selfhelp | [IC] Appointments Post

[It's a bit of both, now that everything's sinking in; the relief is much, much stronger, of course, and it shows in the way he clings to Teddy's body, but he can't help but wonder about the girl's fate. Was she okay? Was she back in her universe, with the one she loves? Did she even exist in the first place? He hopes she does. He doesn't like the idea of the last week being so utterly pointless. Teddy has enough existential issues as it is, and she was too real to be just some construct. Besides, the universe deserves a few extra Teddys.

The thought makes him smile despite the tears, and finally he tugs back a bit, sniffing and wiping at his eyes so he can look at Teddy properly.]

Sorry... sorry, I... it's okay. Everything's fine. Just... things have been weird, that's all. Do you... do you remember yesterday?

[Once Billy pulls back, Teddy cups his cheek and caresses his cheekbone with his thumb, a small smile on his own face. The smile Billy's giving in return makes the worry he's feeling lessen, until his own can grow a little.

With the question asked, Teddy opens his mouth to answer, then shuts it, frowns, and tries again, slower this time.]

... Sort of. It's... weird, like a jumble of different memories floating around in my head. I remember being here and talking to you and everyone else, but I was... [What does he even call it - ] different? But I remember things from back home too, except... you know. Also different. Those ones are a lot fuzzier, but...

[He remembers looking up at a pretty woman who almost looked like their version of Wanda, though there were a few differences. It's as if that was one of the happiest moments of his alternate's life, seeing the young woman cup his cheeks with love in her eyes and kissing his nose. He remembers a man with blond hair and blue eyes with a hand on his shoulder and looking at him with such concern, like a father would, and him having to look away and shift away the burning in his eyes. Three teenaged girls in costume grinning up at him and giving a thumbs up.

They're all brief and blurry, but he remembers them.]

[Huh. That's slightly more than Billy expected, actually, and he frowns thoughtfully, leaning further until he's sitting on the couch once more, hugging his knees to his chest. So it was still Teddy, after all? Or is it that much more complicated? God, trying to sort it out is just going to make his head hurt, isn't it.]

You were... shifted. Or switched with someone else, I'm not sure. It's been a week since then.

It felt... different from other shifts. [He says it as he climbs over the couch to sit beside Billy instead.] I know I keep saying different, but - it really was.

[He hopes it means that his alternate self was just that - an alternate, and not just a shift for the sake of a shift. He remembers the fear she felt during that week, the worry that everything she felt wasn't real after all. He has a feeling, however, that it is, and she's finally back with that smiling girl.

But Teddy's here now, in this reality, with the one he loves. Now that he's settled beside Billy, Teddy wraps an arm around his shoulders and pulls him against his side, then rests his chin on his hair.]

I didn't know it was a week, though... God, Billy, I...

[Billy leans gladly into the embrace, one hand sliding from his leg to lift and curl in the warm, familiar fabric of Teddy's shirt; he'd have shifted closer even if Teddy hadn't pulled him in. He's so glad to have Teddy back, he hates the very idea of separating even for a moment right now.]

It's okay now- it's okay. You're back. I'm fine, honest. The worst part was... not knowing, I think. I had no idea if it was a shift, or...

Don't even joke!

[ Screw you soulbro. ]

It's not a joke- as your brother, I am genuinely concerned for your safety.

[He kind of isn't, though.]

Think you can outrun him?

[... Or if he went back home. Teddy can finish that in his head.

As much as he wants to promise he won't leave Billy alone, there's really no way he can do that. They both know that they could wake up and find the other gone, brought back to their world and left with no clue as to what, and more importantly, who he just left behind. There's really nothing either of them can do about it, and it's another frustration added on to Teddy's list.

So instead of promising, Teddy pulls Billy a little closer, showing that he understands what he means.]

They'd have to drag me kicking and screaming to take me away from you. [He rubs his shoulder, a small half smile quirking up.] And you probably would've heard that before anything could actually happen.

Hah... I believe it. And they'd have a heck of a time dealing with the both of us, then.

[The cynic in him knows better- knows that people vanish without a fight or farewell, stolen or shifted silently out of the world and back to their own. But he doesn't want to think about that, not with Teddy back at his side again. He wants to believe that they'd go down fighting, that they'd leave together somehow. The alternative is just too lonely, and he'd already had enough of a taste of that to know he can't take more right now.

Instead he scoots closer still, nuzzling his head against Teddy's shoulder. This... this is much better.]

Welcome back...

Glad to be back.

[He nuzzles his cheek against Billy's hair in return, eyes shutting and enjoying the moment. They have a future together, a future they promised each other, and he doesn't like the idea that something could take that away in an instant.

But then, it's like that back on their own world as well, especially in the life of a teenage superhero. One of them could die, or decide that being boyfriends with a superhero is too stressful, or breaking up, or... anything, really. It's different, but still sort of the same. There's a risk in both worlds, and Teddy wants to treasure what he has for however long he has it in both.

With his eyes close, though, Teddy realizes just how tired he is. It is still in the middle of the night and all...]

Hey... wanna go back to bed? Our bed? You've probably had enough of sleeping on the couch.

[It feels like he could fall back to sleep just like this- cuddled up against his boyfriend, reunited and at peace with the one he loves. No need whatsoever for anything else. But Teddy's question brings to mind the stiffness his body has been feeling the last day or so, the result of prolonged time on a small, unsupportive couch rather than his own bed. He's kept that ache to himself to avoid making Teddie feel guilty about unintentionally booting him from the bedroom, but with his real lover back, he feels free to be honest about it.]

God, yes. One more night on this thing and I'm pretty sure I'd start walking like a ninety-year-old woman. Amazing and unfortunate how much you miss a box spring when it's gone.

[ Uhhhhh... ]

I don't know his max speed.

[Hah... his pains? He's not sure if Loki is even joking. After his last comment, probably not. Still, it's almost laughable- an Asgardian in bandages and bloody clothes apologizing for that. Just not in the funny way. Not ever.

The definition of pathetic. He knows Loki doesn't mean him, but it still... it stings. And when the anger fades by his reluctance to chase it, all that's left is hurt. Maybe Loki's apology is warranted, though probably not for the reason he thinks.

He should probably say something, too.

Just... not to that.]

...You want me to bring Sif here? Or just cat-sit?

Maybe Teddy would know. Have you told him yet?

[He has no idea where he stands on Tommy's social pyramid of Important Things these days, actually.]

Maybe we can get one of those sleep number beds. [He says it as he maneuvers the both of them up and off the couch, and though Teddy meant to keep going, he ends up cutting himself off with a huge yawn before shaking his head, then getting back on track.] Or, you know, memory foam. One of those things.

[He wraps an arm around Billy's shoulders, left hand in view... and that's when he realizes that there's something missing, something important. Teddy has a suspicion as to where it is, but he'd still like it back on him right away.]

Um. Going completely off the subject of beds for a second - Do you know where my ring is?

Oh crap, I forgot-

[Billy lets go of Teddy and reaches up behind his neck, undoing the clasp of the necklace he'd had tucked into his shirt. Drawing it out reveals Teddy's ring dangling at the center.]

Your, um... other self was wearing it when she woke up. I thought it would be safer if I held onto it, just in case.

[And there it is. Just the sight of it dangling there makes Teddy smile, especially knowing that Billy held on to it. He reaches up to touch his fingers against the band, which grows slightly in size to match, just as Billy spelled it to.]

Ha... good thinking. I wouldn't want to lose it for anything.

[And now that he knows Billy kept it, Teddy holds out his hand instead, and he ends up remembering just a few weeks ago, when Billy first gave him the ring.]

Wanna do the honors again?

...Hah. Well I sure as hell wouldn't say no.

[Grinning sleepily, Billy slides the ring off of the chain and onto the offered finger instead, curling his fingers under Teddy's palm and squeezing gently.]

Yeah... that's much better.

[... Yep. It's just as beautiful as it was when he first got it, and feeling it slide onto his finger is just as magical, too. Once more, they're showing their promise for their future, rather than just Billy having his own ring.

Speaking of which, Teddy glances down and... yup. There's the ring on Billy's hand too, not that Teddy doubted it was there. There's just... something about seeing both his and Billy's rings that sends a quiet thrill through him, and while he's too tired to show it with a kiss, he instead does so by shutting his eyes and pressing their foreheads together.]

No argument here.

Thor will watch her.

[He shrugs one shoulder.] Or if you bring her here I will feed her. [It sounds like a lot of effort, but he does like his cat. She probably deserves a better person than him, though.]

You decide, I don't mind either way. Hold still-

[He'd promised to do it before, and he figures Loki's going to pick at them later, so he fishes a small pair of scissors from the medical kit - slim and sharp for cutting bandages - and takes Loki's hand to snip carefully at the loose nails. At least he won't be tearing any more unless he's actively trying to cause damage.]

Are you staying here?

[Yeah... That was a problem. Billy stopped chanting, and then he got overconfident with it. Even Teddy noticed it, and there were tense moments between he and Billy before they got kidnapped, before it exploded in their faces. Teddy purses his lips, a frown on his face as he tries to think of what to do. Chanting helped him focus, kept him grounded, and stopping led to overconfidence. Hmm...]

Maybe... Chant at least once, even if you feel like you don't need to? Like, as a reminder to yourself, you know? I mean... [He glances away, as the reminder is painful for him, too.] I think what happened is enough of one, and now you know better. [And eye contact again.] So I think - Even if the chanting once thing doesn't cut it, we should read these and try to figure things out. Or... you, anyway. You know what it's like now.

[Teddy's just the support here, though he'll gladly chime in and note whether an idea is stupid or not. He's gotten to see and feel Billy's magic firsthand, and he certainly helped him out. But just as he knows his power best, so too does Billy with his own.]

[He flinches slightly until he realizes what Billy is doing, more habit than anything. He doesn't care that much, at the moment, what happens to him. Then he simply acquiesces passively.]

I suppose I will. I don't want to go back there. Not now.

[Billy wants him to decide what to do about the cat as well? He doesn't want to decide anything right now. It feels like too much effort, and he's just so tired. And every decision he's made has turned out terribly in the last day. How will this be an exception?]

Perhaps I should have my cat.

[Singular chants and greater internal focus, got it.]

Probably better that way, anyway. I mean... there were some spells that I could pull off without chanting, but most of the time I need that part of it. If I could learn to do magic without hearing the words, I'd get better at focusing and... eliminate a weakness, too.

[He doesn't have to say it- they both know. Things might have been very different if those machines of the warden's hadn't taken his hearing away. And things would have been infinitely different if he hadn't needed to hear his voice in the first place.

...Granted, he might have killed someone to get them out, but if his spells had worked it wouldn't have gone that far, either.

He shivers against Teddy before he can stop himself, his grip tightening on the book. Focus. They're trying to move beyond the past here, trying to do this better from now on. Dwelling on his failings aren't going to help anyone. He coughs, biting his lip, and continues hastily instead of waiting for a response.]

"We wonder at the achievements of the great men in all walks of life, and we are apt to excuse ourselves by the sad remark that these people seem to 'have it in them' greater than we are doing. Nonsense, we all have it in us to do things a hundred times greater than we are doing. The trouble is not in the lack of power and mental material, but in the Desire and Interest, and Incentive to arouse into activity those wonderful storehouses of dynamic power within our disposal."

[...Sort of feels like an inspirational cat poster would be less long-winded and equally effective, but the familiarity of the material is actually soothing.]

Like I said, your decision. But if you're worried about being alone or it being too quiet, it might be a good idea.

[He waits out the flinch, then continues his work, only taking a couple more snips to finish. Loki doesn't really have many nails long enough to cut short now, anyway. He wants to feel comforted by that, but isn't.]

[IC] Appointments Post

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