selfhelp | [Action/Written]

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[Billy has never thought of himself as one of those obsessive stalker boyfriends who needs to be attached at the hip to his significant other at all times. Really, he'd always figured they were pretty good about mutual space. A two-month separation with the potential of spending years in this place without seeing Teddy again is, however, apparently the trigger he'd needed to become one, so after one too many looks from Teddy - some patient, others not so much - he'd officially gotten himself banished from the apartment for the afternoon after too much worried lurking. Which is... not the greatest thing ever on a hot day like today, but ten minutes down the road he realizes that, yeah, he'd been a little ridiculous, either blowing off his responsibilities or dragging Teddy along for the ride. He's happy and eager to have Teddy here, but they'd lived separate lives at least half the time back home; no reason for that to not continue here as well.

It's just hard to let go after you've missed someone for that long.

Still, that's how he finds himself out and about for around five hours today, doing the following (in no particular order):

- a late lunch at Seventh Heaven
- searching around the library for comic books
- combat practice in the Battle Dome (with or without his trusty new teacher)

While at the library, a few sketches find their way into his journal, more or less like the following: this, this, and this. Some time afterwards, a scribbled message appears below.]

What are some good ways to deal with bad dreams?

[Once he's finished all his daily stuff, he'll be bringing groceries home around dinner time, in the hopes that he's allowed. Feel free to run into him at any time.]

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I believe that.

[After a pause, he lifts his head a bit to look down at him, one hand moving to idly stroke the nape of his neck.]

If you need a hand, I can always come over with you. [Although they'd probably make out more than get work done.]

Mm... up to you. I took the job, so I wouldn't want to drag you into it unless you wanted. I doubt he'd complain about the extra help. [Billy hums faintly, thinking for a moment, then drums his fingers pointedly on Teddy's collarbone.] Unless you're just there to distract me... then he would.

Hmm.

[There's a long pause as Teddy leans his head back against the bed again, as if to look at the ceiling in thought. Then he smiles again, chest fluttering with muffled laughter.]

Not even a little?

[Lying on someone's chest while they laugh is a very weird sensation. At his comment, though, Billy scoffs under his breath, lifting a brow at his boyfriend.]

When is it ever just a little with the two of us?

[... Yeah, that requires some thought.]

... When we first started dating? [He'd been the shyer one - not necessarily shy, really, just much more hesitant to open up so much to someone else at that point.]

[He gets a flick on the nose for that.]

It was rhetorical, T. Anyway, if you want to help me and Pepper babysit Iron Man, I won't be saying no. [He pauses, briefly, then adds,] It might help if you did, actually. If you got to know him.

[He knows Teddy's not about to punch Tony into the ground or anything, but... well, feelings tend to linger.]

[The flick makes him grin and move one hand away to rub at his nose, the other still staying on Billy's neck. What he says, however, makes him pause.

Yeah, maybe he should get to know him. He already had a better opinion of him, at least. He seemed like the guy before he seemed to go insane.

But he's right. Feelings linger. He can't help growing an inch and making his shoulders get a little broader when he sees Tony around, especially if Billy's with him. He can't help wondering, "What if it happens again?" What if he just - goes crazy, starts locking people with powers away just because of who and what they are, what if he... hurts Billy again?

So, after considering, he lightly drums his fingers against Billy's neck.]

Yeah, maybe it would help. I wouldn't mind giving it a try, for all of our sakes.

[Billy makes a faint, agreeable noise, shifting his head to rest it against Teddy's chest again, closing his eyes. He's not tired, it's just a really, really comfortable position, so he's determined to enjoy it.]

I really don't think he's faking it. He can be kind of a jerk, but he's not a bad person.

Edited 2012-07-30 10:10 (UTC)

From what I've seen of him, it doesn't look like he's faking it. I just -

[He cuts himself off and shuts his eyes, the fingers against Billy's neck curling into a very light fist. He just looks at Tony and is reminded of seeing Billy get shot down by tranquilizers before any of them could even do anything, how they were forced to leave him and Cloak behind, how he'd witnessed a hero die by the hands of a crazed clone that Tony himself made -

But most of all, he just sees Billy.

His hand is the only movement he makes, though, and his breathing doesn't even change. He's comfortable, too; he likes being this close to Billy, close in such an intimate way at that. Still...]

[Billy feels the way Teddy's fingers curl, and it makes him pause for a long moment, thinking carefully if how to handle this. He understands what Teddy is probably thinking of- he'd been there himself, after all, when he'd first arrived and met this version of Tony Stark. Who knows how long he'd have hidden his true identity if he hadn't been sent out on the draft? Maybe he wouldn't have revealed himself at all. Maybe Susan's arrival would have triggered some sort of domino effect. Or Teddy's. He wouldn't have been afraid if Teddy had been here.

What-ifs don't really matter now, though; it's the future he'd rather focus on. And if making Tony understand the effects of this possible future might actually prevent it... it's worth the attempt.

He angles himself a little, just enough to press a gentle kiss to Teddy's collarbone, one hand sliding down to rub soothingly up and down his side.]

Nothing's going to happen. Whether it's him or the Malnosso or anyone else they want to throw at us- we'll figure something out.

[He really can't help it - once he feels that kiss and the hand sliding against his side, that apprehensive look fades, and he just gives a little smile instead. He might be afraid, but he's less so with Billy here. It's why he didn't have any qualms with showing who he was; maybe it was because he wasn't afraid, maybe it was a subtle threat. But there he was, showing off his power, albeit carelessly. He's still in training and all.

The words, too, make his smile grow, and he moves his free hand to the back of Billy's head while he tilts his head down, enough to bump it gently against Billy's.]

I know. We always do.

[He lets his fingers card through his boyfriend's hair or a moment, before the topic from earlier works its way into his head. So he tilts his head, his hand moving around to stroke Billy's cheek.]

Speaking of figuring things out, I wanted to ask you something.

[If there's one thing he can give them credit for as a couple (besides the fact that they mesh so perfectly together most of the time), they always seem to be able to bounce back from whatever comes their way. They've faced Kang, drug dealers, Super Skrulls, villains galore, and apparently survived a super hero civil war relatively unscathed. With all of that behind them, what couldn't they handle? This is just yet another bump in the road, and a tiny bump at that.

Billy tilts his cheek just so, leaning into the touch even as his eyebrow quirks curiously at Teddy's topic shift.]

Something on your mind, T?

[Teddy leans his head back on the pillow again, though he keeps his hands where they are.]

Whatever's on your mind, B. Nightmares?

[....

Ah.

That.

He purses his lips, his gaze dropping back down again, and after a moment's thought he rolls off of Teddy and sits up on the bed, dangling his feet over the edge as he pokes around for his pants. As comfortable as he'd been, he desperately needs a distraction from his racing thoughts again.]

Sorry I didn't tell you.

[He'd been trying to keep quiet about it since Teddy arrived, and thankfully they're not screaming nightmares; even Teddy being a heavy sleeper wouldn't have saved him there. He's been hoping Teddy wouldn't notice, but there's no way to be subtle about a question like that on the journal.]

It's okay. I'm listening, if you want to tell me now.

[Teddy just watches Billy's back; better to give Billy his full attention rather than divide it by finding his own clothes. He at least doesn't sound upset. Why would he be? Sometimes there are things you don't want to talk about, after all.

But these are nightmares about three people that Teddy has some idea about. And considering what they learned during that mess of the Kree-Skrull war...]

[Billy is quiet for a long moment, drawing up his pants, though for now they're just draped ineffectively over his lap. Distractions are useful, but only temporary, unfortunately.

And this... well, if there's anyone he could tell about it, it's Teddy. So he takes a deep, quiet breath, and nods.]

You remember what Kl'rt and Vision said, right? About... the Scarlet Witch, and Mephisto, and... me and Tommy. I've been having these weird dreams since then.

[Right. He'd said something about how the Scarlet Witch had two children, and Mephisto took their souls away, only to have them go into two unborn children: Billy and Tommy. And since Magneto is the Scarlet Witch's father, it makes sense that Billy would dream of him, too.]

Weird? Like how? [Teddy reaches out to trace the small of Billy's back with his fingers, just to give him some kind of contact.]

[Billy glances sidelong at him, feeling the touch, then nods again.]

Like... I keep dreaming that we're a real family. Me, Tommy, and the Scarlet Witch. It started out kind of nice, actually. We were happy. But... then Mephisto started showing up. Lurking around in the background, or just appearing out of the blue. Sometimes he'd try to take us away from her. And sometimes she'd just hand us over, like- like he belonged. Like he was a part of the family.

["He has his father's eyes."

Was that true? If their souls had come from Mephisto, then... technically...

It's awful to even consider.]

[Teddy leans up slightly, supporting his upper body by resting his cheek on his free hand. He listens carefully with a little frown on his face; he can imagine it in his head, and it's... weird. Unsettling, especially considering what all they heard.]

Mephisto? Really? [Good god he hopes Billy's not related to that guy.]

Yeah. If what Kl'rt said about me and Tommy is true, then... wouldn't he be where we came from? So what does that even mean?

It'd suck if that's where you really came from. But... [He looks down at Billy's back as he traces circles into his back.] They're just dreams. And even if it's true, it doesn't change anything about you.

Mm... tell that to my brain, because it's not really listening. [With a quiet groan, he leans back, draping himself over Teddy's stomach and lifting both hands to cover his face. Uuuugh, why does he have to be such a headcase all the time? With all the serious bullshit that's been happening lately, it's a wonder he's still sane.]

[Teddy turns onto his back to accommodate this new position, and he feels a little grin quirking up. He can't help it; his boyfriend just looks kind of adorable like that.

The hand that was on Billy's back moves to play with his hair, sliding his fingers through it and twirling the strands.]

Billy's brain, stop that. You're freaking my boyfriend out.

[Billy trembles under his hand for a moment, and he shakes his head; for a moment it might seem like he's crying. But then a little snort escapes between his fingers, and he finally relents, hands stretching out on either side of him - one on Teddy's chest, the other on his legs - revealing the smile now crossing stubborn lips.]

I don't think that would normally work...

[Teddy had lifted his hand away for a second as a result, only to smile again, with relief this time, and lower his hand to his hair again. Here he thought he might have said the completely wrong thing, but... it's good to see him smiling after what they talked about.]

Why not? Your brain loves me so much and all, it ought to listen to me, too.

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