selfhelp | [Action / Voice] House of M Follow-Up

[So... he's probably delayed this long enough, even if a part of him would love to delay it indefinitely. Not only is it a month overdue, but now that he's home again and fully recovered from whatever had been affecting his mind, putting it off any further will just make things more difficult. Frightened as he is of the consequences, he won't get anywhere if he keeps hiding. It's time to apologize for the damage his spell caused, and make things right... if he can.

First, Billy seeks out those he knows personally, friends or acquaintances whom he remembers being affected or involved. Whether they're people he hasn't spoken to since the spell was in place, or people who visited him while he was possessed and halfway out of his mind, he'll try to be as thorough as possible. Teddy accompanies him from place to place, bless him, and they can be found walking hand-in-hand through the village and talking quietly, though Billy will be speaking with the people he's looking for on his own. Teddy's there for moral support, nothing more; the rest is his responsibility.

After those visits, presumably the hard part is over, but there's one thing left to do - reach out to those he couldn't find, missed, or simply doesn't know, as well as the general populace who'd probably noticed strange things going on at the time. They deserve to know about... well. To put it bluntly, the menace to society that he can be. Not that he'd give that reason out loud. Certain people would take issue with it.

They'd be wrong, but.

This time, he uses the journal network, his voice tentative, worried, and sick with guilt, and it happens later in the evening:]

...Hey... it's Billy. Um, Kaplan. I'm kind of a witch. You might not know me. Sorry if you do. ...Last month, October 1st, I was sent back from a Malnosso abduction... kind of a mess. I wasn't thinking straight, and... I cast a spell. It... it screwed with a lot of people. Badly. I don't know the full extent of the damage it caused, or how far it went, but- I do know that- people were hurt. And I know I might not be able to make things right again, either.

["Might". His hope for that one is still pretty pathetic; the forgiveness he's already received is something of a miracle to him. The day's meetings are still weighing on him, and there's an ache in his heart that refuses to go away.]

...Still. I- I need to apologize. Whether or not the Malnosso were the cause, it's still my fault. S-so I'm sorry. I'm sorry... I'm so...

[....]

...I'm... not going to use magic anymore. I'm done. I'm no good. At it. I mean. I- sorry. ...This won't happen again. And if you want to yell at me, or get a better explanation of what happened, or... whatever you need, I'll... be here.

Thanks. For hearing me out.

[And... that's that.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't get it. Then what are you going to do?

I haven't... really decided. Quit, maybe. That's probably the only way to keep everyone safe from... this.

[He holds his hands up a bit helplessly before letting them drop again. What do you do when the very thing that used to protect you is what's hurting people? You stop. It's simple enough, right?]

[He looks him over for a moment in disbelief.]

Is that really the only way? I mean... just because you don't use your powers doesn't mean they're gone.

[That's part of being a mutant. You can't just quite who you are.]

No, they're not. [Unfortunately.] It's the best way, though. I mean, what's the alternative? Keep using it the way I did before and wait for all of this to happen again? How can I risk that?

I don't know. But not using your powers still isn't like an off switch. There's got to still be a risk. Wouldn't you be better off learning to really control them? You just have to... not do stupid things like that again.

Learn not to? Just like that?

[Dammit, that came out snappier than intended. Billy grimaces and rubs his forehead.]

...Look, I've been learning. It's been two years since I got my powers. The problem is that the more I train, the more powerful I get. And now we've all seen how that works out.

Not just like that. But I don't think you can stop your powers just like that, either.

Control's different from getting more powerful. I mean, if you'd gone to our school, I bet you'd understand a lot better.

Yeah, well, let's just say the school wasn't an option for me when I got my powers.

[Bad enough the mutants were essentially endangered after M-Day, but he didn't feel like getting locked away in one area and guarded by a bunch of Sentinels. Or taught by Emma Frost. That lady was terrifying.]

Either way, you have options now. There's Logan and Ororo. They have to be able to help you.

[Ugh, he's not good at arguing this right now. Is Teddy really the only one who understands?]

Look, I... I get it. What you're trying to say. And I'm sorry. I just... can't do it. Not now...

[He looks Billy in the eye for a moment, uncertainly, and then he nods.]

You... you need time. I get it.

Yeah. And I'm not trying to be difficult, I just... yeah.

[God, he wishes he was better with words today.]

And If you'd rather I not hang around, I... I'd understand. I just had to tell you.

Thanks for telling me.

[He pauses for a moment.]

It's not like I want to stop being friends.

[That makes Billy lift his head, eyes widening a little. He doesn't speak, only offers up a questioning look. Seriously? After everything...?]

Really. [He says softly.] You messed up, like we all do. Human, mutant... whatever. But you're still the same guy who's my friend. I'm not ready to turn my back on you, man.

[God, Kurt. Can he hug you? He really wants to hug you for that. That's huge, to hear those words. It's touching and more than he'd ever hoped for.]

I don't... know what to say. Thank you. Thank you... for not giving up on me.

[Action / Voice] House of M Follow-Up

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