selfhelp | [IC] Appointments Post

[Wanda rankles under her powers being called "illusions," sitting back, lips pursed. ] ... ... I know what I did. ... I know what I saw.

[She bites her lip, wanting to lash out at him with her words, to try and hurt him for being so dismissive. But her anger quickly turns to uncertainty, and her uncertainty to despair. After all-- what did she know? She was nothing more than a silly girl with more power than brains. She'd felt his power. It was the same as hers.

Her train of thought derailed there, as a few thoughts piled up on top of one another. Her friend? Her son? They had the same power. Their brothers could have been the same person, almost. How could there be so many similarities? She still felt for him-- wanting to care and nurture him. But she also felt inferior to him, which was not a motherly feeling at all. It was all getting mixed up in her heart and her mind, and it was giving her a aching feelings in both places.]

.... Who are you??

[When Billy leans in, Teddy doesn't hesitate this time. He wraps both arms around Billy and pulls him against his chest, chin on top of his head, careful with his shoulder. He strokes his hair and shuts his eyes, feeling the remnants of tears behind them and not bothering to shift them away. They're not big enough to fall through his mask.

Watch him push you away. You're not good enough. You weren't ever good enough.

Shut up, shut up.

He doesn't care if he's not the one, if only for an instant. Billy needs this, Billy leaned toward him, sought him out... That's enough.]

I want you to fight. Fight as hard as you can, because this will be tough. No taking the easy way out. Just think about...

[Who you want to be, who you were before this thing took you over, think about what it'd feel like if -

No magic. No easy way out.]

Think about what I said. You have me... I've got you. So let's do this together... okay? We'll solve this.

More or less.

[Inwardly, he wonders if he should elaborate. Tell her the story, or at least what he knows of it. It makes a lot more sense that way.

Then again, his existence doesn't make sense no matter how much information one has on it. Hell, more info actually makes it more confusing. And he's in no state to explain it properly.

And so-]

People are different from objects. If you make a chair out of magic, it's solid, it's real, and it won't fade away because it isn't meant to change. But people change. They grow, they learn, they talk to people and develop relationships. You can't... make a person and then just set them loose and hope for the best. You can't keep living your life like you never did it. Their life is tied to yours. And if you forget about them, even for a second, the magic disappears.

[He thinks about Anja, and Susanna, and Robin's parents, and all of Kurt's fuzzy blue kids. They were tied to him as irrevocably as they'd been tied to their parents. Tied to the spell that made them exist. But they were never alive, not even for a second. It was a beautiful lie.]

Magic isn't life. It's just a manipulation of truths.

[Billy practically melts into his arms, slumping gratefully against his boyfriend and closing his eyes. One hand lifts to grip Teddy's shirt, fingers clenching tightly into a fist around the material, needing the physical connection and feeling all the more pathetic for it. He's a horrible person to demand more from Teddy like this, after all this, and when Teddy needs him he just can't-

"Together."

Let's do this together.

The words resonate in him, leaving him stunned and speechless for a long moment. Was that okay? To ask that of Teddy? To rely on him while he sorts out his own mixed-up head? This is what Teddy wants?

It doesn't seem right. But Teddy had offered. Teddy had asked for it. And he trusts Teddy more than anyone else in the world.

Without lifting his head, Billy stirs listlessly against him, his face half-buried in the warmth of Teddy's chest.]

...Things are going to get much, much worse...

[It's a safer quote, a relevant one, and geek references are their safe haven, their familiar territory, and even with his head still such a jumbled mess, it's an easy crutch to fall back on. Teddy deserves his honesty. It could get better. But it could get a lot worse. Even he has no idea.

But he'll fight, if that's what Teddy wants him to do. What he needs him to do. Teddy's worth fighting for.]

Edited 2013-10-20 03:54 (UTC)

[How powerful Billy must be, now, whether it is artificial or not. That he could maintain so much for such a length of time.]

The way it works - that makes a lot of sense. Our abilities and what we believe about them are very different.

[She doesn't want to imagine what it would be like if the healing she could do wasn't real. If she and others only believed it because they could not bear the alternative.]

I hope I haven't asked too many questions and tired you out.

[Teddy knows. Even gets the reference, since they seem to be stuck on that scene.

He understands Simon a lot better now.

Following the way it plays in his head, Teddy nods, though it only feels like a bit of pressure against the top of Billy's head, then moves one hand back to brush at Billy's cheek. He can't see the tears from this angle, but it's easy to remember where they fell.]

We'll get through this. [They will. For all of Teddy's doubts - They've gotten through terrible things before. They'll get through this. Even if it gets worse.]

[He was wondering when she would ask that. He knew it was coming, of course - from the moment she entered the room, he knew. And now he's not sure whether he's glad of the change in subject or not. He can argue the mechanics of magic until the world ends if he has to, but this? He could never be ready for this.

But he asked for this, in a way, by creating that reality. By making her a part of his and Tommy's. Whether he likes it or not, she has a right to know.

The truth is inevitable. For now, though, all he wants to do - all he can do - is helplessly delay it.]

I'm... Billy Kaplan.

[His response is slight, but pressed up against Teddy like that, the blond can probably feel it- the way Billy relaxes, trembling briefly before settling down again, feeling overwhelmingly touched by the level of support he's receiving. He still wonders if it isn't right, but... he's done fighting it. He's done arguing. He's trying to battle with the wrong foe, here.

His doubts, his mind, his power... they're the real enemies. So after a long, hesitant moment, he finally just nods, tilting his head enough to press his cheek into Teddy's gentle touch. He doesn't know how, and he doesn't know how long, but... they have to make it. Somehow. Someday.

Together, right...?]

[She shakes her head. Why is he making this hard?] .... Are we-- I don't know. Are we... the same person? But different universes? [That sort of thing happens here, right? That could be a thing? God. She'd almost prefer it. ] Is that why our magic feels the same?

Or.

... why was I your mother?

[And there it is.

Billy looks down at that, carefully avoiding her eyes. Evade, evade, evade, e-]

I told you... I was adopted.

[...evade...]

... You did. [For once, you'll get no help from her, Billy.]

Edited 2013-10-20 04:48 (UTC)

[Dammit, dammit, dammit- she isn't- why today, though-]

I wasn't supposed to tell you...

[Like this, it almost feels like Billy really is shining through. It's enough to make Teddy believe his words more, find a tiny flicker of hope when the fake had suffocated the life of the roaring blaze out.

He tilts his head downward to press a long kiss against Billy's hair, enough to be felt, and brushes his thumb against his boyfriend's cheek. Billy believes him, even if just for this moment, so Teddy will believe in him, too, just like he always has.

Together.]

[Alright, she'll help a little. She can feel her heart pounding, for some reason. Can he hear that?] Wh... Why? Why not tell me? Tell me-- what?

[It... does make it a little bit easier. That she asked for it again, more directly. Like he can shrug off some of the responsibility.

Tommy's going to be angry with him, isn't he.

We'd promised, but...

He bows his head, closes his eyes, and just... lets it go. No more lies; he's too exhausted to try hiding it anymore.]

My name - my first name - was William... Maximoff.

That's... that was your name-- just now. Before. ... Where we were all happy. [God almighty, she feels like her heart is going to pound right out of her chest. She has to start breathing manually, not unlike how she does when she meditates. Which is just as well, because she needs to control herself right now. her fingers slide under her legs, pressing them between her thighs and the chair so they can't move.] I... we're... related. Aren't we?

[At first, he merely nods; what more of an answer does she need? But... that's not fair. To leave her hanging. She deserves to know the truth- and all of it, not just bits and pieces.

He doesn't know if he has the ability to explain it all in his state, but he should at least share what he can. While his mind's clear enough to try, anyway.]

That's... that's why you were my mother. Our mother.

[Breath. Breath. In. Out. Breath.] I... I... I'm... [Her breathing is on it's way from 'meditative' into 'hyperventilating' territory, as she tries to wrap her brain around this. Her eyes dart, as she very quickly cycles through a number of emotions. Fear. Confusion. Excitement. Joy. Sadness. Curiosity. Betrayal.

She doesn't really know what to do. There are too many conflicting thoughts. Too many emotions. She's not even thinking about controlling her magic right now, so there's no hex aura to warn when a pitcher of water on one of the end tables starts rattling dangerously, as if it's about to go flying across the room. The walls bow out ever so slightly, as well, but somehow do not crack or break, as if they're made of rubber.

So many questions. So many things to say and feel and do. So she does what she can. If Billy does not rebuke her, she will wrap her arms around him in a big, tight, silent hug.]

[He doesn't rebuke her, actually. He's too stunned by the unexpected embrace to even try. It takes him a long moment, but at some point he lifts the arm not currently in a sling to tentatively hold her back, holding his breath as he does so. Is this okay? Is this really happening?

Is she... okay with it?

It's not what he thought would happen at all.]

[It's not that she's not angry. She is. She is also weird the hell right out about all the connotations, and she has a million questions. Not the least of which is "Why did you lie to me?"

But.

She has a family, again.

She's not alone, any more. Family means so much to her. It means having a place to belong, and people who love you unconditionally, despite whatever fuckups you may have.

And that's what she's demonstrating here. Has Billy fucked up? Yes.

But she's not going to let that drive her away. She'll be angry later, when they can both deal with it a little better. For now, there are hugs. Hugs and an attempt to normalize breathing.

She is not that attentive, so she may end up holding him in a way that is not comfortable with is injuries, unintentionally. ]

[It takes him a little while to notice the pain, too caught up in the moment, but when it hits him, it hits hard. His body stiffens, his arm at her back dropping a little, a soft, muffled whimper escaping his lips.

He doesn't protest her hug - won't, can't, because he's wanted this for so long, and he's done so much that he deserves this pain and more - but he can't stay silent about it the way he'd like.]

[It takes her a second after his whimper to realize what the sound was-- what she's doing. She draws back from him, quickly.] O-oh...! Sorry! I'm sorry! [Something in her head laughs. She's apologizing to him? After everything that's happened?]

[He leans back when she releases him, shaking his head at her apology, though that doesn't stop him from placing his hand over his wounded shoulder somewhat protectively. It hurts, but he doesn't blame her.]

Don't apologize. Not for that. Not... not ever.

[It felt good... to be held by her. It felt safe. How could it ever be a bad thing?]

I... didn't mean to hurt you. ... You're still-- injured. [Her lips twitch at an uncertain smile, anyway. She knows what he means. It doesn't stay for long though, before she's back to peering at him with serious eyes full of a million questions.]

... What... what can you tell me?

...I'm not sure yet. I wasn't even supposed to tell you that...

[His voice is faint, struggling a little; so many secrets and hesitations and wondering that he's carried for so long. What it would be like to be her son, what it would be like to know her that way, how she'd feel, did she want him. And he knows that she's not really- he has a mother, and the Wanda who brought him into this life wasn't this version, not by far. But he wanted it. He wanted to believe.

Still, that was... reality. And he needed to cling to reality now, lest he be lost in his own fantasy again.]

I know that... we're from different universes. I have no way of knowing if I'm going to be a part of your future. But I know... I know it's true. From the moment I was told, I believed. I'm the son of the Scarlet Witch of my world.

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