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[Okay, so. Post-draft, he's given himself a few days of seclusion and bed-rest (apparently being infected with a zombie virus is exhausting), and even Billy can freely admit to himself that he's been pretty depressed lately, a fact for which he feels no shame considering that depression was well and truly earned. One can only spend so much time fretting, moping, and dwelling on one's own misery for so long, however, and today? He's decided that enough is enough. Billy will be going out today, limping around the village and visiting the people who were on the draft whose fate he's still uncertain of. The ones he can't find or has no reason to actually visit, he'll check with a light location spell, and he'll spend a few hours at Seventh Heaven people-watching out the window while he doodles in a book that Teddy had given him containing a series of patterns (much like this) that resemble inkblogs, and bit by bit Billy's turning them into something like this instead. It's been a tiring week, though, so you could always catch him napping on the table, instead.

At some point he'll attempt to find Peter, and when both a location spell and a teleport fails, he tries to teleport to the apartment he'd been staying at instead, finding it almost completely emptied. All he manages to dig up is a small cartridge that, after a moment of scrutiny, he identifies as a web fluid cartridge. His fanboyish glee at the discovery is tempered by the fact that the empty apartment means one more piece of bad news.

After his visits and window-watching is done, he'll return home to make the announcement, along with one more message-]

Hey out there... just wanted to let his friends know that Peter Parker went home. So... sorry. Yeah.

[Locked to Loki]

...We still on for tomorrow, or do you want to take a break? Because... you know. [Draft. Awfulness all around. He wouldn't blame Loki if he wanted to take a week off.

Later on in the evening he'll be over at Ben's barbeque, if anyone wants to bother him while he's there.]

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[If the touch on his shoulder surprises him, he doesn't let it show; instead, a big smile finally crosses his lips, probably answer enough to the very idea of wanting out.]

Isn't the whole point of a draft that you can't get out of it?

[Rogue propped one hand on her hip and sighed at him in mostly mock exasperation.]

You're gonna argue semantics with me while I'm givin' you a chance ta get out of trainin' sessions with Wolverine?

I like semantics. Semantics are important. And Wolverine is terrifying.

[He shrugs his shoulders, leaning on the counter.]

Seriously though, I'm... honoured, really. I can't deny that the thought's crossed my mind a few times, even back home. The X-Men always seemed like such a tight-knit team... I really admired that.

[She smiles a little, some of that rare softness showing.]

We are. Bein' an X-Man, it's like bein' a family. When the whole world's against you... [She shrugged a little.] ya take what you can get.

[That was, as near as she could pick out from what she'd heard, the main difference between the X-Men, The Fantastic Four, and the Avengers. Everyone still hated and feared mutants. While the other superhero teams were admired.]

Well, I'll take it. Even if it comes hand in hand with training with Wolverine. I won't die horribly, will I?

[Teddy would probably take offense to that. But hey, at least he's had some training already- not like he'll be starting from scratch.

And don't think he didn't see that little softness there, Rogue. HE IS PLEASED.]

If ya do die, it's 'cause it's for your own good. [A short pause.] You can bring Teddy if ya want. [A quick grin.] Heh, an' Tommy. Maybe I'll get a bunch of red bows an' stick 'em on your head. Logan's been goin' stir crazy.

[And one hand came up and rubbed over her heart.]

...Red... bows?

[Should he not ask? That sounds like one of those "I don't want to know" things.

Red bows.

...Oh, right.]

Are we Christmas presents now?

[And what's up with the chest-rubbing? Should he be concerned?]

For me, maybe. Ya don't wanna know what it's like bein' the only one he's gotta train. [She assessed Billy quickly and then lowered her voice a little to show that she was being serious.] It'd probably do ya good. Though I won't lie - it'll be terrifyin'. But he knows how ta program stuff to challenge your powers.

[After all, they'd all had to run reality-warped sims once Wanda had kicked their collective ass.]

[He considers that for a moment, giving it the sort of consideration that a tone that serious deserves. He's been challenged a few times since he arrived here - drafts, missions, various battles - but not nearly as much as he had back home. Truth be told, he's probably been slacking off.]

However it goes, I'm sure I'll learn a lot... I'm looking forward to it.

[A genuine smile.]

Good. I'll let him know you're interested.

[And then she crossed her arms under her chest.]

Maybe you can put your new magic lessons ta good use.

[Eyebrows up.]

[Aaaand that launches him right into panic mode, though he does try to hide it. Loki told her? He wasn't supposed to tell anyone!]

Wh- magic lessons? Who said anything about that?

[...oh good Lord, child. Rogue frowned at that. She does not like being lied to. So she enunciated very carefully so that Billy could get a good look at the hole he was in.]

The guy who came around after we rescued ya, claimin' to me an' Teddy that he had a promise ta keep.

[He has a feeling he's been pretty much one-hundred-percent caught, but he can't help resisting a little longer anyway.]

...I asked him to kill me if I changed. I didn't want to risk hurting or killing anyone else... I couldn't stand it if that happened.

[Not that it had really helped with Teddy, but at least no one had died by his hand.]

Uh-huh.

[Rogue is a dangerous person. She was born that way, honed into a weapon, trained to fight. She has a short temper and can hold a cold grudge. She's dangerous when she's yelling, running headlong into a fight. But she is most dangerous in those moments when she goes completely still. It's hard to see, hard to watch for, but if you know her well, the tells are there in the tilt of her head, the hardness of her eyes, the way that she stands. And that stillness is what passed over her face now. She made up her mind. Shook it off.

Her voice was quiet.]

I think you an' I need ta have a little talk about that. I'll go lock up, if you wanna have a seat.

[...Well. Settles that, doesn't it. He opens his mouth to fight it, reconsiders, shuts his mouth again, then shuffles over to sit down in the nearest chair with a quiet huff.

It was bound to come out eventually, he just- ugh. Ugh. He'd been hoping it would be different than this.]

[Rogue walked over to the door, locked it, flipped the sign. She shut off the music on her way back to Billy, pocketing her Mp3 player as a matter of course on the way.

She took a seat opposite Billy, planting her hands against the seat of the chair as if to keep herself sitting on it. She thinks for a moment for the best place to start and then decides just to ask.]

Did Teddy tell ya what happened, after we rescued you? After Loki found us, I mean.

[Did he tell you how he felt, when Loki walked up to them and told them he had to kill you?]

[What happened? He wasn't even aware anything had happened. He'd figured that Teddy had stopped Loki from killing him and that was that. He'd gotten chided for it, but there had been no explanation...

Now he's worried.]

He didn't... really say anything about it. Just that I should have included him.

[But the reason he hadn't wanted to involve Teddy was because Teddy would've died before letting Loki kill him. And that would kind of defeat the purpose if he was a danger and needed to be put down.]

[Rogue raised one gloved hand to her temples and massaged them for a moment.

She was still angry, she realized, at Teddy for what he'd said. And she was angry at Billy for what he'd done. And if their reasons really were what they were...

Her psyches screamed at her in accusation - Monster. Murderer. -- well, who was she to try and shake someone from their ideals?

Except when their ideals are plumb stupid. Or deadly. Or would result in hurting themselves and others.

She made a small frustrated sound and dropped her hand back down.]

You asked Loki ta kill you if you became a zombie.

[It's said like a statement, but it's a question too - waiting for confirmation again.]

That's... what I said, yeah.

[Or. Well, sort of. He should probably expand on that a bit.]

I mean- I asked him for a favour, and... he said he'd do it. I didn't have to ask- he already knew what I wanted. [Which says something about how the draft was going for everyone at that point, really.] It's not like I wanted to die or anything, or... that I was giving up, if that's what you're worried about. I asked him to do it so if I had to die, if someone had to take me down, it wouldn't have to be Teddy.

[He clasps his hands together in his lap, fingers squeezing each other tightly.]

He's already... he's gone through too much already. I didn't want him to have to go through that.

[...well, that certainly described a level of intimacy in Billy and Loki's relationship that Rogue really did not want to get distracted by right now.

She leaned forward, confident in the distance between them, and sought his eye.]

An' why. The heck. Were you givin' out the kill order on yourself when for anyone else you'd have wanted 'em ta be restrained and held for a cure? There are a hundred ways ta take someone down without killin' 'em. And you - you wouldn't even give yourself a chance?

[Much as she tries to meet his eye, he doesn't lift his head, his gaze fixated on his hands. She's scary to look at right now, and hell if he's going to endure her gaze if he can avoid it.]

Yeah, because that worked out so well for Captain America.

[He knows people could be locked up. He'd seen plenty of them in that state, and he'd seen how well the proto-cure worked with Pepper, too.

But. But. Escape was possible. And so was death, and murder, and maiming of people he knew, people he loved. His friends, his family.

Is it so hard to believe that he didn't want that?]

[That was a cheap shot and she reacted instinctively:] It worked out just fine for Logan. We had ta keep him locked up an' guarded from the first night.

[She wasn't going to get through to him if she was angry, but heaven help her, it made her shake. They had come so close to it being all for nothing.

Rogue took a controlled breath.]

Your life isn't worth so little, Billy. You've got people who care about you. Killin' off all the folks who got infected might've been the safest thing ta do... but what would that make us?

[No different than them. No different than the ones who wanted to kill mutants just because they were dangerous. No different than the Malnosso. Above all things, you had to value life. Or else why was she even alive at all? She was a walking monster, a weapon, anything in her that was good or natural had been twisted to steal the very souls of other human beings. She should be dead, if all the value to life was other people's safety.

And she didn't know it, not fully, but this was at the core of why she wouldn't allow anyone to kill Logan, why this had affected her so strongly. Because by Billy's reasoning, she should have been killed a long, long time ago. And so should have most mutants.]

Edited 2012-11-16 07:55 (UTC)

[At that, he does look up, his eyes hard, defensive and angry. He dodged a bullet, he knows, and maybe he made a bad call, but given the choice again? He's not sure he'd have chosen differently. Not because his life has no value- he knows how much he's worth, and it isn't nothing.]

Mutants aren't monsters. Mutants have free will, thoughts and emotions, the ability to understand right from wrong or friend from foe. That isn't what a monster is. And I told you- it was supposed to be a last resort- if there was no other choice. If it was a choice between me or someone else, someone healthy and sane.

[Like her, or - god, Pepper, the real victim on the day Cap died - or Teddy- if someone, if Loki had been there before he lost it and attacked Teddy and there'd been no way to save them and bring them back- he'd have been very, very glad for that promise, because Teddy would live and he'd be spared the knowledge and memory that he'd eaten alive the one he loves more than anyone in the world.]

I don't care. I don't care how it sounds, to you or to anyone else. I would rather die than take someone else's life. Anyone's life, but especially the life of someone I love.

[There's a pain in his voice that can't be measured, memories and history and a lot of unspoken fear. But there's determination, too- pure conviction. The voice of someone who doesn't regret his choice at all.]

[Rogue didn't look away from him. Initially confused about where he was coming from, Rogue recognized that this - this had to be out of some personal experience. She could practically see it on him. And when she spoke, her voice was quiet.]

An' just what [she had to pause to keep her voice modulated] do ya think I had ta do to get you and Teddy out? Hold hands with the zombies an' sing kumbaya? [She leaned forward, intent.] You don't wanna kill anyone, fine. I can see that means a lot to you. What do ya think it means ta me?

[Her eyes were filled with shadows.]

Edited 2012-11-20 06:42 (UTC)

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