selfhelp | [voice/written/action]

Entry tags:

[voice/written/action]

Hey, ah... Vision - I mean, Jonas - of the Young Avengers got sent home. Sorry, if you knew him.

[Why is he always full of bad news? Ugh... let’s try to be less depressing for a while.]

There’s something else I wanted to talk about today: since I got here almost a year ago I’ve noticed how there’s this huge range of cultural norms across the multiverse- which makes sense, different worlds have different standards, I get it. People who are accepted in one world aren’t tolerated in another. Luceti’s kind of an anomaly, where there’s really not much, if any prejudice. I mean, there’s the whole Malnosso versus Us mentality, but that’s because of what they do, not what they are. Basically what I’m saying is that I think that’s great, and I want to do my part to keep encouraging that universal acceptance here for the people who might not be able to get it back where they come from, open up discussions to people who might not be sure about who or what they are, um...

Okay, this is a really roundabout way of saying I want to start an LGBT club. If you don’t know what that means, here’s a breakdown:

[Below is a jotted list-

L = Lesbian = girls attracted to girls
G = Gay = guys attracted to guys
B = Bisexual = guys and girls attracted to BOTH guys and girls
T = Transgender = People who feel like they were born in the body of the wrong gender (or genderfluid)
*Q = Questioning = Anyone not sure about the above or if they apply

And then it returns to voice.]

Those are really oversimplified, and there's still a lot of other words people use to define themselves, but you get the gist of it. I’d really like to meet up with anyone who matches any those descriptions, or feels like they might, or are just curious about it. I’m gonna put up some posters with suggested meeting times and places, but if you have any questions or just want to talk about it, you can use the journal (it’s okay to be anonymous!) or come right to the school. I’ve got a table set up and I’ll be here pretty much all day. I don't know if this is going to go anywhere, but it's worth a shot, right?

One last thing- we’re looking to make this a safe place, so if you plan to come just to make fun of people: we have a Hulk.

[And true to his word, Billy will be at the school, curled up in a chair at a plain table littered with papers. He’s designing posters and doodling various symbols to use for logos. Come bother him if you like?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ the issues are complex. the information is heavy. and buffy clearly needs a few moments to swallow all these bitter pills. to hear that it was really good is somehow heartening, but everything about actresses and comics and seasons makes her go pale.

sunnydale collapsed; that was the finale. buffy -- even years later -- can remember the sun warm on her face and the flood of relief as she saw the crater. worth smiling over. to have it described as a finale makes it seem so -- well -- final.

but nothing prepares her for the next claim. ] Experimental. [ horrified. had she used the girl? taken advantage of her feelings? ] That...doesn't gain me many points in the hero category, does it?

[ pretend it didn't exist. can she do that? maybe. ]

I don't see why heroics have anything to do with it. It was consensual, you were both old enough, and apparently it was good for everybody involved, so whatever. People are allowed to have sex without feeling guilty about it.

[He shrugs, expression fairly dismissive; regardless of his feelings on Buffy's character when it comes to this, his thoughts are pretty much the same across the board when it comes to sex these days. It feels good, it's fun, people should be allowed to do it with whoever they want.

[ guiltless sex is such a new concept. even now, it could from time to time be difficult. buffy proceeds carefully, scared of what billy might already know: ] That's great and all, but -- I kinda hoped my days of using the people around me were over.

[Ah, yes. That. He pauses, not sure if there's a way to put this delicately, and then just goes for broke and says it straight. She knows what he knows, so at least she knows he's speaking as an informed observer.]

Don't just assume that you were using her. Contrary to popular belief, casual sex can be fun and harmless.

Happy sheet times and harmlessness aren't two things that go together in my...well. [ the unspoken current of conversation suggests he already knows what he's kind enough not to outright say.

she's grateful for that. ] As long as Satsu didn't end up hurt. She's gonna be amazing, some day. She kinda already is. Sometimes, here, I start using all my free time to figure out how I can best restructure and administrate the whole damn organization. Satsu deserves a squad of her own.

[ or -- perhaps -- buffy is already pre-emptively trying to put distance between herself and the girl. ]

[Billy's starting to get a sense of that - the rise of the awkwardness, or at least a second rush of it - so after a moment he turns a bit in his chair to fiddle with his pencil a bit, doodling aimlessly on a scrap piece of paper as he speaks up again.]

Honestly, if I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about your future. There's enough worlds out there that experimental-lesbian-Buffy might not even be meant for you. It could be some alternate universe that only exists in a comic book writer's head. Until it happens to you, it isn't really you that does it.

[ a soft hum -- as if she's trying to decide whether it's safe to agree. ]

Thanks, Billy. I...thanks. It's not something I could talk about with just anyone around here.

...I'm not sure if I should be honoured by that, since I kind of got it on account of unfairly knowing too much, but I am. You're welcome.

Unfair advantages sometimes come with upsides. Helping people, for one. Helping me. [ does she feel helped? maybe. maybe not. but just speaking with billy has calmed some of her nerves. ] I'm used to being the object of prophecy, but never quite like this. And it was all a little too easy to think that that...whatever I do, I'll do it for the wrong reasons.

Even Slayers get to have a bit of harmless fun sometimes. You're too hard on yourself.

Someone has to be hard on me, Billy.

"Has to" is so... definite. Why do you think that?

...Have you ever noticed how nice people are? Here? Too nice, sometimes. I sometimes wonder if I maybe get away with too much.

You make it sound like you're some terrible selfish schemer. What are you doing that's so much worse than anyone else?

You mean...besides shirking my birthright?

...Is this a Slayer thing?

[Because last he checked, Buffy was still working hard at that stuff back home.]

Four years here, Billy. Four years and I'm the Slayer. What do I have to show for it? One glorious battle whispered about in the guide and which some newbies come and ask me about from time to time. But then I met the General on the field again and he...

The first time -- the time I defeated him -- must have been a fluke. And all I am now is a rusty has-been.

It's not your fault this place isn't infested with monsters on a daily basis. Heck, for the sake of my own safety and that of everybody else? I'm glad we don't all have to look over our shoulders when we go out at night. Besides, don't you think you've earned the right to have a sort-of-normal life for a while?

Maybe I have earned it, but it doesn't make it any easier to look my friends in the eye when they show up and I have to tell them how long I've been stuck here.

I dare anyone who's been here for more than a couple of weeks to do better. It doesn't take long to recognize how annoyingly powerless we are around here, after all.

We're all in this boat together. Yeah. I know. But...

[ and here's another toughie: ] When he was here, Spike as good as called me institutionalized. And maybe I shouldn't be taking Spike's words of all words as gospel, but he made a point and the point was sound.

I didn't see him doing any better.

[He's not sure if it's a naturally developed protectiveness of Buffy or disappointment that one of his favourite ~~characters~~- ...childhood idols...? whatever- would say something so unpleasant to someone he's supposed to love. But, then, he doesn't know about timelines or canon or even context and he's not comfortable asking, either.

So he stews quietly about it instead. This is hard.]

[ as deeply as it had stung, buffy does believe in some dark corner of her soul that spike had been trying to help. the vampire had been desperate to get a rise out of her. desperate to make her feel.

all the same, she couldn't outright forgive him for what he'd said. ] Ha. Well -- Spike never is the brightest of bulbs or the sharpest of tacks.

I think it's the tightpants. They cut off circulation or something.

[Nevermind that he's a vampire and therefore dead and god-knows how circulation works for them. This isn't about logic.

It still wasn't a good thing to say to someone- that's not how you help people.]

Combined with too much peroxide poisoning.

[action ] SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.

[action ] rock on

[action ]

[action ]

[action ]

[action ]

[action ]

[action ]

[action ]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]