Whoa, military? Wasn't expecting that. Does that mean you're from Earth, or is th-

[Scrrrrrrape goes his sneaker on the bark, and down he goes about ten or fifteen feet before catching himself on one of the lower branches, clinging to the bottom of it with his arms and legs like the world's silliest monkey.

Never. Climbing. Trees. Again.]

....Um. I think it goes without saying that I'm a lot more graceful on the ground.