selfhelp | [IC] Appointments Post

[He shakes his head, though after a moment he realizes she won't have seen it.]

It's... fine. I just- there's something wrong with... my head, um...

[He shifts uncomfortably, rubbing at his forehead, then shivers and glances away.]

...It's fine. And I'll answer whatever questions I can, if... you want to ask. I promise I'll try.

[Billy doesn't notice Teddy and Optimus in the background, still gently trying to coax Misty into accepting him home again. It takes a while, much longer than he'd like but not as long as he expected, but eventually his quiet encouragements and apologies are enough to get her to lean her head forward to sniff at his offered hand, then give him a very light nuzzle. He takes that as an open invitation to give her chin a scratch, then the side of her head, and finally behind the ears. It's familiar, soothing, and probably the most relaxing experience he's had since he woke up, particularly when she starts purring.

He feels tears form in his eyes, and he tries to blink them back with little success. But for the first time in weeks, maybe even months, they're out of joy rather than grief. Or, at least, not entirely grief.]

[Billy can't help but stare at it - either he's never seen it before or his mind and memory is very far away from their training sessions - and almost reaches out to poke at it, stopping himself at the last second. Don't go prodding at magic that doesn't belong to you, Kaplan.]

Ah... okay. Thanks... thanks?

[He looks between Mia and the djinn. Summon? Part of the same whole? Is he thanking her or the djinn or both?

He has no idea how this works, but either way, he's in.]

[Someone else who didn't mind? That... really is a surprise, and it shows on his face. He'd expected visitors to be angry, accusatory, upset. And while it's true that there'd been some of that, to think that the spell could do any good is surreal.

He really wishes he could be happy about it, but one side still well-outweighs the other.]

...Probably, yeah. But for what it's worth, I'm... grateful it didn't hurt everyone it touched.

His name is Serac. [He would have let Billy poke him, just this once; instead he just says, "You're welcome," with a bit of superior affect. Mia leaves him in her place on the chair, so she can offer Billy an arm or two to lean on while he gets up.]

If you feel at all like turning around, and coming back, we will.

[And that's a much harder question to answer; there's too much conflict, too much stress, too much confusion. Reality's been shattered, and he's still picking up the pieces.]

...Tired, mostly. My head hurts. And... I don't know.

[He lifts a hand to rub at his forehead, grimacing, then glances sidelong at Kurt.]

Have you ever wondered if... what's real... isn't?

[Kurt frowns. It looks like whatever happened must have done a number on Billy's head.]

You mean - what's really real? I can't say I have. I mean... even when things were fake, I couldn't tell at all... But still. Reality's always just too... too real for me to think differently!

[He has to think about that, because he doesn't know about those mistakes; he hasn't seen the result, hasn't seen the grief attached, hasn't seen how they grow and break apart and cry over so many mistakes. Hasn't felt the loss. All he knows is that the Young Avengers held together because she was strong enough to not give up, because she's just as much of a leader as Eli, and because she's amazing.

He doesn't know what her mistakes might be, but they can't come close to what he did. Right? ...Right...?

Ugh, he doesn't want to imagine. Better to assume it's impossible.]

Most of the time when people make mistakes the don't... break reality.

[Most people aren't Billy Kaplan, either.

What the hell ever made you think you could do this?]

People like me shouldn't have powers, Kate.

[Teddy's the one who answers the door, after looking at Billy and seeing him not react to it. He isn't even sure if he heard it. With a little sigh of his own, he pauses the game he was playing, lowers the screen of his laptop halfway, then sets it aside and heads for the door.

When it unlocks and opens, Teddy pauses and looks around the crack to see who it is first, then opens it a little further, a good smile on his face. Just because it's depressing and lonely within doesn't mean it should leak outside.]

Hey, Zee. What's up?

Hey Teddy. [She's a little surprised to see him smiling under the circumstances. Maybe things are going better than she thought--or maybe he's just trying to put on a good show. She thinks the latter is more likely, which doesn't exactly make asking what she has to any easier.]

Do you think Billy's up for visitors? I was kind of wanting to talk to him. [She can't say she's there just to check in, although it's partially true. There's more to it than asking after his welfare, and Zatanna's not going to hide that--even if she's not explicitly saying it either.]

[Teddy's smile doesn't falter, mostly because his shifting keeps it in place, though he doesn't answer immediately. He blinks, then look back at the apartment, wondering if Billy responded to his name being said.

... And nothing. When he turns back to Zatanna, the smile lessens into something softer, bittersweet. He got Billy home, and it was a good - no, it was a great start. But he's back on the windowsill, back to staring outside and back to ignoring everything, even Teddy himself.]

I... don't know. He might not talk back, so you might have to... wait a while. [He does make his smile widen as he steps back, opening the door further as an invitation.] But you can try. You can at least make yourself at home too, old as that phrase is.

That's okay. I don't exactly have somewhere to be. [And that might turn out to be a good thing. Teddy's still smiling, and although it does dim a little when he admits that Billy isn't being responsive, it still seems wrong. Zatanna can't place her finger on why though, not at first. She doesn't really get it until she's taken a few steps inside, with the image of his grin widening again replaying in her mind.

It's too perfect of a smile. Especially for the circumstances; Zatanna's pretty familiar with trying to act okay when everything isn't, but she knows too much of what's happened. Teddy can't be okay. He shouldn't be smiling like that.]

I think I should ask how you're doing first, though. But could you skip the part where you try and convince me you're fine?

O... okay. Thanks.

[He accepts her arm and her help, sliding off the bed and straightening up, standing shakily on his own two feet for the first time all day. This is the most normal he's felt in a while, and it's... god, he doesn't even know. It's heavy, the weight of reality. He's not used to it, and he knows it'll just slip away from him before long.

But it's good. He knows it's good, and that's important.

So now he just... has to walk. That's not so hard, is it?]

[It's a little dizzying to imagine reality just... being, and it takes Billy a moment to let the words sink in. Too real. Can reality be too real?

Has it ever been real for him, since he got his powers? He can't even remember anymore.

He ducks his head, brushing aside the issue. It was a stupid question to ask, anyway. It's just a step up from asking Kurt if he's real, which... didn't go over so well with Kate.]

You know, right? What happened? What I did? That's why you're really here.

What? [He blinks, unsure what he's getting it.] I'm just here to check up on my friend. I don't know what you're talking about. You were just... caught up in whatever that weird shift was. All you did was act out your role.

What?

[... Was he caught that fast? Dammit, he was probably overdoing it... He covers his jaw with his hand as if thinking that's the problem, eyes glancing to Billy before he looks at Zatanna again. When his hand lowers, the smile isn't quite there, at least. It's that same bittersweet one, the most that he wants to allow.]

I'm okay... Really, I am. Things are getting better, even if it's slow. [And even if it's like taking a step forward and then two steps back.] I guess that's my way of convincing you?

Billy. [She interrupted him, leaning over and resting her hand lightly on his arm when he shrunk in on himself, looking miserable.]

I know you are. You apologized. I forgive you. What's done is done.

[In some ways, maybe it's simpler for her to compartmentalize this than it would be for most. Then again, she hadn't lost as much as others, either.]

[....he doesn't... know? He's just visiting?

The temptation to keep it that way is heavy, and it's hard to shake it off. The truth will come out eventually. Lying now will just make it worse.

But god, does he ever want to.]

It wasn't... a shift. It was me. I did it.

[He half-flinches at the touch, but doesn't pull away; as he lifts his head a little, he looks more surprised than anything else. How can she possibly be okay with this?]

You... what?

[How?]

[To be fair, Zatanna's been dealing with someone else who insists he's fine too. Of course that means she doesn't exactly have a lot of patience for it. But she lets Teddy have his say, even if he does pretty much what she said not to.]

You kind of missed the mark. [But he's trying, at least. His smile still seems a little off, but a little more genuine at the same time.] You don't have to pretend, okay? You've been through a lot.

[Unfortunately for Billy, Kari's acceptance of what happened is more or less cancelled out by the grudge held by the spirit of her pendent, though Kari herself is unaware of its feelings.]

[She nods.]

Yeah... but. Uhm. If you don't mind me asking, do you know what made some people get effected and others not? Like, I don't know if intentional is the right now or not, but...

Edited 2013-10-27 00:12 (UTC)

[Mia stays close. Shakiness and general weakness are both good ways to lose his balance and fall. Still supporting him, she turns for the door to his room, intending to guide him along to get there.]

[Ah. That is a good question. His brows furrow, thinking it over, and finally shakes his head.]

I wish I knew. I guess that... even with this power, I'm not strong enough to do it. Not like...

[...ah.]

Sorry. I don't know.

[Walking, walking. He can't help but glance over his shoulder briefly as they go, feeling indecisive and almost needing his window, but when it almost causes him to fall over, he forces himself to face forward again. He needs to be up. Needs to be on his feet.

Teddy'll be happy if he's walking, right?]

Ah, careful. [She holds his good arm until he has balance again.] Teddy would banish me if I let you fall.

[The smile, and tone, and quiet laugh at the end, they're all supposed to reassure him that she's joking. She would never let him fall.]

It's not far.

[They pass mostly empty and silent rooms, too.]

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