[As soon as Teddy's hands touch his again, Billy exhales heavily, letting out the air he hadn't realized he'd been holding, and lets a helpless shudder pass through his body, some of the tension releasing. He knows it was still a terrible thing to share, and a part of him regrets it. Probably always will. But at least- at least Teddy can still touch him. Can still stand to be near him. At least he hasn't lost this yet.

He shifts his grip in Teddy's hands to twist their fingers together once more, clinging to the blond just as desperately, leaning in cautiously to touch their heads together.]

I know... I know... I'm so sorry...

[It feels like all he's done the past two weeks is apologize, so much that he wonders if the word even means anything anymore. But it's important, still. It never stopped being important, right...?]

I thought... I couldn't think straight, I couldn't keep it together, I just... I thought I was doing it for you... to free you from... all this. That if all you had was me, you were better off with- with nothing. That you could start over without me dragging you down. It's like I forgot everything you'd ever told me just long enough to...

[Long enough to say the one sentence he'd have regretted forever, had it worked.]

...but... when I stopped? When I realized I was still alive? I remembered it all. And I knew what a mistake I'd made...