[Action / Voice] House of M Follow-Up

[selfhelp]

[So... he's probably delayed this long enough, even if a part of him would love to delay it indefinitely. Not only is it a month overdue, but now that he's home again and fully recovered from whatever had been affecting his mind, putting it off any further will just make things more difficult. Frightened as he is of the consequences, he won't get anywhere if he keeps hiding. It's time to apologize for the damage his spell caused, and make things right... if he can.

First, Billy seeks out those he knows personally, friends or acquaintances whom he remembers being affected or involved. Whether they're people he hasn't spoken to since the spell was in place, or people who visited him while he was possessed and halfway out of his mind, he'll try to be as thorough as possible. Teddy accompanies him from place to place, bless him, and they can be found walking hand-in-hand through the village and talking quietly, though Billy will be speaking with the people he's looking for on his own. Teddy's there for moral support, nothing more; the rest is his responsibility.

After those visits, presumably the hard part is over, but there's one thing left to do - reach out to those he couldn't find, missed, or simply doesn't know, as well as the general populace who'd probably noticed strange things going on at the time. They deserve to know about... well. To put it bluntly, the menace to society that he can be. Not that he'd give that reason out loud. Certain people would take issue with it.

They'd be wrong, but.

This time, he uses the journal network, his voice tentative, worried, and sick with guilt, and it happens later in the evening:]

...Hey... it's Billy. Um, Kaplan. I'm kind of a witch. You might not know me. Sorry if you do. ...Last month, October 1st, I was sent back from a Malnosso abduction... kind of a mess. I wasn't thinking straight, and... I cast a spell. It... it screwed with a lot of people. Badly. I don't know the full extent of the damage it caused, or how far it went, but- I do know that- people were hurt. And I know I might not be able to make things right again, either.

["Might". His hope for that one is still pretty pathetic; the forgiveness he's already received is something of a miracle to him. The day's meetings are still weighing on him, and there's an ache in his heart that refuses to go away.]

...Still. I- I need to apologize. Whether or not the Malnosso were the cause, it's still my fault. S-so I'm sorry. I'm sorry... I'm so...

[....]

...I'm... not going to use magic anymore. I'm done. I'm no good. At it. I mean. I- sorry. ...This won't happen again. And if you want to yell at me, or get a better explanation of what happened, or... whatever you need, I'll... be here.

Thanks. For hearing me out.

[And... that's that.]

Comments

[selfhelp]

...No?

[snikting]

[Kids. The trouble with them is that they want coddled. Even with an invitation to be yelled at, what they're really hoping for is a pat on the back and a there there.

Well, Logan has no intention of giving that. But at the same time, he's not going to just accept one of his students whining and giving up.]

No. Ya screwed up. Blew it. Made a mess of it all. But ya don't just get to quit bein' a mutant. That's not how this works. An' it sure as hell ain't how bein' an X-Man works. You don't get to just choose to stop usin' yer powers cuz somethin' went wrong and a few people got hurt. That just comes with the territory.

So no. Ya've had her time to mope. Now it's time to get back to work.

[selfhelp]

[...Honestly? He should've expected that. It's probably something of a miracle that Logan hadn't come looking for him that first week after the spell wore off, though it's also likely that Mia had kept them posted on his mental state.

He's still not a fan of what Logan says, though.]

It's not about choosing that. My powers aren't who I am. Just a part of me. I'm still a mutant, but... this is my choice.

It's better for everyone if I just stick by it.

[snikting]

It's yer choice and yer free to make it. Doesn't mean it ain't stupid. Our powers'r more'n just a part of us. Turning 'em off ain't gonna work fer long. 'specially when trouble comes knockin'.

[It's a war, kid. Bigger than just the one yer gramps celebrates. We don't get to choose the sidelines.

He'd have said this from day one. But he gave the kid a chance to recover. Let hi friends be there for him and support him. Maybe he should've done more, but he was doing his best to not just vanish on a mission and work out his own issues on the faces of a few cultists.

It's clear he shouldn't have waited this long.]

[selfhelp]

...Then I'll learn how to fight without using magic. Lots of people do that. It's better than taking the risk that I'll cause as much damage than the ones we're trying to fight.

[He's not very strong, sure. He's not built for hand-to-hand or weaponry. But muscles can be developed, skills can be honed. He'll figure something out.]

[snikting]

Sure. That'll work. 'til it's yer life on the line. Or Teddy's. Ya gonna have the nerve to say no to yer powers when it's life or death? Cuz that's when yer gonna need the most control. Which ya won't have it ya abandon your trainin' now.

[selfhelp]

[....]

My powers almost got Teddy killed. I'm sure even he'd agree that he's better off if I keep them the hell away from him. The same goes for anyone else I could "save".

[snikting]

Our powers don't come with instruction manuals. Ya ain't the first mutant to hurt someone ya care about. Ya won't be the last, either.

[selfhelp]

So why would I want to train and get even stronger? I never did anything like this back when all I could do was hover around and shoot lightning. Getting better at magic only increased the scale of the damage I could cause.

[snikting]

Then it was the wrong kind of trainin'. It ain't enough to just get stronger. Ya gotta learn control, too.

[And hell, that's his fault. He assumed Billy had control already. He shouldn't have assumed.]

[selfhelp]

[Yeah, him too.]

I thought I had it. But this... whatever they did to me...

[....]

...It wasn't enough.