selfhelp | [IC] Appointments Post

Entry tags:

[action],
[voice]

[IC] Appointments Post

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[It takes him a little while to notice the pain, too caught up in the moment, but when it hits him, it hits hard. His body stiffens, his arm at her back dropping a little, a soft, muffled whimper escaping his lips.

He doesn't protest her hug - won't, can't, because he's wanted this for so long, and he's done so much that he deserves this pain and more - but he can't stay silent about it the way he'd like.]

[It takes her a second after his whimper to realize what the sound was-- what she's doing. She draws back from him, quickly.] O-oh...! Sorry! I'm sorry! [Something in her head laughs. She's apologizing to him? After everything that's happened?]

[He leans back when she releases him, shaking his head at her apology, though that doesn't stop him from placing his hand over his wounded shoulder somewhat protectively. It hurts, but he doesn't blame her.]

Don't apologize. Not for that. Not... not ever.

[It felt good... to be held by her. It felt safe. How could it ever be a bad thing?]

I... didn't mean to hurt you. ... You're still-- injured. [Her lips twitch at an uncertain smile, anyway. She knows what he means. It doesn't stay for long though, before she's back to peering at him with serious eyes full of a million questions.]

... What... what can you tell me?

...I'm not sure yet. I wasn't even supposed to tell you that...

[His voice is faint, struggling a little; so many secrets and hesitations and wondering that he's carried for so long. What it would be like to be her son, what it would be like to know her that way, how she'd feel, did she want him. And he knows that she's not really- he has a mother, and the Wanda who brought him into this life wasn't this version, not by far. But he wanted it. He wanted to believe.

Still, that was... reality. And he needed to cling to reality now, lest he be lost in his own fantasy again.]

I know that... we're from different universes. I have no way of knowing if I'm going to be a part of your future. But I know... I know it's true. From the moment I was told, I believed. I'm the son of the Scarlet Witch of my world.

Why-- why did I give you up? I can't believe I would ever... ever...! [Is that something he would even know? Wanda can't believe that any incarnation of herself would willingly let her children go.

Which-- AHHH. Kids. Sure, she's used to thinking of them in the potential sense, but there's a building meltdown over the weirdness of actually having them here. Of thinking things like "my children" and having it be real. WHAT THE HELL.]

You- she- you didn't.

[He's not sure if he should be correcting her on the technicalities, because this Wanda hasn't done anything, for good or ill. He doesn't want her to criticize herself for something she played no part in.]

We were taken away from her. By someone... evil, so he could boost his powers. She thought we were dead, and... things got really bad for a while. And then she went missing.

[A drastic oversimplification, but even in his state of mind he knows better than to tell her about the reality she'd constructed for the world, or the decimation of mutantkind that had followed thanks to her spell. All because she'd lost her kids.

God, how he sympathizes with that now. Even knowing Teddy had never died hasn't closed that particular wound yet.]

[She nods. That makes sense. She would never let... family go (and yes, let's think of it as 'family' for now, save off on the 'my children' bits until they're more manageable). Not willingly. Someone would have to take them from her. ] .... I... she must have fought for you. ... Did she come back?

I've heard that she does. Kind of. [He fidgets uncomfortably.] I mean- we go looking for her, in my future. Tommy says we find her, and... I don't know much, besides that. It hasn't happened for me yet.

[Until he got here he was still waiting, and wondering.]

... wow. [She sits back, letting all of this sink in for a minute, not bothering to fill the silence that stretches out as she does.]

... This is-- a lot.

I know.

[Really, what else could he say? She'd asked, but... he'd kind of forced her into that corner. This is what he'd been trying to protect her from, this intensity, this uncertainty, this... weight. The knowledge that somewhere, someday, there are children in her future. Sort of.]

...Sorry.

No. ...No. It's ok. I mean. It's-- weird. Really weird. But... weird is sort of my life anyway. And-- at least now I... sort of... have family with me here? [She glances at him, hopefully, uncertainly. He never said anything. Is it ok? To consider him and Tommy family now? ]

[Billy glances up at her when he hears that, then down again, nervous, unsure.]

If... you're okay with that. I think I... we... we'd like that. Yeah...

I would very much like that. ... It's-- beyond weird. I can't.... Even begin to say how weird it is. But. ... It's kind of all I've wanted since I got here.

[She fidgets with her fingers a little, anxiously.]

I don't think I'm going to be... a good mother. I don't even-- know how to wrap my head around that. But... for now, I think-- I like knowing that you're here. And that... we belong together. Although-- I haven't been able to find Tommy since things-- went back.

[In a sense, her jitters are actually kind of reassuring, and it makes him quirk the slightest hint of a smile.]

Don't worry about, um... being a mom. We'd never expect that of you, and... I do have one back home. I'm not looking to replace her.

[He can't speak for Tommy, but he's in a complicated situation all on his own. And speaking of-]

Try not to worry about Tommy, either. He's fast at everything except... processing emotions, I guess. Give him some time.

... It's the same with Pietro.

[There's a momentary beat, when she realizes that how much sense that suddenly makes. The resemblance that seemed to uncanny to her. Of course. She covers her face with her hands, feeling very stupid suddenly.]

... I... have a lot of questions. ... Which-- I don't know if you can answer or want to, or... anything. They can wait though.

...

...Is there-- anything I can do help you?

[He shakes his head, though after a moment he realizes she won't have seen it.]

It's... fine. I just- there's something wrong with... my head, um...

[He shifts uncomfortably, rubbing at his forehead, then shivers and glances away.]

...It's fine. And I'll answer whatever questions I can, if... you want to ask. I promise I'll try.

[She uncovers her face, to look at him with sympathy. She knows what it's like to have something-- off in your head. A passing thought wonders if that's something hereditary, or to do with their powers. She ignores it, rubbing a hand nervously over her mouth. It's awful, to feel so helpless. ]

I do have questions. ... I sort of... I need to think first though. Or they'll all come out-- wrong. You... need to get better. And I... need to think.

...I'm... okay with that.

[In a way, he's relieved. Hugely. He has no idea how he could answer the kind of questions he imagines her asking. Probably not well. He hasn't done very well in thinking clearly since he woke up, and he doubts this would be any easier.]

I'll get better. Teddy says... [Teddy says a lot of things.] ...I'm sure I will. Then... we can talk.

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