selfhelp | [IC] Appointments Post

[That surprises him a little, his brows furrowing. They'd tried to do it? With their power? That's... reckless. No one has this kind of power on their own. He knows that it isn't all his, after all. Whatever he's borrowing it from is something different, something older and much stronger than his own abilities. It's the only reason he'd succeeded.]

What happened?

[She can't even try to lie to Billy. Besides the fact that he may be the only one who can understand what she's going through. Maybe.]

... I couldn't hold on to the magic. ... I slipped, and-- Anja died. [That's the first time she's said the name since it happened. It tastes like ashes and copper in her mouth. ]

...That's impossible.

[His voice is firm, his lips pursed into a tight frown.]

She doesn't exist. She never did. You can't kill what isn't real.

[Wanda looks up at him, confused and a little angry, despite herself. That's almost exactly what Rogue had said. Why? Of course she exists! Or at least she had.]

She did exist! She was alive and as real as anything. [Wanda is slightly confused why she is arguing the point. If Anja wasn't real, then that means Wanda isn't a murderer. But it feels-- wrong, somehow to just brush aside someone's death as being 'not real'. ]

I brought her back, after everything went away. I just-- I couldn't keep her here. [She looks away again.] I tried. ... I tried...

[Billy shakes his head again, painfully calm, unfazed by her passion.]

You can't create real people out of magic. Not even... whatever's in me right now could do that. You can make constructs, illusions, but it's all fake. The only thing you killed was the lie I created. And... that's on me, not you.

[He spent a week living in that lie, knowing how it was all falsified, never meant to last. It's why he didn't sleep. It's why he was so drained when it was finally over.

You can change reality for a while, but you can't pull life out of nothing. And magic always has a price.]

[Wanda rankles under her powers being called "illusions," sitting back, lips pursed. ] ... ... I know what I did. ... I know what I saw.

[She bites her lip, wanting to lash out at him with her words, to try and hurt him for being so dismissive. But her anger quickly turns to uncertainty, and her uncertainty to despair. After all-- what did she know? She was nothing more than a silly girl with more power than brains. She'd felt his power. It was the same as hers.

Her train of thought derailed there, as a few thoughts piled up on top of one another. Her friend? Her son? They had the same power. Their brothers could have been the same person, almost. How could there be so many similarities? She still felt for him-- wanting to care and nurture him. But she also felt inferior to him, which was not a motherly feeling at all. It was all getting mixed up in her heart and her mind, and it was giving her a aching feelings in both places.]

.... Who are you??

[He was wondering when she would ask that. He knew it was coming, of course - from the moment she entered the room, he knew. And now he's not sure whether he's glad of the change in subject or not. He can argue the mechanics of magic until the world ends if he has to, but this? He could never be ready for this.

But he asked for this, in a way, by creating that reality. By making her a part of his and Tommy's. Whether he likes it or not, she has a right to know.

The truth is inevitable. For now, though, all he wants to do - all he can do - is helplessly delay it.]

I'm... Billy Kaplan.

[She shakes her head. Why is he making this hard?] .... Are we-- I don't know. Are we... the same person? But different universes? [That sort of thing happens here, right? That could be a thing? God. She'd almost prefer it. ] Is that why our magic feels the same?

Or.

... why was I your mother?

[And there it is.

Billy looks down at that, carefully avoiding her eyes. Evade, evade, evade, e-]

I told you... I was adopted.

[...evade...]

... You did. [For once, you'll get no help from her, Billy.]

Edited 2013-10-20 04:48 (UTC)

[Dammit, dammit, dammit- she isn't- why today, though-]

I wasn't supposed to tell you...

[Alright, she'll help a little. She can feel her heart pounding, for some reason. Can he hear that?] Wh... Why? Why not tell me? Tell me-- what?

[It... does make it a little bit easier. That she asked for it again, more directly. Like he can shrug off some of the responsibility.

Tommy's going to be angry with him, isn't he.

We'd promised, but...

He bows his head, closes his eyes, and just... lets it go. No more lies; he's too exhausted to try hiding it anymore.]

My name - my first name - was William... Maximoff.

That's... that was your name-- just now. Before. ... Where we were all happy. [God almighty, she feels like her heart is going to pound right out of her chest. She has to start breathing manually, not unlike how she does when she meditates. Which is just as well, because she needs to control herself right now. her fingers slide under her legs, pressing them between her thighs and the chair so they can't move.] I... we're... related. Aren't we?

[At first, he merely nods; what more of an answer does she need? But... that's not fair. To leave her hanging. She deserves to know the truth- and all of it, not just bits and pieces.

He doesn't know if he has the ability to explain it all in his state, but he should at least share what he can. While his mind's clear enough to try, anyway.]

That's... that's why you were my mother. Our mother.

[Breath. Breath. In. Out. Breath.] I... I... I'm... [Her breathing is on it's way from 'meditative' into 'hyperventilating' territory, as she tries to wrap her brain around this. Her eyes dart, as she very quickly cycles through a number of emotions. Fear. Confusion. Excitement. Joy. Sadness. Curiosity. Betrayal.

She doesn't really know what to do. There are too many conflicting thoughts. Too many emotions. She's not even thinking about controlling her magic right now, so there's no hex aura to warn when a pitcher of water on one of the end tables starts rattling dangerously, as if it's about to go flying across the room. The walls bow out ever so slightly, as well, but somehow do not crack or break, as if they're made of rubber.

So many questions. So many things to say and feel and do. So she does what she can. If Billy does not rebuke her, she will wrap her arms around him in a big, tight, silent hug.]

[He doesn't rebuke her, actually. He's too stunned by the unexpected embrace to even try. It takes him a long moment, but at some point he lifts the arm not currently in a sling to tentatively hold her back, holding his breath as he does so. Is this okay? Is this really happening?

Is she... okay with it?

It's not what he thought would happen at all.]

[It's not that she's not angry. She is. She is also weird the hell right out about all the connotations, and she has a million questions. Not the least of which is "Why did you lie to me?"

But.

She has a family, again.

She's not alone, any more. Family means so much to her. It means having a place to belong, and people who love you unconditionally, despite whatever fuckups you may have.

And that's what she's demonstrating here. Has Billy fucked up? Yes.

But she's not going to let that drive her away. She'll be angry later, when they can both deal with it a little better. For now, there are hugs. Hugs and an attempt to normalize breathing.

She is not that attentive, so she may end up holding him in a way that is not comfortable with is injuries, unintentionally. ]

[It takes him a little while to notice the pain, too caught up in the moment, but when it hits him, it hits hard. His body stiffens, his arm at her back dropping a little, a soft, muffled whimper escaping his lips.

He doesn't protest her hug - won't, can't, because he's wanted this for so long, and he's done so much that he deserves this pain and more - but he can't stay silent about it the way he'd like.]

[It takes her a second after his whimper to realize what the sound was-- what she's doing. She draws back from him, quickly.] O-oh...! Sorry! I'm sorry! [Something in her head laughs. She's apologizing to him? After everything that's happened?]

[He leans back when she releases him, shaking his head at her apology, though that doesn't stop him from placing his hand over his wounded shoulder somewhat protectively. It hurts, but he doesn't blame her.]

Don't apologize. Not for that. Not... not ever.

[It felt good... to be held by her. It felt safe. How could it ever be a bad thing?]

I... didn't mean to hurt you. ... You're still-- injured. [Her lips twitch at an uncertain smile, anyway. She knows what he means. It doesn't stay for long though, before she's back to peering at him with serious eyes full of a million questions.]

... What... what can you tell me?

...I'm not sure yet. I wasn't even supposed to tell you that...

[His voice is faint, struggling a little; so many secrets and hesitations and wondering that he's carried for so long. What it would be like to be her son, what it would be like to know her that way, how she'd feel, did she want him. And he knows that she's not really- he has a mother, and the Wanda who brought him into this life wasn't this version, not by far. But he wanted it. He wanted to believe.

Still, that was... reality. And he needed to cling to reality now, lest he be lost in his own fantasy again.]

I know that... we're from different universes. I have no way of knowing if I'm going to be a part of your future. But I know... I know it's true. From the moment I was told, I believed. I'm the son of the Scarlet Witch of my world.

Why-- why did I give you up? I can't believe I would ever... ever...! [Is that something he would even know? Wanda can't believe that any incarnation of herself would willingly let her children go.

Which-- AHHH. Kids. Sure, she's used to thinking of them in the potential sense, but there's a building meltdown over the weirdness of actually having them here. Of thinking things like "my children" and having it be real. WHAT THE HELL.]

You- she- you didn't.

[He's not sure if he should be correcting her on the technicalities, because this Wanda hasn't done anything, for good or ill. He doesn't want her to criticize herself for something she played no part in.]

We were taken away from her. By someone... evil, so he could boost his powers. She thought we were dead, and... things got really bad for a while. And then she went missing.

[A drastic oversimplification, but even in his state of mind he knows better than to tell her about the reality she'd constructed for the world, or the decimation of mutantkind that had followed thanks to her spell. All because she'd lost her kids.

God, how he sympathizes with that now. Even knowing Teddy had never died hasn't closed that particular wound yet.]

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