[IC] Appointments Post

[selfhelp]

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[selfhelp]

...Sorry.

[What more can he say, really? He doubts it's really that simple - Loki's always been kind of paranoid and prone to think to worst of the people Billy's grown up respecting and feeling fascinated by, but his paranoia has slivers of truth. And without Thor or Odin around to offer up the other side of the equation, he has no argument.

Either way, it sounds terrible. And if that's what Loki believes was his fate - to be exiled to a terrible place by his own family - then no wonder he hates them.]

I guess with Odin it's... not as simple as just saying no.

[complicatedliar]

[Hearing someone simply apologize, rather than try to argue with him, leaves him somewhat mollified. Loki nods.]

Odin is the king of Asgard... for now. His word is absolute.

[He'd once been a terrifying, awe-inspiring figure when he'd been a little boy. Loki saw the lie of that now. Conniving old man, though not a fool, was Odin.]

It all went a bit wrong. [He falls silent for a moment.]I saw no way out.

I sent the Destroyer to Midgard, to keep them distracted. To kill Thor, really, before he and his friends could come for me. And I still had some mad notion that with only one prince remaining, Odin would have no choice to keep me. [To love me.] Hah. Fool that I was; we can't have a monster on the throne of Asgard, can we? But I wasn't thinking particularly clearly by then.

At any rate. I lured Laufey form Jotunheim to Asgard, and slew him there. [Slain by a son of Odin. Hah.] Then went on to try to rip that cursed realm apart with the Bifrost.

Thor destroyed the Bifrost to protect those monsters he'd wanted to personally hammer to dust himself. And threw me from its shattered end.

[His tone has become increasingly quiet and cold.]

Into the black hole.

[selfhelp]

[Ah. A bit wrong, he says. Sounds like a lot went wrong, and Billy doesn't even know how to take it. And he suspects, if Thor were here, that he really would get a different story, if only due to motives. Killing an entire race, perceived monsters or no, is just wrong.

But you can't just say that sort of thing to Loki, can you? And no matter who's side of the story you're on, it all sounds terrible. He can't even fathom having that degree of falling-out with... anyone, really.]

Is that how you ended up on Earth?

[complicatedliar]

[Loki laughs, his expression beginning to go a bit strange and stiff. It not a healthy sort of laugh. He needs to stop talking about this.] Oh no. I did not find anything so pleasant as that on the other side.

[selfhelp]

[It takes a great deal of self-restraint not to let how disturbing that laugh was show on his face, or body language; at most he goes still for a moment, considering both it and the words that followed. Finally he gestures questioningly, waiting for Loki to continue. This sounds important.]

[complicatedliar]

[Loki has no intention of continuing; he doesn't wish to recall that time in any kind of detail. He takes a deep breath and gives his head a little shake, beginning to sit back up.]

I made my way to Thor's beloved realm later. And the events there, you already know.

[selfhelp]

[Worth a shot, anyway.]

More or less, yeah.

[And he won't pry about it; he has enough feelings about the matter of his hometown getting blown to hell, alternate-universe or not.]

Thank you... for telling me.

[complicatedliar]

It's not a story many seem to wish to hear. [He laughs.] I suppose I should thank you for not arguing with me. [Because most people seem to want to defend Odin, to interrupt and tell Loki what he did was wrong.]

[selfhelp]

I'm not sure what I'd say to argue. I wasn't there, and I seriously doubt anything I could say would convince you of anything different than how you feel.

[He shifts awkwardly, then leans back in his seat.]

Besides, if I sat here judging you for it, what're the chances you'd trust me with anything like this again? I'd rather just listen.

[complicatedliar]

No, there is nothing you could say or do. [He laughs.] Telling someone they are wrong to feel something is like telling the tide it is wrong to ebb.

[Which is why the point is often to use what emotions exist rather than try to change them.]

I wouldn't bother with you again, I should think. I had my fill of being judged centuries ago.

[selfhelp]

Well, there you go. Two good reasons not to argue. But for what it's worth, I'm not really interested in pointing fingers.

[complicatedliar]

What are you interested in, then?

[selfhelp]

The truth, mostly. Equal representation. Justice, in a sense. Everyone's got a right to share their side of a story before they get thrown under a bus for it.

[complicatedliar]

Hah. Justice. [No such thing exists.]

Well, now you have it.

[selfhelp]

[Oh, the arguments they could have about that. Instead Billy just smiles softly and lifts his mug in a salute. He's not sorry he asked.]

[complicatedliar]

[He's a bit relieved Billy doesn't ask for another else. He feels ill, after having told that story again. He hates it. Loki rubs his forehead with one hand, closing his eyes for a moment.]

I think... I ought to try to sleep, for a bit. Until Rogue needs me again.

[selfhelp]

I don't blame you. [Billy finishes his drink and stands up, offering a hand out to Loki. To help him to his feet, to say farewell- whatever Loki's comfortable with.] You look like you need the rest. We can postpone lessons until you guys are more on your feet.

[complicatedliar]

[Loki looks at Billy's hand got a moment as if unsure what to do with it, then takes it and stands. He basically still puts none of his weight on Billy.]

I don't really favor putting things off infinitely. Next week, as usual.

[selfhelp]

[Well, Billy doesn't push for it. He offers up a salute, gives Loki's shoulder a companionable pat, and heads for the door.]

You're the boss. I'll see you later, Loki, and... call if you need anything.

[complicatedliar]

I shall do so.

[No he won't.]