selfhelp | [Voice/Action]

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[Okay, so. Post-draft, he's given himself a few days of seclusion and bed-rest (apparently being infected with a zombie virus is exhausting), and even Billy can freely admit to himself that he's been pretty depressed lately, a fact for which he feels no shame considering that depression was well and truly earned. One can only spend so much time fretting, moping, and dwelling on one's own misery for so long, however, and today? He's decided that enough is enough. Billy will be going out today, limping around the village and visiting the people who were on the draft whose fate he's still uncertain of. The ones he can't find or has no reason to actually visit, he'll check with a light location spell, and he'll spend a few hours at Seventh Heaven people-watching out the window while he doodles in a book that Teddy had given him containing a series of patterns (much like this) that resemble inkblogs, and bit by bit Billy's turning them into something like this instead. It's been a tiring week, though, so you could always catch him napping on the table, instead.

At some point he'll attempt to find Peter, and when both a location spell and a teleport fails, he tries to teleport to the apartment he'd been staying at instead, finding it almost completely emptied. All he manages to dig up is a small cartridge that, after a moment of scrutiny, he identifies as a web fluid cartridge. His fanboyish glee at the discovery is tempered by the fact that the empty apartment means one more piece of bad news.

After his visits and window-watching is done, he'll return home to make the announcement, along with one more message-]

Hey out there... just wanted to let his friends know that Peter Parker went home. So... sorry. Yeah.

[Locked to Loki]

...We still on for tomorrow, or do you want to take a break? Because... you know. [Draft. Awfulness all around. He wouldn't blame Loki if he wanted to take a week off.

Later on in the evening he'll be over at Ben's barbeque, if anyone wants to bother him while he's there.]

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[For Teddy, it wasn't just the fact that he got to hold Billy in his arms, or that they spent a second or two too long just staring at each other. No, for Teddy, that was the first life he'd ever saved a life. Sure, he'd done some good things before that, stopping a purse snatcher here, buying food for a homeless person there. But actually diving in and saving someone from imminent death... That was his first time actually doing that, even if the thrill and relief in his chest wasn't just from that.

The comment makes him let out a quiet snort, though his eyes remain on their hands. Yeah... Yeah, he remembers that, too.]

You kept staring at me like I was going to punch you in the face for moving wrong. Even though, out of us four, Eli was probably the one most likely to do that.

[God, and he remembers that they didn't even like each other at the start. Billy probably thought Teddy was too quiet and stone faced when Teddy was just having issues with trust just hours after breaking ties with his "best friend", and Teddy thought Billy was too jumpy and antisocial when he, too, was having troubles with trust as well as lack of confidence. And he'd been so scared of his Hulkling form; Teddy wasn't sure whether to be amused or insulted or even hurt. Back then, he thought they'd never be a team.

And look at them now.]

Edited 2012-11-06 10:38 (UTC)

Yeah, no kidding. And you never did- not once, not a single time, did you ever hurt me. Whether you were like this- [His thumb taps against the armored skin again,] Or not. You've never hurt anyone who needed your help. You're like the very definition of the gentle giant trope.

[He turns their hands together so that the back of Teddy's hand is faced towards him, then shifts them closer so he can press that same hand against his lips in a brief, tender kiss.]

Why would you ever think that you'd hurt someone else while trying to save their life?

Well... you know...

[There are arguments that run quietly through Teddy's head. He doesn't know how to properly do CPR, and even if he did, there'd be so many other things that could go wrong, like oh, did he mention he had super strength and it looks like CPR uses a lot of force? And just the wrong amount could lead to him making the situation worse rather than better? And what if his emotions get in the way? If it's Billy, what if he panics? There's so many things that could go wrong with his hands against someone's ribs like that.

But the thoughts soon putter out and drop completely as he stares down at Billy, feels that kiss against his hand. And... no matter how much he feels he can argue against it, he really can't think of a time, save for when he was a child and didn't know about his powers, that he actually hurt someone he wasn't fighting off. He'd always held it back; at first just to fit in and seem normal and not hurt again, and then to protect people and make them feel comfortable. It's become a natural thing now, not quite a conscious effort anymore.

So, any argument he has is forgotten by now, and he averts his eyes to look at Billy's hair instead, one clawed thumb gently stroking the back of his boyfriend's hand. Yes, he's aware of that blush across his face, and yes, he's aware that he's not even trying to shift it away. That was a very good thing for him to hear.]

I guess I could try learning it.

[Billy's response to that is a light laugh, shifting their joined hands to rest on his chest instead. With Teddy's hand shifted the way it is, it's too heavy to hold up for long, though he doesn't mind whether he keeps it that way now- he's made his point.]

Teddy, it's really simple. Learn it if you want to, not because you should. Or don't learn it because you don't want to, not because you think you can't. You're allowed to do that, remember? Do what you want? I won't gripe about you infringing on my territory, honest.

[Quite the opposite, actually. Teddy's spent far too much time in his life doing things that other people wanted him to do, being what they wanted him to be, and he could very easily have lost himself in the process. And how much of a tragedy would that have been, when Teddy, the real Teddy, is such an unbelievably wonderful, kind, and generous person?

Why would anyone ever want him to be someone else?]

Do what I want, huh...

[It's still something of a foreign concept. Just a year ago he was hanging out with groups, his hair, eyes, height and body shape completely different, even his personality somewhat different, just to pander to what other people wanted, just to be liked. And now here he is, being himself, feeling completely comfortable in his own skin.

He smiles a little, musing, while his arm slowly shifts back to human form and that blush on his face fades away.]

And now I guess we're playing memory games, because do you remember when I fell? After Iron Man shot me out of the sky?

Ha, how could I forget that? I was so mad at him, I was ready to shoot him right out of the sky.

[He looks so affronted that it might as well have been him who'd been shot out of the sky. Since the war began he hasn't needed any particular excuse to be angry with their world's Tony Stark, but attacking Teddy is the best reason in his list.]

[Pfft, he can't help feeling a little touched by Billy's anger. So he grins as he starts to stroke his hair again, as if to soothe him.]

Down, boy. [But now to talk about what Teddy wanted to say.] I didn't have any way to save myself back then, so all I could do was fall and make a crater in the ground. Good thing it isn't there anymore. Anyway... I was useless for a little while, and that's why I wanted to learn to fly. So that wouldn't happen again, so that I could be better at what I do, and help you guys more.

It's the same thing with this. I want to learn how to use this stuff [He glances at the book, seeing how his hands are either full or busy.] because I don't want to be stuck in the middle of a battlefield and not know what to do if someone I care about is hurt, or even me. I don't want to be a liability because I don't know how to stop something from bleeding. I want to help people.

[His smile widens a little.] That's why I wanted to get into the hero business in the first place. Isn't this the same thing? I just don't get to punch things with it.

[Teddy's words - on top of the hair-stroking - are enough to both mollify and sooth Billy, his expression relaxing enough to look content once more.]

Sounds like you've got the right idea. And you decided for yourself, so you get bonus points for that.

[He'd never thought he would be so proud of something so simple as thinking for yourself - the one thing he's never really had a problem with - but knowing what he knows about the difficulties Teddy experienced not that long ago, even the smallest victories are something to celebrate.]

I can teach you what little I know, but if you want to get really good at it, you should try to get lessons from the clinic. Experienced doctors can give you better advice than someone who didn't take anything more advanced than a basic first aid course.

Basic first aid is about all I can understand right now, so...

[Teddy's smile turns into a grin, and he leans down while he shifts his hair, turning it into a braided bun on either side of his head, and he gives his best puppy eyes while still grinning and even chuckling while he speaks.]

Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.

[...ff. Fffff. Pffffffft. Billy tries his best to fight the laugh, but it fights right back, and the image before him is so ridiculous that after a moment of somewhat breathless struggle he finally clenches his eyes shut and lets it go, hands lifting to press against his face in an attempt to muffle it.]

Oh mmf- Teddy, you are- oh my god, you're the biggest dork. If Luke Skywalker ever caught you doing that-

[PFFFFFFT.]

[That grin only turns more powerful as Billy makes Teddy laugh, because yes, Teddy did just make Billy burst into laughter, and he's always ridiculously proud of that when it happens. One hand, now free, presses against his forehead while he leans his head back against the couch and lets his hair turn back to normal, and wow he can't believe he just did that. But it was worth it.]

Wh-What - [He breathes out with a glance down at Billy - ] You don't think he'd find it attractive?

[YOU KNOW HE SPENT TWO MOVIES MOONING OVER HER, KAPLAN. ESPECIALLY THAT PART.]

I don't know, how would you feel if I asked you to change into Tommy for a while?

[Twincest and narcissism in one make-out session? No thank you, bf. Though at least Luke and Leia aren't identical.]

[Teddy's laughter does die down at that question, even though he's still grinning and letting an occasional chuckle escape. Come on, it's funny.]

Ha... I think I'd have to throw my hands up and say your kink is not my kink.

[jkfhsjdf]

I-it's not a kink, it's an example! An argumentative one at that!

[Griiiiiinning.]

You asked how I'd feel, and that's how I'd feel. I don't see the problem.

[Billy scowls at him for a long moment, eyes narrowed, and then something clicks, and he sits up a little, his brows lifting. He sees a chance to tease back and he is so taking it.]

What, you've never had that kind of fantasy? No secret thoughts about, you know, watching?

[Oh he sees that, Billy Kaplan, and Teddy just shrugs in response and shakes his head, arm easily winding around Billy's shoulders to support his weight.]

Not really. You moving in to kiss me? That's something I want to watch. Some other guy? Hell no.

[.....Spoilsport. 8| The wind knocked out of his sails somewhat, Billy relaxes his muscles, tilting his head back so that it bumps against the arm of the couch.]

I guess I should be saying that's good news, huh.

[That earns an eyebrow raise, though the slight quirk of his lip seems to indicate that he's not done teasing. In fact, this might have just opened the floodgates.]

What, do you want me to fantasize about Tommy sticking his tongue down your throat?

[Oh no, Altman. If he doesn't get to tease, you're not allowed either.]

Is this going to be one of those games that couples play where they dance around the kink until someone admits they like it?

We'd sure be moving on up in the world.

[After a bit of thought, Teddy gives just one little uneasy glance to the side.

If you wanted me to change into someone, I could -

Billy wouldn't. Simple as that. He'll just quickly squish that insecurity bug before it can grow to a monstrous size, seeing how he knows how fast it happens otherwise.]

But maybe you should be teaching me more about first aid, Master Kaplan.

Mm... I guess.

[Billy is quiet for a long moment at that, brows furrowed, considering Teddy's tone, and the expression he'd noticed there for a moment. Hmm... maybe he'd taken it too far? He'd assumed Teddy would know better, but maybe those insecurities aren't completely gone just yet.

Well. One way to fix that. He reaches up to grip the couch, using it as support to pull himself the rest of the way up, then turns around in his spot to face Teddy directly instead of away. It's slow-going to avoid hurting his leg, but if Teddy tries to help, he'll be batted off. It's a matter of pride, okay. Besides, his leg needs the exercise.

Especially since what he does next is use his good leg to swing the injured one over Teddy's thighs, plopping down to straddle his boyfriend, hands sliding up his chest.]

Lesson number one: how to know when a patient requires medical attention.

[Teddy had tried to help; he does like to dote on his boyfriend, after all, but he'll stop and merely hold his hand out as an offer instead upon being swatted away. Right, right, Billy's got his pride, just like he himself does, might as well offer help rather than force it.

Then Billy's straddling his hips and oh.

Should they really be playing this game? Billy's leg is still hurt, after all. But... well, there is that pride to consider. If this is what Billy wants, then he'll get it, as long as he doesn't push it. Teddy will draw the line there.

But for now, he moves his hands up to rest on his hips, then slide down to the middle of his thighs, eyes glancing down at the touches against his chest.]

I didn't know this was part of the procedure. [He looks up at Billy again, a quirk of a smile on his lips.] So. How do you know, other than the obvious signs?

[Billy's fingers brush over the material of Teddy's shirt at first, toying with it a little, then drags his hands further up, cupping Teddy's cheeks and leaning in, keeping distance enough to avoid a kiss. His expression is somewhat scrutinizing.]

Well. It's hard for your average person to notice- this kind of diagnosis requires an expert. There's a few signs here- [His thumbs briefly tug down Teddy's lower eyelids,] An excellent indicator of pain or stress. And then here- [His fingers slide up even more, lightly pressing on Teddy's eyebrows, furrowing them,] They sort of scrunch in when something's wrong. And this- [His hands go lower now, back to Teddy's cheeks, turning his head a little to the right-] The neck muscles seem to reject the idea of there even being a problem, so they try to resist facing it. And the biggest sign is here, of course. [His fingers stop on the corners of Teddy's lips.] What we have here is a part of the body that never knows what to do itself. The rest of the body is telling it to this- [He curves Teddy's mouth slightly downwards-] But for some reason, they always do this- [Upwards into a smile, now, holding it in place for a long moment.] And that's just not natural.

[Oh god what is Billy doing to his face

The moment it starts, Teddy frowns and blinks and moves his hands to touch Billy's forearms instead, because he is sure this isn't how to tell if someone needs medical attention. Of course, he should've known with the straddling, but jeez.

It takes Teddy a moment to realize what Billy's really talking about here. And he seems to look resigned as a result, and a bit guilty. The reason why he hides things like that, especially what he was thinking earlier, is because he knows it's nothing to worry about. He knows it and Billy knows it, so why bother anyone with it? You only hear about these kinds of things in girls who cry to their friends in high school about their boys and what they fear the most.

And it... didn't even used to be so bad. It was after Teddy's image of himself, already so fragile, was kicked out from under him by Kl'rt and the Kree army, rendering him from having a small sense of belonging to none at all. After that, it seemed to bleed into everything else, too, despite how much Teddy tried to stop it and didn't want it.

It's been easier, better, thanks to his friends, thank to being a hero, and thanks to his boyfriend. But it still causes problems sometimes, such as right now.

Once Billy finally stops abusing his face, Teddy averts his gaze to look down at his chest instead, his hands still touching Billy's arms. Caught, of course. Billy's gotten good at telling if something's wrong.]

Mmm. It must be serious if it isn't natural.

Then what kind of diagnosis would you give, Doctor Kaplan?

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