selfhelp | [Voice/Action]

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[Today is a good day for serious business, apparently. There's a certain something he's been putting off for a while, and after one-too-many dreams interrupting his sleep, he's had enough: this morning when Billy wakes up, the first thing he does is jot out a note in the journal-]

[Private to Ben Grimm]

Hey, would it be okay if I swung by to ask you a few things?

[He'll work through his morning routine until he gets a response, after which he'll go for a visit and get a hell of a lot more than he bargained for.

After that, his mood for the day is drastically altered; he'll skip out on school, trying to sort out his feelings on the matter. Tommy's still AWOL, and he's trying not to worry Teddy, but what he's just been told has really got him thinking- about people, and heroes, and the unfairness of mankind in general. And eventually he'll just go ahead and return to his journal for it. He's kind of in over his head here.]

[Open to All]

I know Luceti's full of heroes- seems kind of a standard trait for most of us, for whatever reason. Back on my world, super-humans aren't that uncommon, and in general they're revered for everything they do for the world. Some of them were born that way, and some of them are from other planets, and some were altered to get their powers, and some have a lot of talent or skill instead of powers. But they're all considered to be super heroes. There's bad guys, too- just as diverse and unique as the heroes they fight. People fear them and celebrate their defeat.

There's another group, though... humans who got their powers because of evolution. It's much more natural, in a lot of ways. Some are heroes, some are villains. Some are just trying to get by without becoming one or the other. But regular humans fear them, and hate them for it, even if they save the world just as much as the heroes they love. They're called criminals or monsters, no matter how innocent they might be.

[He hesitates- it's probably obvious to some, what he's talking about, and he's not sure if he should lock it from the mutant population, or apologize, or something, but it relates to them even if it's not by name. Hiding it wouldn't be right.

In the end he just leaves it be.]

...Sorry for the ramble. But it's not fair, and... I just can't understand why. Why hate one and love the other, when they're basically the same?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah, massage parlour. Don't make me do air quotes Billy. No-one looks good when they do air quotes.

I don't want air quotes, I want a story. That sounds interesting.

What, you think I'm just gonna spill information like that over the journals? It's highly classified.

I can be in the kitchen in under ten seconds.

[NO EXCUSES]

Well... I suppose that I could be persuaded. Get the coffee machine on and I'll meet you there.

[Hell yes.]

It's a deal!

[ZOOM]

[Clint saunters in a short while later, smirking as he pulls out a chair and sits down.]</small. So... this massage parlour...

[Billy's already there and chilling by the coffee maker, and when Clint is seated he heads over with two steaming mugs, sliding one over and getting himself comfortable.]

Your payment, Mr. Barton.

[Clint grins and takes the coffee gratefully, wrapping his hands around it to soak in the warmth.]

Thankyou, Mr. Kaplan.

So... this place... SHIELD had got intel about it being a cover for a pretty damn huge crime ring. It was a high class place, politicians and stuff going in. And the ah... masseuses were very talented at getting information from them. And hey, it's incriminaing enough for a politician being seen going there.

Sounds sketchy enough.

[He sips idly at his coffee, leaning in with interest. SHIELD stories, how cool is this?]

Very sketchy. Very difficult to get someone in there. Can't exactly take in a wide array of surveilance equipment and bugs when you're gonna be getting up close and personal like that.

Especially when a lot of places give you a massage while you're naked.

[Unless you're going to stick a bug up where the sun doesn't shine... and that just sounds uncomfortable.]

[He gives Billy a slightly suspicious look at that. Not sure whether he's being trolled or whether Billy really believes he's talking about a massage parlour.]

You know that massage parlour is a euphemism for brothel, right?

[........................w e l l

The expression on Billy's face should tell him that he's definitely not being trolled.]

Nnnn...o... no, I did not.

[...oh god. Billy didn't know. How did Billy not know? Clint had known when he was that age.]

Why do you think that I mentioned the air quotes?

Well, I suppose introducing a minor to the seedier facts of life is one of the least bad things I've done.

[Clint, what kind of teenager do you take him for? That is not the slang of Billy's era!]

I don't know, I thought you were just being weird! My generation has the internet, when we talk about prostitutes we say there's prostitutes!

[Clint pinches the bridge of his nose. God he feels old right now.]

Well, outside the computer, in a lot of places where it's still illegal, they tend not to have blazing neon signs saying 'Get your hookers here. 2 for 1 special'.

[ff. Pffffft. Okay, that's just terrible enough to get him smiling through his blush.]

Okay, okay, so it's a... subtle massage parlor. And you had to get in there somehow?

Yeah, pretty much. The rest of the team had been doing surveilance and recon, so they might be recognised. Which left me.

Is this a crossdressing story? Because this totally sounds like a crossdressing story.

[Like one of those sleuth comedy college-guy movies or something.]

Billy, tell me honestly here, do you think there is any chance of me actually passing as a woman?

This wasn't a party of horny drunken frat boys.

Edited 2013-01-28 00:06 (UTC)

You wouldn't think that Thor or Loki could pass as women, either, but...

[You'd be amazed at man's capacity to crossdress.]

[Now there's a thought that he'd never wanted to have.]

No. No I wouldn't have. I'm not sure that I want to either.

I went in as a client. A suitcase of money and enough half-real information to make it worth their time.

Standard infiltration, if the movies are to be believed.

But I'm guessing it didn't go smooth.

[The best stories never do.]

Well, not quite. If it was like the movies I'm pretty sure the masseuse would have fallen in love with me, spilled every dirty secret about the place and we'd have escaped by outrunning a magnificent fireball explosion.

I got drugged. And tied up. While naked.

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