selfhelp | [Action / Voice] evening + morning

[Action / Voice] evening + morning

[...This doesn't look like Prison #42. At least, not as he recalls it. Billy pushes himself upright in the grass, squinting in the early evening light, and absently lifts a shaking hand to his ears. There's no device there, nothing to prevent him from casting any spells... a fact he proves to himself with a wave of his hand, conjouring up a shirt to go with the unfamiliar white pants he finds himself in. What's all this about, exactly? Some new trick that Stark and Richards came up with to keep their prisoners placated? Or has he - against all odds - been freed and dumped somewhere in the wild?

What've you gotten yourself into now, Kaplan?

Cautiously he lets his magic take him up to the tree line, resting on a high branch to get a better look around. Up ahead, not far in the distance, he can see a village, but it's so small and old-fashioned that he doesn't recognize it at all. Wherever he is, it's pretty remote.

Well, whatever. What does location matter to a witch who can teleport? His priority is finding Cap and the rest of the Young Avengers. Teddy's probably flipping out right about now. Dropping back into a crouch, he sits himself down on the branch, cross-legged, and lifts his hands again, letting the glow return to them, and begins chanting under his breath-]

"IwanttobeinNewYorkIwanttobeinNewYork..."

[Yeah, he's pretty noticeable like that. Especially since he'll be there until he's discovered, pointedly not teleporting to New York. Awkward.]

[In the morning, however, things are a bit different- he's settled (sort of), he's rested (a bit), he's informed (just enough). And he's sorted out how to use the journal. Thus, around mid-afternoon, he sends out a message:]

Okay, this is weird, but... let's give it a try. Hey, uh, whoever's listening out there. I've heard there are people from all over the galaxy, and lots from Earth, especially. That's where I'm from, too. I was wondering, though- are there people living here who'd be considered "super heroes"? Here or on your own world, I mean. I'm actually-

[Actually... he really shouldn't just announce it. What if someone from the Initiative is here and remembers him when they get back to Earth? Even a slim chance isn't worth the risk.]

...I'm actually a huge fan of the superheroes from Earth! You know, heroes like Captain America, Iron Man, Spider-man... I've been a fan since I was a kid. Though I guess it's not unusual for someone from New York. There's a ton of superheroes living in the city these days.

Sorry for rambling so much. To be honest, I'm just nervous... I've never been to another world before.

[....]

Teddy? You here?

[ooc: first dibs to action (chronologically) goes to Buffy, otherwise he is free to be met wherever/whenever. Also if you could have a look at his permissions post I would be much obliged!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Could this be his lucky day? Do you know how long he's been trying to find someone to do his laundry?]

You're right--you're probably not. But the pool of qualified applicants is severely limited here.

[Or nonexistent.]

[WOW IS THAT EVER INSULTING but okay, he can deal with this. Tony with an attitude. All he's ever seen is the man trying to boss he and his friends around. This? It's refreshing.

...But it doesn't mean he's happy to be downgraded to Laundry Lad, even if Tony doesn't know his real potential. Maybe he could just magic it clean when Tony's not looking...

Fanboy. Fanboy, remember? Gotta roll with it.]

I-I'd be... honoured, then, sir. But I'm no Miss Potts.

Well, no one's Miss Potts. [They can just dispense with that possibility right away. Pepper was irreplaceable.

...Oh that was kind of a long pause. Ahem.]

Well, if you're certainly up for the job, I think I can give you a trial run. See how you do. Like an extended interview, you could say.

[He's almost 100% sure that he's going to regret this. Yep. 100%.]

So... you want me to get started, then? Like now?

[Seriously, what is he doing to himself.]

[You are quite right, Billy.]

Well--I guess I can give you a chance to settle in first, in you need it. Arriving here isn't exactly sunshine and daisies. But if you're ready to go, by all means. I've got plenty for you to do.

[This gonna be AWESOME.]

You haven't been stockpiling your laundry or anything, have you?

[He is not going to come in and do a mountain of dirty underwear. EVEN IF HE HAS MAGIC TO DO IT, THAT IS TOO MUCH.]

Not stockpiling, no. [Only sometimes! But he's been better recently. Usually this is what happens when he has more down time. He is domestic. It's scary.] But think of all the extra time I'll have to work on my research with you around. You're doing your part to get everyone home, William.

[There, how's that for a little credit.]

[Not bad, but-

....]

William? Man... not even my parents call me that.

Nicknames are part of the deal, kiddo, so you've got to give me something better if you don't want me using 'William'.

[God forbid he call you Billy.]

[Guh.]

Well... 'Billy' is my nickname, kinda. I mean, most people wouldn't start calling you by your full name, right? ...Sir?

It's pretty weak for a nickname. Tell you what--I'll keep thinking, and in the mean time, I'll stick with 'kiddo'. How's that? You should take it. It's a terribly fair deal, all things considered.

[But you can keep up with the 'sir'. It's kinda nice.]

['Kiddo'? Seriously? That's the best he'll get?

The things he does to keep an eye on people... still, it could be a hell of a lot worse.]

...Guess I can deal with that.

[For now, anyway.]

Edited 2012-05-09 06:15 (UTC)

Good! That's the spirit. You're already on the road to a promotion. [Hmm. Billster...no, that's not quite right.] My house is number fifty-seven. Pretty much as far from the center of town as you can possibly get. I hope you're a fast walker.

[Promotion to what, armor-polisher?

...ooh...]

For you, Mr. Stark, I might even jog.

[Or teleport. He can be there in about 30 seconds, soon as he finds himself a fresh set of clothes.]

[Yeah, don't act like you don't want to.]

I better make sure there's a checklist waiting here for you, then. [A very, very long checklist, Billy.]

[Sob. He can't even act.]

I'll get right on it, sir.

[If nothing else this is a good excuse to a) practice and b) meet this surreal new Iron Man. Chores? He can definitely handle. The curiosity is just too strong.

He gives it about ten minutes of perusing the journal and fetching himself something to nibble on, then with a bit of chanting and a wave of his hands he's outside of Tony's house, knocking on the door.]

Godspeed, Fanboy.

[No seriously, he's pretty stoked about this whole arrangement. Do you know how long he's been looking for an assistant? Since day one.

...Not that he'll, you know. Express gratitude. In a traditional sense, anyway.

Guess who takes his time answering the door? With a cup of noodles, no less.]

Took your sweet time, kiddo. I'll have to mark you down for that.

[Wow. This is the most domestic he's ever seen Tony Stark. Actually, come to think of it, he's never seen the man outside of the Iron Man suit except on TV.

s u r r e a l

He shrugs a bit carelessly, though, offering up a cheeky grin and attempting to toss a bit of the hero-worship of his childhood into the mix. If this is really oldschool Tony, he's worth respecting.]

I thought I did okay for my first day here.

[Just don't use that word in reference to him. That's the last thing he wants to be called. Domestic. THE HORROR.

...Oldschool probably wouldn't be a great idea, either. Tony gives Billy an evaluating look. Okay, he seems eager enough. Not crazy. This could actually work out.]

I hope you've been practicing your Snow White routine. [He ducks back inside the door.]

[Billy follows him into the house, nudging the door shut with a foot and glancing around.]

I hope you don't expect me to wear a princess dress.

[Even if he'd look fabulous in one, it's not happening.]

That's an instant demerit, so please, resist the urge. You should probably stay away from pencil skirts and blazers, too--though if you happen to find a nice fanboy-esque Iron Man shirt at one of the shops, that'd probably qualify you for a few more gold stars.

[To the kitchen. Are you ready to witness this mess, Billy. Are you. You might wish you had the help of woodland creatures.]

I'll try to remember that. [Just because he's gay doesn't mean he's gonna cross-dress, sheesh. He follows Tony further inside, pausing in the doorway of the kitchen.

What. Is this. Mess.]

...You weren't kidding.

[It is the fruits of being a lonesome bachelor when you're used to being picked up after. Yes, even after ten months. Old habits die hard.]

Me? Kidding? No, I wouldn't joke about a problem this serious. I'm not actually sure if I remember the last time I saw the bottom of my sink.

[It was probably that time he blew up his house and Robin did his dishes for him. That...was a strange memory.]

[Woooow. That's. ...Adventurous.

Billy stares at the pile about the same way any teenager might stare at a nightmare of chores.]

To tell the truth I think it's amazing you're still alive.

[Seriously how do you survive day by day in this rubbish.]

[This is, indeed, a nightmare of chores.] Trust me, kiddo, I've survived much worse than a pile of dirty dishes. [Which, right--Billy probably knows that.] You might just want to make a pile of what's salvageable and what's not--I can use the condemned plates and pans for target practice.

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voice; DW bro that is not the icon I chose

voice; I was going to say, OVERREACTION BILLY

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