selfhelp | [IC] Appointments Post

[ he shifts a little uncomfortably. maybe if he wasn't... him, he'd tell billy he was thinking just how nice it would be to keep that name permanently. ]

Yeah.

I don't know about your world, kid, but where I come from? The heroes aren't perfect. [She leans back in her chair again, crossing one leg over the other.] We've all made mistakes. More than a few of them were terrible. Several were on an epic scale. A few of them demolished cities here and there. Actually I think Cap's the only one out of all of us that can't claim responsibility for one of those, but I could be wrong. He might have done that too. I wasn't around when he was raiding Nazi and Hydra camps.

But the point is, you're human, Billy. With powers and abilities and capabilities that take you beyond mere humanity, yes, but you're still human. You think, you feel, you hurt. You're going to make decisions and some of them will be good and some of them will be terrible. Sometimes all you can do, all any of us can do, is try to do the best we can with what we've got. And if not... [She pauses, and her lips quirk, and there is a flicker of regret in her own gaze, there and gone again so quickly it might be missed.] Well, we hope there's someone there who can stop us and pick up the pieces in the aftermath.

[Mia shakes her head, slowly.]

If he is waiting, it is because he wants you to get better for your sake. Not for his.

[Taking things slowly, and broadly, seems to be helping him stay grounded. She doesn't want to throw a bunch of words at him.]

And you're not mad about that, either?

[go on, brother, tell him all about it.]

[He's not sure if he should feel better or worse for that. He kind of feels like both.

But she means well, and not a lot these days doesn't make him feel worse, so he figures that's his fault, not hers.]

I'll... try. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry we didn't know each other before... that we couldn't be the support you needed. That's not fair.

[He blinks at that, tilting his head curiously to one side. Something big she needed to talk to him about? What important thing could she possibly have to say to someone like him?]

[He fidgets, looking uncomfortable.]

I don't... think it's a good idea for me to do anything for my own sake anymore. Look how it turned out...

Okay. Okay. So, uh. We actually knew each other before. I mean, before the whole invasion thing happened. And normally I wouldn't say anything, but in a village this tiny, it'd be kind of hard to keep up the charade of pretending to be two people to the same person, you know? So. Uhm.

[That probably just came out in a big ramble, so it's no fault of Billy's if he can't keep up with it. Thankfully, this last part has a sizable pause -- it's the only actual important thing, anyway.]

...I'm actually Hoshikyo. This is what I really look like.

[But that's what he'd been trying to do, wasn't it? Make a perfect world? And in that perfect world, he hadn't really... been there. He'd existed, sure, drifted from place to place and watched it exist around him, but he'd never been a part of it. The only reason he'd adopted a persona within was because, apparently, he'd been important in Tommy's world.

Talk about your wake-up calls.

What she says is true, though- no world has perfect heroes. He knows all too well about the flaws of his own. And over the course of his world's history he's seen even Cap make terrible mistakes.

They were still heroes, weren't they?

But not Wanda. She's a criminal to them, for what she did. If they knew what I did, I'd... be a criminal, too.]

...Something like this... happened before. In my world. But it was bigger... so much bigger than this.

[He's actually pretty well-versed in ramble-speak, but in the state his head's in, it's a little hard to follow. The confession is... really unexpected, though it makes the fact that she's telling him in the first place a lot more understandable. He knew her. He knew Hoshikyo. Them being the same person is... wow. It's like night and day.

He's been there, though- or at least, he's seen it. Peter did that, while he was around. His real self, and Spider-man, and Billy had been among the very few to know it. Billy himself just never bothers with a secret identity because his costume isn't great for disguising him.]

...Why is that important? [Wait, that came out wrong.] I-I mean- why... the charade?

I see. What will you do instead, then?

[Telling him what to do and how to do it seems unfair, among other things.]

[Thankfully, she misses the rather blunt first question, since the sudden release of tension after spitting it out causes her to deflate just a bit. She's... never really told someone like this before. Certainly no one who knew both sides of her to any real extent -- at most, she's mentioned having a secret identity and that was that. Everyone else who knows found out by accident.]

Well... I mean, come on! Why do any super heroes have secret identities? It's not like magic is common place in my world. And it's easier not having to worry about making your enemies mad if they don't know your face. I've... kinda sorta made my fair share of enemies across the multiverse. If any of them ever wind up here, I don't wanna have to start living like an outcast.

[Even if some of them could trace her magic back to her home, given the general lack of it throughout her world, they wouldn't necessarily associate her with the same girl who kicked their asses later.]

...but besides that, let's face it, if you looked like Hoshikyo whenever you used your magic, you'd lie about it too.

[Dem curls, man. She can't do anything with them.]

...Whatever he wants.

[He can't seem to look her in the eye. It's the best decision. He knows that. It has to be.

His wants aren't good. Not at all. Teddy's the one who knows what's best, right?]

[He pauses at that, thinking cautiously on everything she said. Finally, after a long moment, he cracks a tiny smile. That last part...]

Okay... good point, I guess. Why do you have to look like that? Can't you choose your own disguise?

[The whole concept is pretty alien to him- not secret identities, obviously, but not being able to decide who or what your alternate self will be. It's why Wiccan is so similar to his real self; the truth is, he never wanted to be anyone but himself. Thus, a disguise that really... isn't.

God, it's a miracle he was never recognized by the people who knew him. Totally a Clark Kent thing.]

[She listened intently at that, her head cocked a little to the side.]

Can you tell me what happened?

So you won't do what you want, then? Ever?

[It is her softest voice above a whisper. She waits, looking at him and hoping he can find it in himself to look back.

And maybe he can't yet. He'll get there.]

You must really trust him.

Don't apologize for something out of your control. Ever.

[Because if he started doing that, he might never stop. There was too much out there that none of them could predict. If they started taking responsibility for everything, god, where would it end?]

I have you guys now. And I couldn't ask for anything better.

[Zatanna’s not exactly in high spirits after her talk with Teddy; the guy’s worn down, and she feels pretty bad for him. Also, not optimistic about talking to Billy, considering that it doesn’t look like he even moves while Zatanna speaks with Teddy. But she still has to try, and Zatanna knocks on the door frame before making her way into the room and over to where Billy sits.]

Hey, Billy? It’s Zatanna.

[She gives him a long, hard look at that. Nothing about this feels right to Zatanna, from how Teddy clutches himself to the way he still almost smiles. She doesn’t know if she actually believes he’s talking to anyone—but that means the question is whether she wants to flat out accuse him of lying. As concerned for him as she is, Zatanna doesn’t have the heart to go that far.]

Okay; you better be. [And if she finds out he isn’t, Teddy’s going to have one angry Italian girl to deal with.] And for the record, you know you can talk to me too, right? I wasn’t really involved either. [Since that seems to be his qualification here. Zatanna may have helped in the end, but she hadn’t been personally affected by the spell.]

[He nods, though he’s quiet for a long moment after doing so. He’d brought it up, but… he doesn’t have to be happy about discussing it.]

There’s… someone with the same kind of powers as me. Something terrible happened to her, and… one day, she cast a spell to change the whole world. Everyone… every single person was changed. Had their life flipped around. And only a handful of people even knew about it.

[He's already trying to do that, really- because he can think of a million mistakes he's made, now. So many callous remarks or misplaced spells or cold shoulders... from the smallest transgressions to the biggest of all now, that spell. Something he'll never, ever forget. And then there's the crimes he didn't stop, even though he has this incredible - awful - power...

But she doesn't want him to apologize for everything, and he's already apologized for that, so... he just nods.]

R... right. Okay...

[He'd almost apologized for that, too.]

[He looks up... to about her shoulders. Progress, however slight, even if it doesn't last.]

...There's no one else I trust more. If not him, then... who?

I suppose we can be thankful then that you only tried to improve life on a smaller, intimate scale.

[They can be mutually miserable, then. It takes a long moment before Billy is able to turn and face her, blinking owlishly. It's been a while since he had a visitor, and this is the first person to come to their home to see him, besides Kate who's a regular in general.]

...Mm...?

It's important to have someone you can trust that way. It's good.

[He seems so uncertain about whether anything he thinks can be real.]

[IC] Appointments Post

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