[Action, July 11th-13th]

[selfhelp]

[To say that Billy is a bit of a basket case right now would be a severe understatement. His mom is here. His admittedly teenage and therefore doesn't-know-who-he-is-and-kind-of-alternate-universe mom, yes, but that doesn't seem to make the intensity of his feelings about the matter any different. One small comfort is that they're getting along (so far), and their shared powers gives them common ground, but there's still that lingering... risk that he can't stop thinking about. That he won't be able to keep his secrets, that eventually everything will come crumbling down. He's terrified of that.

The first day, he does little else but fret and mull over it, after separating from Wanda; Teddy's kind enough to cancel any of his daily doings, since he's in no state to be pretending like everything's normal. It had been hard enough with Wanda the first time. Today, though, he feels much better. His head is more clear, he's found his center of calm, and he spent at least half the day and night before meditating so he figures he has a firm grasp on his sanity again.

There are certain things that he knows he needs to do, especially since he ditched all his usual priorities the day before, so he's made himself a list, and today he's going through it all. It is as follows: He swing by the art gallery and removes some of his work, namely anything that features the Scarlet Witch (only a couple of pieces, mind you, and they're his, but art theft is still art theft). He attends training with Logan and begs for forgiveness about skipping the day before (beg may be an overstatement of what actually happens because he isn't really sorry at all). He'll attend X-Men Training and try to perform decently despite feeling ridiculously scatterbrained. And finally, he'll probably talk to some Very Important People in the process of completing the rest of his list.

In the end, well... he's decided to track down Wanda again, maybe not now, but some time in the near future. Because despite his fears and misgivings, despite everything he's likely to say to everyone else - that it's a bad idea, that he'll mess things up, that he'll accidentally reveal himself - the temptation of sharing his powers with hers, teaching her, helping her, is too strong to resist. This is about more than a lost family, now. This is about magic.]

Comments

July 11

[complicatedliar]

[Loki has only just finished up a bit of practice in the Battle Dome and departed, still a bit sweaty from the activity. He spies Billy as he's stopping to get a drink and gives him a little wave. There are other people about, so he doesn't approach immediately.]

July 12 < if that's okay? billy's not out on the 11th c:

[selfhelp]

[Billy almost doesn't notice Loki; he's still distracted and inwardly cursing himself for it, so he looks equal parts frustrated and troubled. When he does spy the wave, he's briefly startled, but he manages to return the gesture, albeit without enthusiasm.]

July 12 is fine

[complicatedliar]

[Loki's eyebrows go up. He makes another small gesture, questioning. He isn't certain if Billy wants them to be seen talking in public.]

[selfhelp]

[There's a moment of hesitation as that gesture is translated into Loki-speak, considered, then decided upon; in the end Billy shakes his head and looks away, though not for the reason Loki might think. Witnesses or no, this isn't the place to talk about really important stuff.]

[complicatedliar]

[A small nod. Loki will be waiting a bit outside of the Battle Dome, to catch Billy and walk with him when he leaves.]

[selfhelp]

[Billy comes out a bit later, after the others have already left, lagging behind and so distracted coming out of the dome that he doesn't even realize Loki is there.]

[complicatedliar]

[Loki has been passing the time by reading a book. He tucks it away in space and moves to join Billy.]

Whatever is the matter? You seem very distracted.

[selfhelp]

[OH GEEZ WHAT THE FU-

...oh god, Loki. Of all the things he'd expected today, Loki waiting for him was not one of them.]

I... what? I'm fine- what are you doing here?

[complicatedliar]

[Stare. Eye roll.]

Waiting for you as I indicated I would.

I think you had better tell your dear teacher what is the matter.

[selfhelp]

[Oh. Uh. Is that what the nod had meant? Clearly he's not so great at Loki's nonverbal cues. He'll have to work on that.]

Ah... would you settle for an extremely vague and unhelpful, "it's complicated"?

[complicatedliar]

[Stare.]

Would you?

[selfhelp]

...Probably not.

[Sigh. His own damn fault for being stubborn, apparently.]

My mom's here. She showed up yesterday.

[complicatedliar]

Ah.

...awkward.

[And the real question, to which he had already guessed the answer:]

Does she know?

[selfhelp]

No, not yet. Maybe not ever. [He shuffles his feet a bit, kicking a stone along the road.] She's the same age as I am. And she's from another universe, too. In her world I might not ever exist.

[So really- what's the point?]

[complicatedliar]

Mmm. Even more awkward. [Good thing he likes you, Billy. Otherwise there would be some mischief happening just for the lulz.]

What do you want from this?

[selfhelp]

[Billy sets free a short bark of humourless, borderline-bitter laughter.]

I want my life to stop being such a freaking mess, is what I really want.

[...But... okay, that's not a real answer. And it's certainly a valid question.]

...I don't know. I know what I did want... I wanted to meet her, talk with her, find out if she, you know, wants me. Before I got here I didn't even know for sure that she is my real mom. And now that I've got answers, I have no idea what to do with them, because yeah, she's the same person, but at the same time she's not. She's not my mom.

[He's not sure that's a real answer either, but right now it's the best he's got.]

[complicatedliar]

[Loki nods.]

And she shan't have the answer you seek, as young as she is. [Unless she had Billy really young, but that's not the impression he's gotten.]

If you can stand it, it might be informative to befriend her... but I shouldn't like to see you torturing yourself.

[He's certainly curious now.]

[selfhelp]

Yeah, um... well, we talked already. We- ...actually, you might like this.

[He smiles faintly, glancing down at his hands, power briefly sparking in his palms.]

Her magic's... the same as mine. It feels the same. Neither of us have ever felt anything like that before. I guess... we kind of bonded over it? So that's something.

[Working with other magic users was fine, and he loved those experiences, too. But none of that can really come close to the feeling he'd had, that euphoria and the sensation of not alone that he'd gotten when he felt their powers entwine.

It was an amazing thing, and he can't help craving more.]

[complicatedliar]

[Loki nods, smiling.]

That is a lovely feeling.

[That was why he had decided to be around Billy, among other reasons. But it was nice to be around other magicians. They understood certain things.]

That is good to hear. I think you've taken the right tactic.

I rather want to met her myself, now.

[selfhelp]

Oh god. Uh. [Is that a good idea or a bad idea? He really can't decide.] That's up to you, but... you won't tell her either, will you?

[He's pretty certain that Loki wouldn't do that, but he can't help double-checking. This is a serious deal.]

[complicatedliar]

No. I have no reason to do that. And I know you'd rather I kept that a secret.

[selfhelp]

[Well. That's an enormous relief.]

...Thanks. That actually means a lot.

[complicatedliar]

I hear it is one of those things friends are supposed to do. I thought I'd give it a try.

[selfhelp]

Mm, it is. Well done.

[He still gets a little thrill when he hears Loki acknowledge the word, so even that helps to cheer him up a bit.]

[complicatedliar]

[Have an ironic little bow.]

So glad you approve.