selfhelp | [Voice/Action]

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[Okay, so. Post-draft, he's given himself a few days of seclusion and bed-rest (apparently being infected with a zombie virus is exhausting), and even Billy can freely admit to himself that he's been pretty depressed lately, a fact for which he feels no shame considering that depression was well and truly earned. One can only spend so much time fretting, moping, and dwelling on one's own misery for so long, however, and today? He's decided that enough is enough. Billy will be going out today, limping around the village and visiting the people who were on the draft whose fate he's still uncertain of. The ones he can't find or has no reason to actually visit, he'll check with a light location spell, and he'll spend a few hours at Seventh Heaven people-watching out the window while he doodles in a book that Teddy had given him containing a series of patterns (much like this) that resemble inkblogs, and bit by bit Billy's turning them into something like this instead. It's been a tiring week, though, so you could always catch him napping on the table, instead.

At some point he'll attempt to find Peter, and when both a location spell and a teleport fails, he tries to teleport to the apartment he'd been staying at instead, finding it almost completely emptied. All he manages to dig up is a small cartridge that, after a moment of scrutiny, he identifies as a web fluid cartridge. His fanboyish glee at the discovery is tempered by the fact that the empty apartment means one more piece of bad news.

After his visits and window-watching is done, he'll return home to make the announcement, along with one more message-]

Hey out there... just wanted to let his friends know that Peter Parker went home. So... sorry. Yeah.

[Locked to Loki]

...We still on for tomorrow, or do you want to take a break? Because... you know. [Draft. Awfulness all around. He wouldn't blame Loki if he wanted to take a week off.

Later on in the evening he'll be over at Ben's barbeque, if anyone wants to bother him while he's there.]

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I'm not sure if people would volunteer to be trolled.

I find it difficult because pain feels very real. It is difficult to fight past one's own reality, and that is why healing oneself can be difficult I think. And I have never caught the knack for healing someone else without... empathizing with them.

[Billy looks startled by this revelation; he's never understood his inability to heal his own injuries, attributing it rather pessimistically to his stubborn old sense of self-loathing, but that... made an astonishing amount of sense.]

I never thought of it that way... but yeah, that's probably it. Though I know I can't heal people that I... don't really like. Or have a reason to be angry with them, I guess.

...I am not familiar with that term. Is it much like teasing?

Well, I definitely appreciate it. Nothing quite like chicken noodle soup to cheer up with.

[Loki snorts.] Those people, you probably don't feel sufficiently motivated to heal. Another thing that adds to the difficulty.

Don't you ever worry about friendly fire?

Oh... yeah. It's basically a slang term for teasing. Courtesy of Earth's internet community.

[Rogue sighed. It was easy to see that she was just mucking everything up, as usual. She hadn't meant to make him feel guilty - she'd meant to make him think.]

[She held up her hand.] Don't apologize for that. [And let the hand drop.] I told you. That's what we do.

[Offer not retracted. But... She heaved a sigh.]

But I'm askin' you ta think about this. Because to me? Askin' a thing like that is like askin' all your friends and family ta give up on you. And that's one thing we don't do.

Well, generally, if I end up in the line of my own people's fire, it means something has gone terribly wrong and being visible is probably the least of my worries.

...Internet?

Hmm... so I could use the excuse that befriending villains is a part of my magic training.

[IS THAT GOING TOO FAR he's honestly not sure. But he's amused to have come to the conclusion after getting to know Loki better.

Maybe this explains Teddy's attachment to the Super-Skrull?]

[All the side-eye ever for you, Billy.]

I don't see why you need an excuse at all. It's really in everyone's interest if you become better at magics.

[Some more side-eye.]

And I hope this isn't going to result in you waiting for me to sustain some sort of hideous injury so you can practice your healing.

Edited 2012-11-24 00:19 (UTC)

...I just... didn't want to be some kind of monster. That's all. I didn't want to go crazy and hurt someone.

[He still won't look up, because the whole situation is resonating deeply within him- because of his family, because of what he knows of his powers and Wanda's, because of what happened in the Cube, because of what he said...

More than that, though, he's confused by her. Because of what he saw. It's making him hesitate, still reluctant to ask, but... she has a right to know what he saw. And he has questions about it, too.]

Can I ask... [....just say it. Dammit, just say it.] If it was so hard for you, why are you still fighting them here?

I guess I'm too used to smaller-scale battles. I haven't really been in any huge fights with my team- just the drafts here, really.

Well. it's good to hear that you're setting limits for yourself when it comes to teaching me.

[Also good to know he can take that sort of joke. Billy knows he's capable of instigating many a foot-in-mouth situation, and the last thing he wants to do is deeply offend someone like Loki, regardless (or perhaps because of?) the truce.]

And... I think it's a given that most people would be against this method of improving.

...Oh god. You're really oldschool, aren't you?

[He can't even imagine life before the internet.]

It's like- the journal system, kind of, only with millions of people instead of a few hundred. And a whole lot bigger.

Well, I wouldn't really know what fights with this team are like...

I usually act as a sniper on missions. Find a secluded spot high up, out of the way. It's my job to remain out of sight. If I'm getting shot at by anyone, then the mission has gone to hell.

[Well, that knocked what Rogue was about to say right out of her head. She gave Billy a confused look.]

What? What are you talkin' about?

[If it was so hard for you.

That stung, it wrapped around her heart like a whip and it stung.]

The most complicated technology in my world that does not involve magic would most likely be the Qunari's cannons. The...electricity and indoor plumbing in this place is still a marvel to me.

[Loki laughs softly.] Yes, I'm afraid I'm holding back on you.

[He falls silent for a moment, expression unreadable.] Does it matter so much, what others think?

[His tendency would be to say no, because he's tired of trying to please others. But Billy has a chance at a much better life than him, he supposes, at least from a social perspective.

Not that it should matter. Nothing wrong with sitting on a throne alone.]

Though do not take me wrong. I am always pleased to keep secrets.

Mm... that's not really it.

[And that's the honest truth- he's never given a damn what people think of him. It's gotten him harassed, bothered, and beaten plenty of times over the years, but hell if he'd ever let that stop him. Identity is a huge deal for him.]

Most people wouldn't really understand what I'm trying to do here- why I think it's worth it. Sometimes even I don't understand it, myself. I don't need their approval, but that doesn't mean I want to get a lecture for it, either.

[The feel of Billy's hand against his bare back makes Teddy let out a quiet groan into the kiss. Okay then. He pulls back to break the kiss, only to tilt his head to whisper in Billy's ear, first with sweet nothings as he slides his hand from Billy's pants to under his shirt instead, and then he ends up whispering rather dirty nothings instead, punctuating it with a push of his hips.

Yes, he knows, somewhat hazily, that they can't go all the way, don't really have the time for it. But damn, he can definitely still tease about it, especially since this is pretty much the only time he ever really wants to talk like this.]

[Billy's fingers scrape lightly over the skin of Teddy's back, both feet pressed against the bed to brace himself as he lifts his hips to rub against the blond. This is starting to make him seriously consider being late to the barbeque, because- well, because. The words Teddy's whispering in his ear are only goading him on, and he tilts his head to nibble roughly against his boyfriend's neck. He doesn't really care if it won't leave any marks- he just really wants to keep up the contact right now.]

...mm- ...'m gonna wash your mouth out... with soap, Altman...

Ha... Well, that'd sure be a... a turn off. Besides, you - like it, Kaplan.

[Teddy shuts his eyes and presses his cheek to Billy's temple while he nibbles against his neck, the sensations making his fingers curl into the pillow and a weak grin to grace his lips. It's honestly getting a little harder to remember that they have a barbeque to attend soon - rather, remember that they should be there on time. Not when they can be doing so much better things, like Teddy sliding his hand further up Billy's shirt to caress his abdominal muscles and his lower torso, then down, to unbutton those pesky pants that are in the way.

But... But. Teddy does not move his head away, because he'd like to keep up the contact too, though he take in a hiss of a breath before whispering heavily.]

You know... we've got somewhere to go later.

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