selfhelp | [Voice (Locked from Tommy) / Action]

[Oh god, he is really, really hoping that he got the lock right. This will all be kinds of pointless if he did.]

Hey, Lucetians. Or whatever we call ourselves? ...Anyway. This is going to come across as super self-serving, but my birthday's on the 9th. Usually I'd be fine with it breezing by and nobody knowing, but it's also my twin's birthday. Tommy. Local speedster. Kind of a brat, but the good kind, I guess.

I won't go into the gritty details, but I... don't think he got many parties for him, growing up. I'd like to change that. [A pause, and then, quietly-] ...I want to.

[....]

So, we're going to have a party. A surprise party, if that's possible. (Please don't tell him.) This Sunday, February 9th, at the rec center, from 6PM until people are either too drunk or too tired to party anymore. Keyword there is drunk- we'll need to raid the liquor supply. He'd be so mad if I threw a big party and there was no booze.

Basically, this is an open invitation to make it as big and loud as a guy like him would enjoy. We can take care of the decorations and music and food, don't worry about gifts... don't sweat the details, basically. Just show up and have fun, if it sounds like your kind of thing.

This is assuming that the dreaded V-Day doesn't ruin everything, of course. Uh. I'm crossing my fingers. Did I just jinx it? I better not have jinxed it. Sorry in advance.

[After the announcement - and dealing with any relevant responses - Billy's going shopping for supplies for said party. He needs a sound system! He needs catering! He needs decorations! ...He needs help. He doesn't know how to throw a big party at all.]

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I still think Lucetizens has a nice ring to it...

[Kari, stop trying to make Lucetizens happen.]

But hey, I didn't know you had a twin! Are you guys identical or the boring kind?

Maybe we could hold a vote.

[That's a horrible idea.]

We're... mostly identical? I mean, if we were in grey-scale you'd hardly be able to tell us apart. But our hair and eye colours are different.

... I didn't now when your birthday was. [She suddenly feels kind of stupid for not knowing this.]

... Can we bring gifts if we want?

[Who's bundled up and poking through the selection of pastas and rice in the store? This elf. This bundled up and slightly dazed elf. Sleep hasn't come easy but it's not so much that he doesn't crack a smile and wave to Billy when he sees the young man.]

What brings you out today, aside from a desire for sustenance?

Grey-scale, huh? So basically you'll be practically identical when you're both old men? I mean, assuming you don't go bald before then.

It's kind of hard to bring up in casual conversation, isn't it? "Hi, I'm Billy, let's be friends so you can get me presents on this date, and this date..."

[It would probably be creepy if he mentioned he knew her birthday, and the birthdays of most of the Avengers, besides.]

But yeah, you can bring stuff if you want. Just don't feel obligated or anything.

[Oh god, that's a familiar face. Billy returns the wave.]

Wow, hey! I'd heard you were back, but I hadn't actually seen you around yet.

[He's so caught off guard that it takes him a second to get back on track and mentally translate his question into normal words.]

Oh- uh. I'm kind of hoping to commission as many finger sandwiches that can be made in four days.

[Zevran shrugs, motioning to his coat.]

I tend to keep indoors during the winter. Elves are not meant for colder weather.

[A beat.]

...Finger sandwiches? For what purpose?

[Briefly thinking back to Pietro, and Magneto, at their ages, with their full heads of majestic flowing locks...]

...Yeah, I don't think there's much of a chance of that happening.

A party, actually. This Sunday. You interested?

If there will be wine, women and song? Of course. Do you require any assistance with the preparations? I've spent quiet a bit of time preparing for feasts and galas in Antiva. [usually as a cover for killing someone, but, best to let that go unmentioned.]

[Majestic flowing locks.....]

Now, now, don't say that! You might just jinx yourself.

... No obligation. I sort of... Missed out on Hanukkah. This, though... A specific day. ... And time, even.

... Tommy I have ideas for. You... are going to be harder to shop for, I think.

[What is this fabulous gift of help that has dropped into his lap? Poor Zev, you don't know what you've offered here.]

Oh god, yes. I mean, I'll take whatever help I can get, but what I need most right now is advice. I have no idea how to run a good party.

[....

Why is she always a brat? Seriously, what did he ever do to her.]

I'm sure that would worry me if I believed in that kind of thing.

Hah, really? Well, don't stress yourself about it, seriously. I know gifts are a huge pain in this place, with everything being free anyway.

[Well, she is in a bad mood today. Though it's much easier casually taking it out on her acquaintances than dealing with things like a normal person.]

Really? Because you're the one who apologized for jinxing the whole village about Valentine's Day a second ago. Who knows, maybe this year could have been the one where they finally leave us alone?

You need a large space that's decorated with opulence or comfort in mind depending upon the nature of the gathering, a large selection of beverages from wine to ale to mead to teas, juices, and coffees, as you requested sandwiches I assume you wish for people to be able to serve themselves rather than having a banquet proper, yes? So a long table to hold all of the food, a menu, Musicians, space enough for dancing, lighting for when the sun does set and cushions and washcloths enough for the orgy.

... I managed for Teddy, I should be able to manage for you two. [She thinks it would be downright rude not to get gifts for family. She doesn't have much to offer in the ways of social graces, so she'll show affection in any way she knows how. ]

[Okay, okay, lots of good advice there, long tables and music and he's in the middle of pulling out his journal to take notes when- HOLD THE GODDAMN PHONE]

Wh- oh god- we are not having an orgy!!

[Someone needs to punch normal into you gurl.]

No, no, I have a feeling that this year'll be the worst one yet. I'm sure you'll find the biggest, hairiest man to be your true love.

Mm?

[He's lost for a moment, thinking back over other feasts he's prepared.]

Ah- right. Forgive me, I was thinking of a typical Antivan celebration. It is too early yet for a fertility festival, yes?

[He may or may not be pulling Billy's leg. Didn't you miss this?]

[Hard to be normal when you look like Hoshikyo.]

...that's not funny.

I have complete faith in you.

[She's a cool person, and they are pretty easy to shop for, or at least Billy thinks so. She'll manage.]

And if you get stuck, and you really feel like you need a gift? Teddy can probably give you some advice.

In other words, it's only funny when the target isn't you.

[How the tables turn.]

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