[IC] Appointments Post

[selfhelp]

Feel free to use this post for random threads, backtagging or forwardtagging, whatever.

It can be Written, Action, Voice, or just a quick call on the journal system for whatever reason.

When you tag, please put a [Style, Date] in the subject line to start it out, eg.:

[Action, January 1st]

Thanks!

Comments

[action] [1st of december] I legit cried when I wrote it out

[not_a_troll]

[Loki hasn't been sleeping much lately and he busies himself with eating Skittles, staring out of the window and heading out during nights. He is not doing well and he also knows he should break the cycle of whatever is getting him down.

But he cannot bother Saori with his problems again. Or Other Thor. He has to figure things out for himself.

He does jump up at the knock on his door, though. Quickly he moves to stand up and straightens his sweater a little.]

Come in!

[action] [1st of december] I believe it

[selfhelp]

[Billy hesitates, then opens the door, lingering by the entrance until he's sure he isn't going to be kicked out.]

Um... hey. I got your message...

[action] [1st of december] Feelings U_U

[not_a_troll]

[Loki nods briefly and motions Billy to come in.]

My apologies for the length. I did not want to become such a lengthy piece.

[action] [1st of december]

[selfhelp]

You don't have to apologize. It... was merited.

[He accepts Loki's invitation, approaching until he's much closer and halting just in front of him.]

...Can I hug you? I'd really like to hug you now. [He hesitates, and then-] You can say no.

[action] [1st of december]

[not_a_troll]

[Loki blinks a couple of times before a small smile appears on his face.]

Of course. Permission to hug granted.

[He nods briefly.]

[action] [1st of december]

[selfhelp]

...Oh, thank god.

[It's barely an exhale, and without further hesitation he moves forward to close the distance, wrapping his arms around Loki and holding him tight.]

I don't... want to say goodbye, either. I'm sorry...

[action] [1st of december]

[not_a_troll]

[Of course, a hug would not bring Thor or Leah back, but perhaps it could soften the pain a little. Loki presses his face against the fabric of Billy's shirt and squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, realizing once again how sad he is and how tired it has made him.]

That is why you looked that awful. Because it is not an easy thing to present a lot of us with perfect lives, perpetuating such an elaborated spell for...weeks.

[Loki's words were spoken in a soft tone.]

By Odin's sores...why would you put yourself through that...

[action] [1st of december]

[selfhelp]

Ha...

[It's a humourless laugh, short-lived and helplessly bitter.]

In my defense... I really didn't think it would end up the way it did. There was so much magic, I assumed I could just... hold it. That everything would be okay. But reality... doesn't like being changed that way. It wasn't meant to last.

[action] [1st of december]

[not_a_troll]

I know. [He frowns.] Even though I prefer reality...living in that delusion. It is comforting. To not have any worries. To not have any fears. To be happy.

[Because Loki knows he is not happy right now. He feels awful. Beyond awful, even.]

I understand your sentiment. I understand the gratification it might give you. That is why I refer to it as an act of selfish selfnessless.

[Loki sighs deeply, chewing his lip afterwards.]

I am sorry I could not forgive you back then.

[He is still holding on to the taller guy, fingers digging into his shirt a little.]

[action] [1st of december]

[selfhelp]

It's okay. Really, it is.

[He's not about to blame anyone for needing to hold on to that hurt and anger for a while. He knows how harmful the whole experience had been.

He's also not letting go or pulling back- not until Loki is ready.]

You don't have anything to apologize for. Your feelings matter a lot more to me.