... I love you so much...

[action]

[selfhelp]

[Billy doesn't want to end up in yet another sob session on poor Teddy, so he fights against the overwhelming urge to let go and do just that, instead focusing on the good, the simple joy instead of the aching relief. It's hard, and there are still tears in his eyes, but it isn't quite the shaky, sniffling cry that it could have been. He remains close, content to be held and to feel that love, to offer up his own in response. This is the kind of memory he wants to hold on to. Not that he'd done terrible things to need this forgiveness, but that they love each other enough to get over the issues that spawned it. That someday, eventually, this will all be just a bad memory and what they have is still very real.

That's all he really wants- this love, this relationship, this perfection, as long as he can keep it.]