[For a while, Billy just cries. It's the first time he's let himself really cry since the draft; he'd been telling himself over and over that he'd be fine if he just sucked it up and tried to forget, if he kept reaching for it, peace of mind would eventually meet him in the middle somewhere. So far it hasn't worked, and it's never taken Billy Kaplan long to crack under the pressure.
He can feel Teddy shifting against him, getting bigger, and although he can't see the colour through his tears, he can tell by the size that his boyfriend changed to Hulkling in the middle of that painful silence, broken only by his own sobs. He feels a rush of gratefulness, his grip tightening, even as he trembles and chokes out another broken sound. He tries to swallow it, tries to let that strong, soothing presence ease the horror of those memories, if only to give Teddy some sign that he is helping, even just a little. It takes some time, but he finally manages to settle enough to speak again. It's quiet, somewhat hoarse, but his grip is still strong.]
I'm sorry... god, I'm so sorry...
[Sorry for being a mess, sorry for being unable to stop it, sorry for sharing that horrible memory? He's not even sure. He's felt the urge to apologize incessantly since he saw Thor die and admitting what happened hasn't done a thing for such inclinations.]
[Action, May 30th] I will accept this neutral ground
He can feel Teddy shifting against him, getting bigger, and although he can't see the colour through his tears, he can tell by the size that his boyfriend changed to Hulkling in the middle of that painful silence, broken only by his own sobs. He feels a rush of gratefulness, his grip tightening, even as he trembles and chokes out another broken sound. He tries to swallow it, tries to let that strong, soothing presence ease the horror of those memories, if only to give Teddy some sign that he is helping, even just a little. It takes some time, but he finally manages to settle enough to speak again. It's quiet, somewhat hoarse, but his grip is still strong.]
I'm sorry... god, I'm so sorry...
[Sorry for being a mess, sorry for being unable to stop it, sorry for sharing that horrible memory? He's not even sure. He's felt the urge to apologize incessantly since he saw Thor die and admitting what happened hasn't done a thing for such inclinations.]