selfhelp | [IC] Appointments Post

[Late in the afternoon Loki pops up to Billy's floor in the community housing to drop off his solstice gift. He'd planned to just leave the scarf on his bed, but it seems Billy is around so it's really easier to do this. No need to be so mysterious. And since Billy is there in person, Loki can go ahead and put the ward on him as well. Loki is a paranoid man and he's taking no chances.]

Good day, Billy.

Edited (html fail) 2012-12-25 07:51 (UTC)

[Wow, hi, surprise visitor. Billy's brows lift when he sees who it is, but he's far from displeased.]

Oh, hey. To what do I owe this visit, good sir?

Solstice gifts. [He offers Billy a little wrapped package. While that is acting as a distraction, he readies the ward, to be cast when Billy takes the package. It's a subtle piece of work.]

[Solstice- oh god. Billy's accepted the package before it clicks, and his eyes widen, leaning back in surprise.]

Wh- seriously? But I don't even celebrate- and I don't have anything for you!

[Loki drops the ward on him and continues speaking as if absolutely nothing has happened.]

When last I checked, giving gifts wasn't contingent upon receiving ones in return.

Well- yeah, I-

[He pauses, his thoughts derailing as he feels a sudden shift. Whether it's in the air, or something between them, he can tell something different. And not accidentally, either.

He glances sharply at Loki, his brows furrowed- not quite suspicious, but definitely quizzical.]

Did... did you just- was that you?

[Well, damn. Loki does a lightning quick calculation on if he can pass it off or excuse it, but Billy's obviously made a lot of progress in just a few months. Lying is ultimately not going to win him anything, which is aggravating.]

I'm pleased you noticed. [Okay, well maybe that lie will help things.] A ward. I've been given reason to be concerned about rather... random acts of violence, I'm afraid.

[Well. Good to know that he's made that much progress. Billy glances down, holding the package in one hand while he turns the other this way and that, cautiously reaching inwardly with his own magic to feel for exactly what Loki had done. He can't recall ever having a spell cast on him before, so he's fascinated by the experience rather than being angry like he probably should be.]

A ward... what's it do? And what happened to get you so worried?

[Belatedly, he realizes another thing-]

...You realize you basically just admitted that you're worried about me, right?

It shall call me if you are seriously injured, killed, or distressed.

[His lips thin out.]

Apparently there is someone named the Joker about. He left a box on my porch with a trap inside that likely would have killed or maimed me had I been mortal. And he has no reason to want me dead in particular; apparently he just enjoys hurting people at random. [Why yes, there is a strange look of distaste on Loki's face.] It gives me reason for concern until I can locate to him and see to the problem. Perhaps even after, if he's truly that mad.

[His eyebrows go up.]

You're my student. [And his friend, though he thinks probably he should leave that unspoken. Does it really need to be said? He remembers Billy crying on his shoulder quite keenly.] Of course I care, and it would follow that I worry.

Edited 2012-12-25 09:18 (UTC)

...Oh. Oh, geez, the Joker, I completely forgot-

[Suddenly stricken, Billy turns away and takes a few steps back into the apartment, gesturing for Loki to follow.]

I'm glad you're okay. That guy... he kind of only exists in books where I'm from, but he's horrible in all of them. And you're right, definitely crazy. I hope no one was seriously hurt because of him...

[Though it's likely that someone was. Maybe even died. He almost starts a mass-location spell to check on everyone he knows, but he's pretty sure that would either backfire terribly or wear him out, so he somehow manages to quell that particular urge. For now, anyway. At least he knows Teddy and Sabriel are okay...

For right now, though... he carefully sets the package down, his expression serious.]

That ward spell... it sounds really useful. Can you teach it to me?

[Loki follows Billy.]

Yes, I can teach you the spell.

[He hesitates, but then continues on. He can't just assume about these things.]

I'd rather... keep it quiet, if you please.

Keep quiet about you putting a spell on me?

[He lifts a brow, puzzled again.]

Wouldn't that be kind of a dead giveaway that I'm hanging out with you anyway?

[Loki considers just leaving it at that, but the problem is, if he teaches Billy the spell, Billy will know what to look for.

He rubs his chin with his hand.]

There are a... ah... very few other mortals I feel similarly concerned with.

[....wait

wait

no]

You're actually going to cast spells on a bunch of people and not tell them?

[A beat, and then-]

Oh my god, you weren't even going to tell me either, were you!?

Edited (7 wut) 2012-12-25 09:50 (UTC)

[His eyebrows go up.]

What of it? If you hadn't noticed, you would not know. But you did, and thus you get to learn something new and interesting.

[And then he gives Billy a look.]

Hello, ordinary mortal! I know I am a... oh, how does it get put? Right. I know I am an evil, mass-murdering psychopath of a villainous and hated god, but I would like to put a magic spell on you and I promise it'll only be for nice things, all right?

Don't be snippy, this is serious.

[Billy scowled, shaking his head with visible disapproval.]

Whether you're an evil psychopath or some kind of charity-loving saint doesn't matter. Using magic on people you care about without permission is just a dick move.

[And he's not happy with the idea of being a part of that kind of deception.]

I am utterly serious. [He raises an eyebrow.] And I've never been compelled to do so before, over the last thousand years. Magic is just one more way of interacting with others, natural as breathing.

[And you don't ask permission to do nice things for other people, like healing or protecting them. You also don't ask permission to do nasty things.]

If I were changing everyone's hair color, I'd think you had more of a point.

No, you're basically spying on them. Which is way worse than a prank. It's an invasion of privacy, and they have a right to know about it.

[He leans back against the table behind him, arms crossing over his chest.]

Why is it so important that you keep it a secret, exactly? Most people would be glad to hear that you're trying to look out for them. I mean, I assume that if you give a damn about these people then they must at least treat you decently. More than that, they're probably your friends, whether or not either of you admit it. So what are you worried about?

...Billy, I'm a god. I don't require permission to do what I think is best.

[Sigh.]

To begin with, several of the mortals I watch over are children, and their parents despise me. [He smiles thinly.] Their parents can go hang for all I care.

[Well, then again, he can always just ask, and if they say no put the spell on them anyway. It isn't like most of them would be able to tell, though then they might go ask Billy and ugh.] Spying? You really are making a mountain from a mole hill.

And you're smart enough to know that being a god doesn't mean anything to anyone here. You're just a wizard with an big ego to most people.

[He shrugs his shoulders, unwilling to bend on this, but recognizing that Loki's not likely to up and agree with it, either.]

I'm sure you'll do whatever you want anyway- I can't stop that, and I'm not about to start a big fight over it. But you can't expect people to think well of you if you sneak around doing stuff like this- harmless or not, it's still a breach of trust. And I can't keep this kind of secret from people, either. Ask them. Otherwise if I notice it, I'll tell them myself.

[Don't you just love having a magic bro now, Loki?]

[Loki laughs.]

Breach of trust? What trust? [No one trusts him anyway. They never do. No one thinks well of him, either. There's a certain freedom to it.

...except Rogue, in her own way. Blast, if this is something the humans are going to be so strange about. He's going to have to talk to her, he supposes. This will be an unpleasant conversation. This thought, he gives no sign of.]

[Dryly:] Enjoy explaining how you are so intimately familiar with my magics.

[He shakes his head.] But this is what I do not understand in the slightest. You call this spying and seem terribly upset, when in fact it is the farthest thing from. It means I needn't spy at all, which I really think works out best for everyone involved. Why is this even an issue?

[Because this is also true. In the scramble after someone trying to kill him again it didn't even occur to him that this could be an issue, not that he would have been stopped even if he had thought of it. Why would anyone object to this on the general principle? It seems to him the main objection is just that it comes from him, which was another reason to be quiet. Only that doesn't seem to be Billy's problem at all.]

Edited (Last edit I swear) 2012-12-25 15:24 (UTC)

[Wow, ouch. Billy feels a wave deeply-rooted misery flare to life within him, much as he tries to quell it, and he has to glance aside, still visibly uncomfortable. That? That hurt. And he has to wonder if Loki even realizes it did- and if so, how much. Trust... earned trust is important. He can't even fathom how little Loki seems to comprehend this- how little he values the trust he's been offered. And this vaguely defeatist attitude is going to get him into trouble, and soon, if it hasn't already.

He's glad that Loki carried on a bit more beyond the first few sentences he'd spoken; it gives Billy time to bury that fresh wound as best he can before responding.]

I... don't know if I can explain it to you in a way that'll make you understand, if you don't already. It's about honesty. Using magic on people without permission- you've got a lot of power, you know? And that can be scary. It can intimidate people. And scaring and intimidating people is no way to make friends. It doesn't hurt anybody to ask if you can cast a damn spell on someone before you go and do it. It's a courtesy you're supposed to do to earn someone's trust, and it's a necessity if you want to keep whatever trust you might have. [....] And... people do trust you, whether you believe it or not.

[The wound flares again, sharp and full of bad memories. After all he's shared with Loki, at this point? The parts of himself that he's offered freely, despite any misgivings, despite the man's history, despite knowing he's a murderer and an enemy of most of the people whose opinions he values more than anyone else? What the hell does Loki even think that was for? It really hurts, to hear it brushed aside so casually, and he's trying not to let it show again with marginal success.

Just... ignore it. Move on. Pointing it out would probably just earn him another "hey guess what I'm Loki and evil and kill people, remember" and he really, really cannot deal with that right now.]

[Loki frowns, knowing something has gone awry but not entirely certain what.]

I find that surprising, really. I was dubbed a liar very early on and no one really trusted me after, for why would they? [Except Thor. But Thor is an idiot, and he hates Thor for reasons too many to count. But after a thousand years, you just sort of... give up trying. It's like drowning, in its own way. He laughs.] If one is not loved, being feared is far better than being held in contempt, yes? One might get more accomplished with less injury.

There are a great many reasons to not bother asking, reasons of time, or pragmatism, or secrecy, or strategy. [He raises an eyebrow.] And in the past, it was often just assumed I did magic like using my left hand, for it gave me small advantages that warriors did not have, such as knowing what might happen at a distance. I was a prince, you recall.

[In his own, oblique way, he wants to know why he should bother. He's never really managed to make friends before, and being alone becomes a habit, a way to avoid the insanity of doing the same thing over and over again and hoping for a different result. And really, what right have humans to demand anything of him? Why would he even think about calling humans friend even if they didn't hate him? Only... he does.

Slowly, he adds:] What few friends I have, you and Obi-wan and Ikki... I am far more concerned with keeping you uninjured than I am with your being angry with me. Thus I have chosen a pragmatic course.

Edited (damn you html) 2012-12-26 07:10 (UTC)

You can fear someone and still have contempt for them. Actually, I'd say it's a more likely combination than any other. I'd know that better than most people.

[In his world it's very, very obvious that people hate what they're afraid of. Why would Loki's reality be any different?]

You know... back when I first met Teddy, I was terrified of him. His original costume was modeled after the Hulk the way mine was with Thor's, so he was huge and green- moreso than he is when he changes now, even. He really freaked me out. It's not like he wanted to scare me, but it wasn't something either of us could help until we got to know each other better. We got over it, though. He learned to trust each other, and that became a friendship. And then more. We both had trust issues, but figuring out how to be honest with each other made us closer.

[He gives Loki a pointed look, finally able to focus on him again.]

Why are you acting like you can only have one or the other- the honesty, or the safety you can offer us? Why can't you have both? Would Obi-Wan and Ikki have given you permission to cast this spell of yours? Because I would have, if you'd asked me.

Oh, 'tis true. But so long as fear is stronger than hate, they are paralyzed.

[Wow what is with this look, Billy. The eyebrows go up.] I am very glad for you. [Though he wonders, if that's how it's been going, between Rogue and himself. Not something he can really talk to Billy about.] You do realize, I trust you more than I trust nearly anyone else.

[He shrugs.] I hadn't thought about it, really. The thing needed doing, so I did it. It is only now you've demanded I consider it in this light.

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