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[Okay, so. Post-draft, he's given himself a few days of seclusion and bed-rest (apparently being infected with a zombie virus is exhausting), and even Billy can freely admit to himself that he's been pretty depressed lately, a fact for which he feels no shame considering that depression was well and truly earned. One can only spend so much time fretting, moping, and dwelling on one's own misery for so long, however, and today? He's decided that enough is enough. Billy will be going out today, limping around the village and visiting the people who were on the draft whose fate he's still uncertain of. The ones he can't find or has no reason to actually visit, he'll check with a light location spell, and he'll spend a few hours at Seventh Heaven people-watching out the window while he doodles in a book that Teddy had given him containing a series of patterns (much like this) that resemble inkblogs, and bit by bit Billy's turning them into something like this instead. It's been a tiring week, though, so you could always catch him napping on the table, instead.
At some point he'll attempt to find Peter, and when both a location spell and a teleport fails, he tries to teleport to the apartment he'd been staying at instead, finding it almost completely emptied. All he manages to dig up is a small cartridge that, after a moment of scrutiny, he identifies as a web fluid cartridge. His fanboyish glee at the discovery is tempered by the fact that the empty apartment means one more piece of bad news.
After his visits and window-watching is done, he'll return home to make the announcement, along with one more message-]
Hey out there... just wanted to let his friends know that Peter Parker went home. So... sorry. Yeah.
[Locked to Loki]
...We still on for tomorrow, or do you want to take a break? Because... you know. [Draft. Awfulness all around. He wouldn't blame Loki if he wanted to take a week off.
Later on in the evening he'll be over at Ben's barbeque, if anyone wants to bother him while he's there.]
At some point he'll attempt to find Peter, and when both a location spell and a teleport fails, he tries to teleport to the apartment he'd been staying at instead, finding it almost completely emptied. All he manages to dig up is a small cartridge that, after a moment of scrutiny, he identifies as a web fluid cartridge. His fanboyish glee at the discovery is tempered by the fact that the empty apartment means one more piece of bad news.
After his visits and window-watching is done, he'll return home to make the announcement, along with one more message-]
Hey out there... just wanted to let his friends know that Peter Parker went home. So... sorry. Yeah.
[Locked to Loki]
...We still on for tomorrow, or do you want to take a break? Because... you know. [Draft. Awfulness all around. He wouldn't blame Loki if he wanted to take a week off.
Later on in the evening he'll be over at Ben's barbeque, if anyone wants to bother him while he's there.]
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[He's very well aware of the fact that being able to cast his spells quickly and efficiently only around people he knows is a huge risk. His magic has always been as sporadic as it is powerful, though, so he's not surprised about it, either.]
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[Unless it involves gut-punching. That's a good way to be out of breath, he knows.]
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[It's hard to imagine ever getting that far, to be honest- it had taken so much work just to get to the point where chanting could get a spell to work perfectly. And while it's true that since then he's made a lot of progress, and sometimes even been able to use his magic without chanting at all, it's never been particularly easy. Could he ever really be that strong, even with practice? His confidence has always believed otherwise.
But maybe that's what's holding him back in the first place.]
...You think I can do it?
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[Loki nods gravely.]
Yes I do. The trick will be when you think you can do it.
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When I think I can do it... He glances down, staring at his hands and focusing. He doesn't summon his magic to manifest, but he feels it there, the spark of hidden electricity on his fingertips, the thrum of energy beneath his skin, flowing through him like blood through his veins. It's there, deep and powerful and incomprehensible.
But his. Always his.
When he thinks he can do it. No...]
When... when I know I can do it.
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Yes. When you know you can.
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[It's only half a joke; corny as the books had seemed, they really had built him up into a routine of believing in himself, even if sometimes he needs an extra boost from someone else. Or just a sense of urgency. That works too.]
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I would think more practice. The more often you do something, the more you may be confident that you can do it again.
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[Sigh. Much as he hates the tediousness of repetition, it's true. Repetition and imagination are his best weapons when it comes to improvement with his powers.]
...Hey, do you ever use magic to heal? Or do gods just kind of recover automatically when you're injured?
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It is... not an area in which I have specialized.
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[His voice is quiet, almost to himself, and after a moment he looks up again, brows furrowed.]
I don't heal well. With other people it's always been hit and miss, and I've never been able to heal myself, not once.
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I never thought of it that way... but yeah, that's probably it. Though I know I can't heal people that I... don't really like. Or have a reason to be angry with them, I guess.
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[IS THAT GOING TOO FAR he's honestly not sure. But he's amused to have come to the conclusion after getting to know Loki better.
Maybe this explains Teddy's attachment to the Super-Skrull?]
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I don't see why you need an excuse at all. It's really in everyone's interest if you become better at magics.
[Some more side-eye.]
And I hope this isn't going to result in you waiting for me to sustain some sort of hideous injury so you can practice your healing.
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[Also good to know he can take that sort of joke. Billy knows he's capable of instigating many a foot-in-mouth situation, and the last thing he wants to do is deeply offend someone like Loki, regardless (or perhaps because of?) the truce.]
And... I think it's a given that most people would be against this method of improving.
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[He falls silent for a moment, expression unreadable.] Does it matter so much, what others think?
[His tendency would be to say no, because he's tired of trying to please others. But Billy has a chance at a much better life than him, he supposes, at least from a social perspective.
Not that it should matter. Nothing wrong with sitting on a throne alone.]
Though do not take me wrong. I am always pleased to keep secrets.
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[And that's the honest truth- he's never given a damn what people think of him. It's gotten him harassed, bothered, and beaten plenty of times over the years, but hell if he'd ever let that stop him. Identity is a huge deal for him.]
Most people wouldn't really understand what I'm trying to do here- why I think it's worth it. Sometimes even I don't understand it, myself. I don't need their approval, but that doesn't mean I want to get a lecture for it, either.
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[Just an advanced form of peer pressure. Why do so many adults assume that kids and teenagers have such pathetic free wills?]
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[Well, they really are, or at least nearly. When he wants to convince someone of something.]
I teach evil maths too, apparently.
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[action] This is all you get.
[action] IT'S ALL I NEED
[action] Hope you got a picture.
[action] you ruined billy and me both well done
[action] Revenge is tasty.
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[action] idk if you wanna let it fade or keep going but...!
[action] let's go ahead and fade because I can't be creative rn