[If not for taking up offers to eat, talk, or just plain get away for a little while, Teddy might have gone insane. Not from lack of affection or contact, though that would certainly play a role, but from his own uncertainty. There's still a haze of it around his mind, one that makes him ask questions that no one wants to hear, wanting to change to suit whatever they wanted of him. But at least it let him believe that some people still valued who he was.
The haze is not important to the one surrounding Billy's head, sometimes completely hiding him from the rest of the world and sometimes letting him peek in from a window. It's why he'd never said a word, just tried to figure out what Billy wanted out of him by changing himself slowly. Hazel eyes one day. A smaller nose another. Dirty-blond hair the next. Small little things that he'd shift slowly, enough to make it look natural, not wanting to be caught. Sometimes he'd get a response, somethings he wouldn't. It was pretty impossible to tell, thus utterly frustrating, as much as it had been when they first met and Teddy had no idea what he wanted.
The change today is in the muscle build of his body - it's a little more pronounced, like it had been when they met. He didn't interact with the fake Teddy very much, but he knew that he'd been quiet, strong, supportive, and capable, such a contrast from the broken person who tried talking Billy out of it. Maybe if he looked stronger? Maybe...
Still, Billy hadn't noticed. Billy hadn't noticed a lot of things. Sometimes it felt like Teddy would talk to a brick wall, and - and it was fine, he knew that Billy was struggling. But what he'd give to have the real, expressive Billy back, who'd sigh in exasperation or gesture with his hands while he spoke or talk animatedly and -
Teddy had promised that he'd be there for him, work together with him and see this thing through with him. And he has no intention on breaking it. It's just... it's hard. It's so, so very hard, harder than the internal debate and doubts he has with himself. It hurts to see the man he loves struggling so much, with the possession and with himself. If there was some other way he could help...
That makes Teddy blink and lift his head from the sixth book he'd been reading since their stay at the clinic, marking his place with him thumb. It's the first time Billy had looked at him in hours, even when Teddy would call him or try to talk to him...]
[Action, October 21st] glorious timeskip~
The haze is not important to the one surrounding Billy's head, sometimes completely hiding him from the rest of the world and sometimes letting him peek in from a window. It's why he'd never said a word, just tried to figure out what Billy wanted out of him by changing himself slowly. Hazel eyes one day. A smaller nose another. Dirty-blond hair the next. Small little things that he'd shift slowly, enough to make it look natural, not wanting to be caught. Sometimes he'd get a response, somethings he wouldn't. It was pretty impossible to tell, thus utterly frustrating, as much as it had been when they first met and Teddy had no idea what he wanted.
The change today is in the muscle build of his body - it's a little more pronounced, like it had been when they met. He didn't interact with the fake Teddy very much, but he knew that he'd been quiet, strong, supportive, and capable, such a contrast from the broken person who tried talking Billy out of it. Maybe if he looked stronger? Maybe...
Still, Billy hadn't noticed. Billy hadn't noticed a lot of things. Sometimes it felt like Teddy would talk to a brick wall, and - and it was fine, he knew that Billy was struggling. But what he'd give to have the real, expressive Billy back, who'd sigh in exasperation or gesture with his hands while he spoke or talk animatedly and -
Teddy had promised that he'd be there for him, work together with him and see this thing through with him. And he has no intention on breaking it. It's just... it's hard. It's so, so very hard, harder than the internal debate and doubts he has with himself. It hurts to see the man he loves struggling so much, with the possession and with himself. If there was some other way he could help...
That makes Teddy blink and lift his head from the sixth book he'd been reading since their stay at the clinic, marking his place with him thumb. It's the first time Billy had looked at him in hours, even when Teddy would call him or try to talk to him...]
I'm here. What is it?