[He wants that. He wants that more than anything- to be with Teddy, to be happy with Teddy, and... to always remember that it isn't supposed to be like this. That they used to be okay. They'd laugh and joke and talk for hours and read comics and fight super villains and make love and...
It was wonderful. All of it, every moment they spent together, whether they were fighting for their lives or reading Batman punch faces or pulling one another's clothes off. They'd fallen in love and... it was wonderful.
"They say that falling in love is wonderful..."
He makes a brief, quiet humming noise to acknowledge Teddy's words, letting them repeat themselves in his own mind for a few moments longer. He wants to laugh at his own stupid head, full of geek quotes and song lyrics and book trivia and endless rambles. He wants to cry that the words "I want to die" are now in the middle of all that, coiled like a snake ready to bite and remind him of his own failures without warning. He loves the words Teddy speaks but hates the reason he had to say them.
That's... this whole month in a nutshell, really. And god, has it really been that long already? A month since they were taken... a month since everything they knew and loved was ruined, leaving this. Only this.
I'm glad you're with me...
I'm glad it's you.
He lifts his hand to press it over Teddy's, slowly forcing his eyes open to meet those beautiful blue eyes - blue again, he hadn't noticed before, they'd been green when he left, and he's so glad to see them blue now - and tries, tries to smile again.]
I remember. As long as you're with me... as long as you want me here... I'll remember. And if- if I ever-
[He falters, biting hard on his lower lip, then grits his teeth and tries again. This... this is important, too.]
If I ever feel like that again... if I think I...
[Just breathe. Just say it. Believe in him. He believes in you.]
...I'll come to you. I'll ask for help. I won't... let myself be alone. Because I don't want to leave you alone, either...
[If you still want me, then... even if it's just a little bit... even if I can't always see it... I'll be better than nothing.
[Action, October 26th]
It was wonderful. All of it, every moment they spent together, whether they were fighting for their lives or reading Batman punch faces or pulling one another's clothes off. They'd fallen in love and... it was wonderful.
"They say that falling in love is wonderful..."
He makes a brief, quiet humming noise to acknowledge Teddy's words, letting them repeat themselves in his own mind for a few moments longer. He wants to laugh at his own stupid head, full of geek quotes and song lyrics and book trivia and endless rambles. He wants to cry that the words "I want to die" are now in the middle of all that, coiled like a snake ready to bite and remind him of his own failures without warning. He loves the words Teddy speaks but hates the reason he had to say them.
That's... this whole month in a nutshell, really. And god, has it really been that long already? A month since they were taken... a month since everything they knew and loved was ruined, leaving this. Only this.
I'm glad you're with me...
I'm glad it's you.
He lifts his hand to press it over Teddy's, slowly forcing his eyes open to meet those beautiful blue eyes - blue again, he hadn't noticed before, they'd been green when he left, and he's so glad to see them blue now - and tries, tries to smile again.]
I remember. As long as you're with me... as long as you want me here... I'll remember. And if- if I ever-
[He falters, biting hard on his lower lip, then grits his teeth and tries again. This... this is important, too.]
If I ever feel like that again... if I think I...
[Just breathe. Just say it. Believe in him. He believes in you.]
...I'll come to you. I'll ask for help. I won't... let myself be alone. Because I don't want to leave you alone, either...
[If you still want me, then... even if it's just a little bit... even if I can't always see it... I'll be better than nothing.
For you.
Until I can believe it on my own again...]