selfhelp | [Voice/Action]

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[Okay, so. Post-draft, he's given himself a few days of seclusion and bed-rest (apparently being infected with a zombie virus is exhausting), and even Billy can freely admit to himself that he's been pretty depressed lately, a fact for which he feels no shame considering that depression was well and truly earned. One can only spend so much time fretting, moping, and dwelling on one's own misery for so long, however, and today? He's decided that enough is enough. Billy will be going out today, limping around the village and visiting the people who were on the draft whose fate he's still uncertain of. The ones he can't find or has no reason to actually visit, he'll check with a light location spell, and he'll spend a few hours at Seventh Heaven people-watching out the window while he doodles in a book that Teddy had given him containing a series of patterns (much like this) that resemble inkblogs, and bit by bit Billy's turning them into something like this instead. It's been a tiring week, though, so you could always catch him napping on the table, instead.

At some point he'll attempt to find Peter, and when both a location spell and a teleport fails, he tries to teleport to the apartment he'd been staying at instead, finding it almost completely emptied. All he manages to dig up is a small cartridge that, after a moment of scrutiny, he identifies as a web fluid cartridge. His fanboyish glee at the discovery is tempered by the fact that the empty apartment means one more piece of bad news.

After his visits and window-watching is done, he'll return home to make the announcement, along with one more message-]

Hey out there... just wanted to let his friends know that Peter Parker went home. So... sorry. Yeah.

[Locked to Loki]

...We still on for tomorrow, or do you want to take a break? Because... you know. [Draft. Awfulness all around. He wouldn't blame Loki if he wanted to take a week off.

Later on in the evening he'll be over at Ben's barbeque, if anyone wants to bother him while he's there.]

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[Clichés become clichés for a reason, and Pepper briefly meets Tony’s eyes.  Even without the draft they’d all just endured, the arrival of one particular individual had been a weight all its own:  Loki.  Looking back on it all, it’s hard for her to say that only two months have gone by.  There are other people she can think of too, maybe not as powerful, but who could be as devastating to their lives all the same.

What Billy says next isn’t an unfamiliar thought, although it’s one Pepper hasn’t spoken.  She’s felt much the same since they got back, but it’s hard not to see that emotion as a defeat somehow.  When Tony and Jane both are going to work so hard on a way to escape, when people are already being tortured for it—isn’t it wrong to think of the place they’re trying to flee from as home?]

I didn’t either.  [Pepper looks at the ground when she says it, quietly.  Like a confession.]

Well... you know...

[There are arguments that run quietly through Teddy's head. He doesn't know how to properly do CPR, and even if he did, there'd be so many other things that could go wrong, like oh, did he mention he had super strength and it looks like CPR uses a lot of force? And just the wrong amount could lead to him making the situation worse rather than better? And what if his emotions get in the way? If it's Billy, what if he panics? There's so many things that could go wrong with his hands against someone's ribs like that.

But the thoughts soon putter out and drop completely as he stares down at Billy, feels that kiss against his hand. And... no matter how much he feels he can argue against it, he really can't think of a time, save for when he was a child and didn't know about his powers, that he actually hurt someone he wasn't fighting off. He'd always held it back; at first just to fit in and seem normal and not hurt again, and then to protect people and make them feel comfortable. It's become a natural thing now, not quite a conscious effort anymore.

So, any argument he has is forgotten by now, and he averts his eyes to look at Billy's hair instead, one clawed thumb gently stroking the back of his boyfriend's hand. Yes, he's aware of that blush across his face, and yes, he's aware that he's not even trying to shift it away. That was a very good thing for him to hear.]

I guess I could try learning it.

[That was the idea. Clearly he must try harder.]

I would very much like to meet the man benefiting from our lessons.

[Billy's response to that is a light laugh, shifting their joined hands to rest on his chest instead. With Teddy's hand shifted the way it is, it's too heavy to hold up for long, though he doesn't mind whether he keeps it that way now- he's made his point.]

Teddy, it's really simple. Learn it if you want to, not because you should. Or don't learn it because you don't want to, not because you think you can't. You're allowed to do that, remember? Do what you want? I won't gripe about you infringing on my territory, honest.

[Quite the opposite, actually. Teddy's spent far too much time in his life doing things that other people wanted him to do, being what they wanted him to be, and he could very easily have lost himself in the process. And how much of a tragedy would that have been, when Teddy, the real Teddy, is such an unbelievably wonderful, kind, and generous person?

Why would anyone ever want him to be someone else?]

[Eyebrows up.]

Pretty sure you've got the wrong gal. Leastways goin' by the journal, it's this guy who looks kinda like a fish.

He helped make the cure, yeah. I owe him one, too.

[He has a lot of people to thank- he's well aware of that fact.]

But you came to get me, even knowing I'd changed. I could've died if it wasn't for you- and worse, I could've killed Teddy. It's because of you that we both made it back safe.

Do what I want, huh...

[It's still something of a foreign concept. Just a year ago he was hanging out with groups, his hair, eyes, height and body shape completely different, even his personality somewhat different, just to pander to what other people wanted, just to be liked. And now here he is, being himself, feeling completely comfortable in his own skin.

He smiles a little, musing, while his arm slowly shifts back to human form and that blush on his face fades away.]

And now I guess we're playing memory games, because do you remember when I fell? After Iron Man shot me out of the sky?

Ha, how could I forget that? I was so mad at him, I was ready to shoot him right out of the sky.

[He looks so affronted that it might as well have been him who'd been shot out of the sky. Since the war began he hasn't needed any particular excuse to be angry with their world's Tony Stark, but attacking Teddy is the best reason in his list.]

[Pfft, he can't help feeling a little touched by Billy's anger. So he grins as he starts to stroke his hair again, as if to soothe him.]

Down, boy. [But now to talk about what Teddy wanted to say.] I didn't have any way to save myself back then, so all I could do was fall and make a crater in the ground. Good thing it isn't there anymore. Anyway... I was useless for a little while, and that's why I wanted to learn to fly. So that wouldn't happen again, so that I could be better at what I do, and help you guys more.

It's the same thing with this. I want to learn how to use this stuff [He glances at the book, seeing how his hands are either full or busy.] because I don't want to be stuck in the middle of a battlefield and not know what to do if someone I care about is hurt, or even me. I don't want to be a liability because I don't know how to stop something from bleeding. I want to help people.

[His smile widens a little.] That's why I wanted to get into the hero business in the first place. Isn't this the same thing? I just don't get to punch things with it.

[Teddy's words - on top of the hair-stroking - are enough to both mollify and sooth Billy, his expression relaxing enough to look content once more.]

Sounds like you've got the right idea. And you decided for yourself, so you get bonus points for that.

[He'd never thought he would be so proud of something so simple as thinking for yourself - the one thing he's never really had a problem with - but knowing what he knows about the difficulties Teddy experienced not that long ago, even the smallest victories are something to celebrate.]

I can teach you what little I know, but if you want to get really good at it, you should try to get lessons from the clinic. Experienced doctors can give you better advice than someone who didn't take anything more advanced than a basic first aid course.

Basic first aid is about all I can understand right now, so...

[Teddy's smile turns into a grin, and he leans down while he shifts his hair, turning it into a braided bun on either side of his head, and he gives his best puppy eyes while still grinning and even chuckling while he speaks.]

Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.

[...ff. Fffff. Pffffffft. Billy tries his best to fight the laugh, but it fights right back, and the image before him is so ridiculous that after a moment of somewhat breathless struggle he finally clenches his eyes shut and lets it go, hands lifting to press against his face in an attempt to muffle it.]

Oh mmf- Teddy, you are- oh my god, you're the biggest dork. If Luke Skywalker ever caught you doing that-

[PFFFFFFT.]

[Rogue shook her head again.]

I told you - that's what we do.

[X-Men come for their own.

She's just sorry that it hadn't been fast enough.]

[Tony meets Pepper's glance, and he knows she is thinking the same thing as him. He always knew dangerous individuals from their world showing up could be a possibility. But it hadn't been a reality until Loki showed up. Who could be next?

Then he watches her look down after her quiet admission, and he can't help but feel utterly conflicted at that notion: home. This wasn't home. Far from it. But it had felt like it since he was able to bring Pepper back here, somewhere safe where she could recover comfortably.]

Funny how perspectives change like that.

[That grin only turns more powerful as Billy makes Teddy laugh, because yes, Teddy did just make Billy burst into laughter, and he's always ridiculously proud of that when it happens. One hand, now free, presses against his forehead while he leans his head back against the couch and lets his hair turn back to normal, and wow he can't believe he just did that. But it was worth it.]

Wh-What - [He breathes out with a glance down at Billy - ] You don't think he'd find it attractive?

[YOU KNOW HE SPENT TWO MOVIES MOONING OVER HER, KAPLAN. ESPECIALLY THAT PART.]

[Crikey, does he need help? Oh wait, it's Billy. That might end badly.]

Well- I don't know that much more, honestly. But as far as I know everyone's gotten inoculated, and even if they haven't, there's a cure in case it comes back. I don't know about where it came from, but the people who weren't infected were looking for one guy from another enclosure who apparently got it first. Or was the carrier, or... I don't know. Really, the details are kind of unclear. You'd be better off talking to one of the doctors who made the cure.

[He'd have to be blind to miss that exchange, and with it comes an intense feeling that he's missed something very important here. He glances from one to the other, then back again, brows furrowing.

Maybe he shouldn't stay too long; it's sort of like he's invading whatever's changed here.]

Um... right. I'm glad you guys are okay, though. [He pauses, then adds warily,] You are, right? Okay?

[And he means more than just physically; something's definitely weird. Or at least different.]

Well, we can always try.

["There is no try," says the fanboy part of his brain, and he tells it to kindly shut up.]

Anyway, I'm just glad to be back in the village. Though that's kind of weird to say...

I don't know, how would you feel if I asked you to change into Tommy for a while?

[Twincest and narcissism in one make-out session? No thank you, bf. Though at least Luke and Leia aren't identical.]

...Yeah, about that. I hope you're aware of how much I completely spazzed when you said that. I'm pretty sure Teddy thought I was getting zombified right then and there.

[He pauses, and then adds, somewhat cautiously-]

Seriously, though?

[Teddy's laughter does die down at that question, even though he's still grinning and letting an occasional chuckle escape. Come on, it's funny.]

Ha... I think I'd have to throw my hands up and say your kink is not my kink.

[oh goddammit, yep]

O-oh god, please don't tell me you'd ask for a report or something.

[Billy pauses at the voice as he passes the kitchen entrance, turning and leaning on the frame of the doorway. The sweet scent of coffee combined with the invitation is enough to make him smile.]

I will never, ever turn down caffeine. Thanks.

[jkfhsjdf]

I-it's not a kink, it's an example! An argumentative one at that!

Obviously caffeine addiction is the sign of a true hero.

[He starts to refill the coffee maker and pulls out another mug.]

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