selfhelp | [IC] Appointments Post

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[IC] Appointments Post

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[And he's just even more annoyed. He paces nearby, throwing his arms up as he speaks.]

Well, you know the mutant basics. The world hates me for who I am, and looking like a big blue devil only puts me up higher on the charts! My mother abandoned me as a child, she's someone who's responsible for horrible things, and now she's dead, and I don't even know who my real dad is, and oh right! You remember that we have to deal with that Apocalypse guy, too. Maybe we'll manage to beat him with a number of us coming out alive. Now my sister's dating a wholly different kind of bad guy, you brought my girlfriend back as my wife just to make her disappear and now I feel guiltier about seeing anyone else here than ever, and you made me think my mom was alive again! Not to mention giving me a family and true acceptance, and... true happiness.

So there. You can start with that for apologizing. [And then he turns back at Billy, pointing straight at him.] Or should I say, don't! Because that's my point. You don't feel sorry for something if you have to be told what it is!

[Billy doesn’t respond to that for a bit, just taking it in, his eyes fixed on his lap. Nothing that Kurt had said was particularly wrong, of course. It’s just not something he’d really wanted to hear. It’s not like he believes that he’s blameless - far from it, actually. But he doesn’t want to accept blame for something he didn’t do, and a lot of that…

...he can’t say that, can he.]

...You can believe what you want… but I am sorry for the pain I caused you. I wanted everyone to be happy, but it backfired… it all went wrong.

[He closes his eyes at the moment as he feels something so unfamiliar - a white-hot fury rushing through him. And he wonders. Is this what Rogue felt when he faced their mother on the cliff?

But he's better than that, he knows that. He roots himself in the values he was raised with. He remembers what the bible said of forgiveness. And he suppresses that feeling, so he can let it out later, on something inanimate.

When he opens his eyes again, they are softer, more sorrowful and full of pity. He speaks in a tense, shakey voice.]

Maybe... maybe I can accept that one.

[Billy watches him for a moment, taking in that expression, then ducks his head and hugs his knees close to his chest. He's not sure if that's better or worse.

Don't hate me, but...

...don't feel sorry for me...]

You don't... have to. If you don't want to. But it's the truth.

[He finds himself tensing up a bit again.]

It's not like I'm forgiving you! [And then softening again.] I just... am going to accept that that's what you're sorry for.

[Kurt had always been quick to forgive. This time, it just felt... so, so much harder.]

I believe that much.

[Billy can only shrug. He's not asking for forgiveness, here. He'd never expect it. But he'd apologized. There's really not much else he can do, is there?]

Thank you... for that.

[He shakes his head, still struggling in figuring out what he wants from this.]

Just... just never do that again!

I won't. I promise, I won't...

[He's not sure how, considering this all happened because he was manipulated, but... there has to be a way of preventing it. Some kind of failsafe. Or even a power lock...

He'll be thinking about it, that's for sure.]

Good.

[He doesn't know what more to say. At least not without letting that beast within him out again. He needs time alone, time to process this.

Maybe Billy needs to be alone too. Maybe that's how he'll learn.

He hesitates for a moment - opens his mouth briefly. But then he closes it and his eyes. He shakes his head and then proceeds to bamf away.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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