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[Action, July 11th-13th]
[To say that Billy is a bit of a basket case right now would be a severe understatement. His mom is here. His admittedly teenage and therefore doesn't-know-who-he-is-and-kind-of-alternate-universe mom, yes, but that doesn't seem to make the intensity of his feelings about the matter any different. One small comfort is that they're getting along (so far), and their shared powers gives them common ground, but there's still that lingering... risk that he can't stop thinking about. That he won't be able to keep his secrets, that eventually everything will come crumbling down. He's terrified of that.
The first day, he does little else but fret and mull over it, after separating from Wanda; Teddy's kind enough to cancel any of his daily doings, since he's in no state to be pretending like everything's normal. It had been hard enough with Wanda the first time. Today, though, he feels much better. His head is more clear, he's found his center of calm, and he spent at least half the day and night before meditating so he figures he has a firm grasp on his sanity again.
There are certain things that he knows he needs to do, especially since he ditched all his usual priorities the day before, so he's made himself a list, and today he's going through it all. It is as follows: He swing by the art gallery and removes some of his work, namely anything that features the Scarlet Witch (only a couple of pieces, mind you, and they're his, but art theft is still art theft). He attends training with Logan and begs for forgiveness about skipping the day before (beg may be an overstatement of what actually happens because he isn't really sorry at all). He'll attend X-Men Training and try to perform decently despite feeling ridiculously scatterbrained. And finally, he'll probably talk to some Very Important People in the process of completing the rest of his list.
In the end, well... he's decided to track down Wanda again, maybe not now, but some time in the near future. Because despite his fears and misgivings, despite everything he's likely to say to everyone else - that it's a bad idea, that he'll mess things up, that he'll accidentally reveal himself - the temptation of sharing his powers with hers, teaching her, helping her, is too strong to resist. This is about more than a lost family, now. This is about magic.]
The first day, he does little else but fret and mull over it, after separating from Wanda; Teddy's kind enough to cancel any of his daily doings, since he's in no state to be pretending like everything's normal. It had been hard enough with Wanda the first time. Today, though, he feels much better. His head is more clear, he's found his center of calm, and he spent at least half the day and night before meditating so he figures he has a firm grasp on his sanity again.
There are certain things that he knows he needs to do, especially since he ditched all his usual priorities the day before, so he's made himself a list, and today he's going through it all. It is as follows: He swing by the art gallery and removes some of his work, namely anything that features the Scarlet Witch (only a couple of pieces, mind you, and they're his, but art theft is still art theft). He attends training with Logan and begs for forgiveness about skipping the day before (beg may be an overstatement of what actually happens because he isn't really sorry at all). He'll attend X-Men Training and try to perform decently despite feeling ridiculously scatterbrained. And finally, he'll probably talk to some Very Important People in the process of completing the rest of his list.
In the end, well... he's decided to track down Wanda again, maybe not now, but some time in the near future. Because despite his fears and misgivings, despite everything he's likely to say to everyone else - that it's a bad idea, that he'll mess things up, that he'll accidentally reveal himself - the temptation of sharing his powers with hers, teaching her, helping her, is too strong to resist. This is about more than a lost family, now. This is about magic.]
[ action ]
[ action ]
But... if I know it could hurt her, and I still do it... isn't that kind of...
[He flails his hands a bit, unsure about his own feelings - or how to make them into words.]
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Yeah.
[She glances down at her gloves and speaks, her voice low, controlled, and vehement.]
Every day I put these things on. Every day.
[She tugs one hand loose from the glove and raises her head. She stretches the bare hand out in Billy's direction.]
Wantin' to touch someone is natural, don't you think? 'course, if I were to touch you right now...
[She lets her voice trail off and drops her hand back down to her lap. Rogue starts tugging on the glove again.]
[ action ] please don't kill him rogue
This time isn't any better. Before the glove is back on, he recklessly reaches out, wrapping his hand around hers, his eyes flashing blue for a second. It's probably the stupidest thing he's ever done, and this isn't a spell he's ever tried before, not like this. But his magic is driven by willpower, and right now? Right at this moment? He really needs to hold her hand.]
[ action ] Billy, you're lucky she likes you
What in the hell--
[Reflexively, she jerks her hand away. Hard. They can't have touched for more than a few seconds, if that, but that doesn't change the fact that Billy's hand felt more like a warm rubber glove than flesh and that if he hadn't done something, she would have had one bright and shiny new resident in her head.
Almost a shame it didn't work. She would have liked to know what he was thinking.]
[ action ] he's an idiot but how can you not
[Billy bites his lip, immediately looking down; he knows how dumb that was, and he's pretty sure it didn't work the way he'd intended.]
I shouldn't have done that. I should've asked, I just- I thought-
[He's rambling - pathetically - so he stops himself for a moment, takes a deep breath, and tries again.]
Y... you're right. You could hurt me. And I could hurt you. And I could hurt Wanda, too. But sometimes, I- it's-
[He clenches his hands into fists, then spreads them again, touching the fingers of one hand to the palm of the one he'd touched her with. It doesn't feel right. Not at all.
Dammit.]
If the pay-off's good, it's... worth the risk. Isn't it?
[Then again if the risk is completely (and understandably) pissing her off again, he really needs to rethink his priorities.]
[ action ] HOW HAVE YOU NOT KILLED ME FOR THIS?
That all depends on what you want. What's the payoff here, Billy? You tell her an' best case scenario, what happens?
[ action ] would you believe I kind of forgot about it
What would be the best-case scenario here?]
...I guess... there isn't one. She's not my mom. I wouldn't ever expect her to be. I can't ask her all the questions I wanted to ask Wanda back home, if I ever found her. And I have a mom already, just as real as she is. There's... no benefit, here.
[Just a bit of selfish indulgence. God, it's like every time he thinks he's made a decision, some new reason to change it around hits him. This sucks.]
[ action ] oh good /feels much less guilty then
Well, there's one thing - secrets have a way of outin' themselves in this place. Might be better to find a way to do it before it blows up in your face.
[Wanda would not take being lied to kindly.]
[ action ] fwee.
"Find a way to do it". Sounds so much easier than it actually is.
[He groans quietly and buries his face against his crossed arms. God, why does this have to be so hard?]
[ action ]
The point I was tryin' to make before you grabbed my hand was that - yeah. It sucks for you. Even if it's good at the same time, 'cause you get a chance to know what your mom might have been like as a kid. But what you've gotta focus on doin' is what seems right for her.
[She smiles faintly.]
I know it's hard, but givin' her a head's up in a few months that you're from another world might not be the strangest thing after a few months in Luceti. But ya don't need ta get it all figured out today.
[ action ]
So... don't tell her now, but think about telling her later? That might actually make the most sense.
[Especially if what he suspects will happen is true - that sooner or later, the truth will come out whether he wants it to or not.]