selfhelp | [voice/written/action]

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Hey, ah... Vision - I mean, Jonas - of the Young Avengers got sent home. Sorry, if you knew him.

[Why is he always full of bad news? Ugh... let’s try to be less depressing for a while.]

There’s something else I wanted to talk about today: since I got here almost a year ago I’ve noticed how there’s this huge range of cultural norms across the multiverse- which makes sense, different worlds have different standards, I get it. People who are accepted in one world aren’t tolerated in another. Luceti’s kind of an anomaly, where there’s really not much, if any prejudice. I mean, there’s the whole Malnosso versus Us mentality, but that’s because of what they do, not what they are. Basically what I’m saying is that I think that’s great, and I want to do my part to keep encouraging that universal acceptance here for the people who might not be able to get it back where they come from, open up discussions to people who might not be sure about who or what they are, um...

Okay, this is a really roundabout way of saying I want to start an LGBT club. If you don’t know what that means, here’s a breakdown:

[Below is a jotted list-

L = Lesbian = girls attracted to girls
G = Gay = guys attracted to guys
B = Bisexual = guys and girls attracted to BOTH guys and girls
T = Transgender = People who feel like they were born in the body of the wrong gender (or genderfluid)
*Q = Questioning = Anyone not sure about the above or if they apply

And then it returns to voice.]

Those are really oversimplified, and there's still a lot of other words people use to define themselves, but you get the gist of it. I’d really like to meet up with anyone who matches any those descriptions, or feels like they might, or are just curious about it. I’m gonna put up some posters with suggested meeting times and places, but if you have any questions or just want to talk about it, you can use the journal (it’s okay to be anonymous!) or come right to the school. I’ve got a table set up and I’ll be here pretty much all day. I don't know if this is going to go anywhere, but it's worth a shot, right?

One last thing- we’re looking to make this a safe place, so if you plan to come just to make fun of people: we have a Hulk.

[And true to his word, Billy will be at the school, curled up in a chair at a plain table littered with papers. He’s designing posters and doodling various symbols to use for logos. Come bother him if you like?]

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[ she takes a seat, draping her arms over the chair's back. ] I have some questions, Billy. About your definition of questioning.

Oh, uh. Okay. Anything specific, or just...?

[He gestures vaguely, because he can probably fire off a good ramble, but she might as well get a chance to cut him off at the start.]

[ a deep breath. ] Billy? I'm gonna temporarily break the whole don't-talk-about-me-like-I'm-not-real rule. But only for this. Okay? It's just that...

There's no one else that really might know the answer. About me. And something I'm apparently gonna do. Or should I say...someone.

[.....

.....

.....

oh

my

god

no]

A... are you... are you seriously asking me to tell you who you sleep with in the future?

[ her eyes drop -- embarrassed. she understands how...twisted a request it is. but: ] N-no. Billy. I know who. A friend kinda inadvertently let that one slip a while back. I just...I don't know why. Hence the many questions I still have.

Why...

[Uh. Well, he can... understand that. If someone told him that he's supposed to sleep with a girl in the future he'd be seriously confused, too. Though it doesn't help that he had some questions about her in-comic decisions at the time, too.]

...God, I don't even know how to- do you know anything about canon continuity? Because this is going to sound like a lot of nonsense if you don't. Please tell me some of Xander and Andrew's geekery sunk in a little.

[ pairing the term canon-continuity with the names xander and andrew suggest -- at the very least -- that this might be a bit of a fanboy thing. buffy nibbles on the side of her thumb as she tries to work through the possibilities on her own.

alas: ] We're not talking about twelve-pounders, are we? [ cannon vs. canon. ] Because Jack gave me my long-guns education and I'm still pretty hazy on the whole artillery front...

[ a sigh. ] All I know is what Andrew told me. Accidentally told me. That there's me and there's one of my Slayers and...you know, personal orientation choices aside? I'm deeply disappointed in myself for falling for the old Hot for Teacher routine.

[Well, so much for that. Okay, here goes with the big explainy goodness.]

Okay, uh... you know what, I'll just be up-front about it with you. The show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" was mostly directed by this one guy, who created the whole franchise. It was on TV for seven seasons, and it was really good for the most part. At the end of seven, it ended because the actress who "played" you - remember how I mistook you for her when we first met? Yeah - decided she was done. So then it switched over to comic form. The semi-official "season 8". And... it was kind of hit and miss. A lot of people think it kind of sucks, actually? Then again, season 7 was a tough act to follow... oh, uh, that's when Sunnydale collapsed, by the way. That was the finale.

[Steering away before he starts going into really uncomfortable territory though ~~as if this isn't bad enough~~.]

Anyway, uh... hot for teacher. Right. The Satsu thing was temporary, and you - comic-you - told her as much. Like... experimental. Good, but not really your thing. But I thought it was totally out of character, and to be honest it was kind of weird, and Joss Whedon didn't even write it so I basically just pretend it didn't exist...

[And then he makes himself shut up because he's dissolving into another fanboy ramble, and doing that with her is probably just rude.]

[ the issues are complex. the information is heavy. and buffy clearly needs a few moments to swallow all these bitter pills. to hear that it was really good is somehow heartening, but everything about actresses and comics and seasons makes her go pale.

sunnydale collapsed; that was the finale. buffy -- even years later -- can remember the sun warm on her face and the flood of relief as she saw the crater. worth smiling over. to have it described as a finale makes it seem so -- well -- final.

but nothing prepares her for the next claim. ] Experimental. [ horrified. had she used the girl? taken advantage of her feelings? ] That...doesn't gain me many points in the hero category, does it?

[ pretend it didn't exist. can she do that? maybe. ]

I don't see why heroics have anything to do with it. It was consensual, you were both old enough, and apparently it was good for everybody involved, so whatever. People are allowed to have sex without feeling guilty about it.

[He shrugs, expression fairly dismissive; regardless of his feelings on Buffy's character when it comes to this, his thoughts are pretty much the same across the board when it comes to sex these days. It feels good, it's fun, people should be allowed to do it with whoever they want.

[ guiltless sex is such a new concept. even now, it could from time to time be difficult. buffy proceeds carefully, scared of what billy might already know: ] That's great and all, but -- I kinda hoped my days of using the people around me were over.

[Ah, yes. That. He pauses, not sure if there's a way to put this delicately, and then just goes for broke and says it straight. She knows what he knows, so at least she knows he's speaking as an informed observer.]

Don't just assume that you were using her. Contrary to popular belief, casual sex can be fun and harmless.

Happy sheet times and harmlessness aren't two things that go together in my...well. [ the unspoken current of conversation suggests he already knows what he's kind enough not to outright say.

she's grateful for that. ] As long as Satsu didn't end up hurt. She's gonna be amazing, some day. She kinda already is. Sometimes, here, I start using all my free time to figure out how I can best restructure and administrate the whole damn organization. Satsu deserves a squad of her own.

[ or -- perhaps -- buffy is already pre-emptively trying to put distance between herself and the girl. ]

[Billy's starting to get a sense of that - the rise of the awkwardness, or at least a second rush of it - so after a moment he turns a bit in his chair to fiddle with his pencil a bit, doodling aimlessly on a scrap piece of paper as he speaks up again.]

Honestly, if I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about your future. There's enough worlds out there that experimental-lesbian-Buffy might not even be meant for you. It could be some alternate universe that only exists in a comic book writer's head. Until it happens to you, it isn't really you that does it.

[ a soft hum -- as if she's trying to decide whether it's safe to agree. ]

Thanks, Billy. I...thanks. It's not something I could talk about with just anyone around here.

...I'm not sure if I should be honoured by that, since I kind of got it on account of unfairly knowing too much, but I am. You're welcome.

Unfair advantages sometimes come with upsides. Helping people, for one. Helping me. [ does she feel helped? maybe. maybe not. but just speaking with billy has calmed some of her nerves. ] I'm used to being the object of prophecy, but never quite like this. And it was all a little too easy to think that that...whatever I do, I'll do it for the wrong reasons.

Even Slayers get to have a bit of harmless fun sometimes. You're too hard on yourself.

Someone has to be hard on me, Billy.

"Has to" is so... definite. Why do you think that?

...Have you ever noticed how nice people are? Here? Too nice, sometimes. I sometimes wonder if I maybe get away with too much.

You make it sound like you're some terrible selfish schemer. What are you doing that's so much worse than anyone else?

You mean...besides shirking my birthright?

...Is this a Slayer thing?

[Because last he checked, Buffy was still working hard at that stuff back home.]

Four years here, Billy. Four years and I'm the Slayer. What do I have to show for it? One glorious battle whispered about in the guide and which some newbies come and ask me about from time to time. But then I met the General on the field again and he...

The first time -- the time I defeated him -- must have been a fluke. And all I am now is a rusty has-been.

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[action ] I hope wiki has not steered me wrong b/c billy is all about accuracy

[action ] SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.

[action ] rock on

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