selfhelp | [IC] Appointments Post

I wish it was.

[God, wouldn't it be convenient to just blame them and move on? Dust it all under the rug as another experiment and forget it ever happened? Rather than it be him... rather than have it shatter everything he knew and loved and held on to.

He'd hurt so many people. Of course it wasn't that easy.]

They... did something to me. When I was taken. I can still feel it... in my head...

[He lifts a hand to grip at his hairline, grimacing. It's an excuse, he knows. It was him. But they didn't help.]

H-Hey, try not to think about it too much right now. I'm sorry for asking about it.

[Holding up a magic spell for all that time must have taken a toll on him -- nevermind the other injuries he's gotten because of it, physical and mental. She didn't come here just to make him feel worse.]

Why don't we talk about something else? I mean, fixating on something isn't really conducive to feeling better, you know?

[That makes him relax, if marginally, and let his hand drop again. He doesn't... really want to talk about that stuff now, anyway. Not with someone he only really knows from another experiment.]

Like... like what...?

[He's not very good at this, with his head such a mess. He doesn't want to talk about it, but he can't stop thinking about it, either.]

Uhm. I don't know, maybe... uh...

[Come on Kari, do something nice for once in your normal-life. Maybe it'll get his mind off of recent events for a little while.]

Actually! Uhm. There's... another reason I came to see you. I mean, obviously seeing if you were okay was kind of the big one, but the other thing is kinda big too, just... not entirely related, I guess.

[He blinks at that, tilting his head curiously to one side. Something big she needed to talk to him about? What important thing could she possibly have to say to someone like him?]

Okay. Okay. So, uh. We actually knew each other before. I mean, before the whole invasion thing happened. And normally I wouldn't say anything, but in a village this tiny, it'd be kind of hard to keep up the charade of pretending to be two people to the same person, you know? So. Uhm.

[That probably just came out in a big ramble, so it's no fault of Billy's if he can't keep up with it. Thankfully, this last part has a sizable pause -- it's the only actual important thing, anyway.]

...I'm actually Hoshikyo. This is what I really look like.

[He's actually pretty well-versed in ramble-speak, but in the state his head's in, it's a little hard to follow. The confession is... really unexpected, though it makes the fact that she's telling him in the first place a lot more understandable. He knew her. He knew Hoshikyo. Them being the same person is... wow. It's like night and day.

He's been there, though- or at least, he's seen it. Peter did that, while he was around. His real self, and Spider-man, and Billy had been among the very few to know it. Billy himself just never bothers with a secret identity because his costume isn't great for disguising him.]

...Why is that important? [Wait, that came out wrong.] I-I mean- why... the charade?

[Thankfully, she misses the rather blunt first question, since the sudden release of tension after spitting it out causes her to deflate just a bit. She's... never really told someone like this before. Certainly no one who knew both sides of her to any real extent -- at most, she's mentioned having a secret identity and that was that. Everyone else who knows found out by accident.]

Well... I mean, come on! Why do any super heroes have secret identities? It's not like magic is common place in my world. And it's easier not having to worry about making your enemies mad if they don't know your face. I've... kinda sorta made my fair share of enemies across the multiverse. If any of them ever wind up here, I don't wanna have to start living like an outcast.

[Even if some of them could trace her magic back to her home, given the general lack of it throughout her world, they wouldn't necessarily associate her with the same girl who kicked their asses later.]

...but besides that, let's face it, if you looked like Hoshikyo whenever you used your magic, you'd lie about it too.

[Dem curls, man. She can't do anything with them.]

[He pauses at that, thinking cautiously on everything she said. Finally, after a long moment, he cracks a tiny smile. That last part...]

Okay... good point, I guess. Why do you have to look like that? Can't you choose your own disguise?

[The whole concept is pretty alien to him- not secret identities, obviously, but not being able to decide who or what your alternate self will be. It's why Wiccan is so similar to his real self; the truth is, he never wanted to be anyone but himself. Thus, a disguise that really... isn't.

God, it's a miracle he was never recognized by the people who knew him. Totally a Clark Kent thing.]

[Wow, did she actually get him to smile? She'll go ahead and call that a win for today.]

Unfortunately not. It kinda came with the magic.

But that's pretty typical in my genre. I mean, did Sailor Moon get to choose to run around in a miniskirt and gogo-boots? It's tough being a magical girl! I'm just thankful my magic didn't come with bazooka boobs or a stripper outfit...

[...The mental image that one brings.]

Sorry... I don't know much about magical girls. But costumes can be pretty ridiculous sometimes... and I do understand the importance of keeping a secret identity.

[Which brings to mind one other important question.]

Why tell me?

Well. It's like I said before, right? It's tough enough keeping up two identities in a village this size without dealing with overlap. It's just easier this way. And... you're a superhero too, so I can trust you won't just blab my secret everywhere.

[Even despite the whole magical-mind-takeover that happened, she still trusts him more than a lot of other people in the village. But she's no going to just say that outright.]

...and besides. I'd much rather have someone like you know than someone like Beardface, who found out on accident.

["You're a superhero."

To hear that, after what he'd just done? It's kind of mind-blowing. And it's nice, even if he doesn't believe it anymore.]

Well... thanks, I guess. For trusting me with it. I won't tell anyone.

Good to hear! Because if you do tell anyone, I'll have to kick your ass. Nothing personal of course, those are just the rules.

[Despite her light tone, she's very serious. Billy may have crazy powers that can mess with reality, but Kari can still throw a pretty good punch to the face when she has to.]

Ha... kick away. I probably... need it anyway.

[At this point, it's not like he'd fight back.

Still, he wouldn't spread it around. What would be the point?]

Well, if you're gonna pull up an attitude like that, maybe I will?

[She understands it. Probably even better than she'd be willing to admit, having played a role in inadvertently causing countless people to suffer in other worlds just by existing there. But that doesn't mean she's going to just let him wallow in self-hate. It eats at you -- it's definitely not a good coping mechanism.]

But I guess I'll have to wait until you're walking around again first. I mean, kicking the ass of a guy who can't even try and run away... what fun is that?

Edited 2013-11-18 04:47 (UTC)

I thought superheroes weren't supposed to run away from a fight.

[...Ah. Wait.

He's not a superhero anymore.]

Well, yeah, maybe the stupid ones. Why stay and fight if you know you'll just get your ass handed to you? Then you'll just wind up becoming someone else's problem when they have to come out and save you. Sometimes, it's a lot smarter to run away.

[Which is clearly a very serious and delicate issue that she's obviously put a lot of thought into--]

I mean, unless you like the whole dude-in-distress thing, I guess. You never know what some weirdos are into these days.

[--or not.]

Weirdos?

[Gurl does he have to go all social-justice-warrior on y-

...nngh. He doesn't even have the energy for that.]

Nothing wrong with a guy getting saved once in a while.

Of course there isn't! But there's a big difference between a guy who needs saving because some all-powerful bad guy kidnapped him, and a guy who needs saving because he can't save himself. Especially if the latter got in trouble while trying to play the hero. That's just sad.

[She may be talking from experience here.]

Is a hero who tries and fails really that much less of one than the hero that succeeds?

[Falling in battle is supposed to be pretty heroic and grand. You know. Historically. And theoretically. Or something like that.]

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