selfhelp: ([billy] oh god. oh thank god.)
William "Billy" Kaplan (Wiccan) ([personal profile] selfhelp) wrote2013-07-12 09:13 pm

[Action, July 11th-13th]

[To say that Billy is a bit of a basket case right now would be a severe understatement. His mom is here. His admittedly teenage and therefore doesn't-know-who-he-is-and-kind-of-alternate-universe mom, yes, but that doesn't seem to make the intensity of his feelings about the matter any different. One small comfort is that they're getting along (so far), and their shared powers gives them common ground, but there's still that lingering... risk that he can't stop thinking about. That he won't be able to keep his secrets, that eventually everything will come crumbling down. He's terrified of that.

The first day, he does little else but fret and mull over it, after separating from Wanda; Teddy's kind enough to cancel any of his daily doings, since he's in no state to be pretending like everything's normal. It had been hard enough with Wanda the first time. Today, though, he feels much better. His head is more clear, he's found his center of calm, and he spent at least half the day and night before meditating so he figures he has a firm grasp on his sanity again.

There are certain things that he knows he needs to do, especially since he ditched all his usual priorities the day before, so he's made himself a list, and today he's going through it all. It is as follows: He swing by the art gallery and removes some of his work, namely anything that features the Scarlet Witch (only a couple of pieces, mind you, and they're his, but art theft is still art theft). He attends training with Logan and begs for forgiveness about skipping the day before (beg may be an overstatement of what actually happens because he isn't really sorry at all). He'll attend X-Men Training and try to perform decently despite feeling ridiculously scatterbrained. And finally, he'll probably talk to some Very Important People in the process of completing the rest of his list.

In the end, well... he's decided to track down Wanda again, maybe not now, but some time in the near future. Because despite his fears and misgivings, despite everything he's likely to say to everyone else - that it's a bad idea, that he'll mess things up, that he'll accidentally reveal himself - the temptation of sharing his powers with hers, teaching her, helping her, is too strong to resist. This is about more than a lost family, now. This is about magic.]
halfnhalf: ([teddy] sigh what now)

[July 11th | Action]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-07-18 09:50 am (UTC)(link)
Right?

[Teddy tries not to inject too much emotion in his voice, since the meeting still leaves him so conflicted. Instead he keeps going, focused on Billy's back and where his hands press against him.]

He met up with me later, and we just... talked for a little while. How the Kree children grew up, how I grew up, how I'd talk to a picture of my dad when I was a kid... And we hugged at the end, once.

[His hands slide up to Billy's neck, thumbs rubbing circles in the back of it with tenderness.] Billy, at that moment, for just a second, I felt like I wasn't truly alone in the world. But it was just for a second... [He slides his hands down once more.] He had to go back to his time. I thought it wasn't fair, even if I... sort of understood. [If by "sort of" he means "throw a tantrum and cry on the roof like a stupid kid".]

Then he flew off, and I never saw him again after that.
halfnhalf: ([teddy] thanks broski)

[July 11th | Action]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-07-18 10:19 am (UTC)(link)
[Teddy spares a little smile, returning the gentle hold of his fingers and momentarily stopping his massage. Not only is Billy twisted a bit to do this for Teddy, something he deeply appreciates... but this isn't really the time for it. No matter how much he'd like to be focusing on something else.]

It's okay. [He's kind of come to expect it now.]

My case is different from yours. Mar-vell isn't Wanda, especially not this Wanda. But I guess what I'm trying to say is... What are you expecting, by telling her who you are?
halfnhalf: ([teddy] shady business)

[July 11th | Action]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-07-18 10:45 am (UTC)(link)
Billy? Let's make one thing clear.

[With Billy's head tilted down again, Teddy slides his free hand up to rub at the back of his neck again, where it's likely being strained.]

It's not selfish. Take it from me. I know I felt the same thing when I flew around like crazy trying to find Captain Marvel. If there's one thing I learned from that whole experience? It's that every kid who has a real parent out there wants to know more about them. Especially if the opportunity's there. It's not selfishness. I'd be surprised if you weren't thinking about it.

[He lets a small pause go on between them before he goes on.] I'm glad you're actually taking the time to think about it. I didn't think at all before I pulled my stunt.

If you want my opinion? I think she might be better off not knowing. I can't exactly predict her actions or anything... but I don't see it going well no matter how she reacts.
halfnhalf: ([teddy] tommy can't main for anything)

[July 11th | Action]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-07-18 11:30 am (UTC)(link)
[If Mar-vell had shown up as a teenager when he flew off to meet him... Teddy probably wouldn't have told him either. Not only would it be incredibly awkward on both ends, but who knew what that would do to he himself? Maybe he'd fade out from existence like that one time, never be born.

The thought of that happening to Billy (and he'd seen it, saw that very thing happen right before his eyes and they'd only been dating for a few months and it still felt like his entire world had shattered - "teddy, help, i'm -") makes his hand pause its movement briefly before it starts up again. Even if Wanda knew, that wouldn't happen. This is a different Wanda, after all. The possibility of the Young Avengers existing in their world looked pretty grim.]


... Well. [Right, time to get his head back on the subject.] How many people know about it?
halfnhalf: ([teddy] i should check on her)

[July 11th | Action]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-07-18 11:49 am (UTC)(link)
While you're out tomorrow, or even today if they come around, tell the people who know that they should keep it a secret. That is, if you decide you're not going to tell her. It helps that we're all from different worlds than her - well, besides Rogue.

[He stops his motions again, lifting his hand entirely from Billy's back to brace his elbow near him, allowing him to lean down nearer to his head.]

You know, even if you do decide to tell her, I'll be with you on that, right? Not telling her is just my take on it.
halfnhalf: art from kaciart.tumblr.com, colored by me ([teddy] feels like falling)

[July 11th | Action]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-07-18 12:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Always.

[Teddy shifts his elbow from under him to settle on his side completely just as Billy leans in close, arm around his neck and face to his shoulder. No good hug is complete without reciprocation, so Teddy winds his own arm around Billy's back, hand resting just below his feathers, and turns his head to nuzzle his cheek against Billy's hair. They both could use this, what with Billy's situation and retelling the event that Teddy went through. And Teddy's more than happy to lay here as long as Billy needs him here - for he himself needs all the time he can get with him, too.]
halfnhalf: ([teddy] you've made my life complete)

[July 11th | Action]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-07-18 12:40 pm (UTC)(link)
[At those words, Teddy feels a smile come up - different from the one when he first changed the subject, for this one's real and genuine. His free hand, trapped as it was between them, moves up to find Billy's, where he does his best to lace their fingers together.]

I know. I know... I forget sometimes. I think about the whole... everything, and it's hard to remember when I do.

[He tightens his own grip, meaningful on its own.]

I've got you. And you're the best family I could ask for.

[Yes, he does miss his mother, and her death had left a hole in his heart that could never truly be filled. And yes, he does wish his father could have stayed, even if only for a day more.

But he's never truly alone, even if he does forget in the times when he misses his unattainable family. Because he's got one right here in his arms.]
halfnhalf: ([&billy] yup.)

[July 11th | Action]

[personal profile] halfnhalf 2013-07-21 09:41 am (UTC)(link)
[Definitely a good answer. One he knows that, a year ago or so, he might not have said so confidently. And even now, he still yearns for someone bonded to him by blood or, in his mother's case, by knowing them all his life.

But Billy is his now and forever, a presence that's by his side and supporting him through all the good and bad times. One who loves him, one who fights for him and protects him, holds him when he needs it and when he doesn't, learns from him and helps him learn as well.

How can that not be family?

With a contented sigh, Teddy presses a prolonged kiss to Billy's shoulder and tangles their legs together, then shuts his eyes and just drinks in his boyfriend's presence. He'll probably doze off like that, cozy and completely relaxed in his boyfriend's arms, but after all that happened today? This is definitely a time to stay at home with each other.]