[Billy winces, knowing the words even as Teddy trails off. He hesitates again, longer this time, until finally he nods, his expression pained and reluctant. Teddy knowing had made it easier to leave it all unsaid, but now that he has to talk about it... he's not sure. Maybe it makes it harder to explain when Teddy already knows. It's just an excuse to skim over it.
He ducks his head, hands tightening again. For anyone else, it might've been painful, but Teddy's so strong it doesn't even occur to him how tightly he's holding on.]
We didn't even see it. I was inside when it went off, there was this- like a light in the corner of my eye, but I couldn't even turn to look. There wasn't time. One minute we were all there, fighting, and the next... gone. All of us. In a second, Teddy...
[His voice trails off to a whisper. Remembering it now is harder than it had been at the time; there'd been the battle to keep them all distracted, the looming threat of a repeat of that and never returning. Everyone had been too busy to contemplate their deaths. But now...]
Remember... before Nate left, when we fought Kang... when we disappeared? It was like that, at first. Just... not existing. And coming back was the same, too- I felt dizzy, confused, out of place. I think I threw up. I remember feeling sick. But it was... fine, mostly. I mean, it was weird, but it didn't freak me out that much.
[He worries his bottom lip with his teeth, gaze darting off to the side now. With the floodgates open he can't seem to stop the truth from spilling out, much as he'd like to.]
Between that... though... dying and waking up, I... I remember. I forgot, for a while, or I- I pushed it out, I don't know... but I keep seeing it. At first it was just dreams, but now it's like it's... spreading? I don't know. I don't know anything. Just this. It's everywhere. I wake up from the dreams and I'm cold, I try to shower and I'm drowning, I look at the sky and it's watching me, I touch my skin and it's peeling off of me, I try to eat and all I taste is rot, I...!
[He cuts himself off with a muffled cry, eyes squeezing shut as if speaking the words aloud is bringing it all back to haunt him. The worst - or part of the worst, perhaps - is not understanding any of it. It's supposed to start out bad and get better. It isn't supposed to get worse...]
[Action, May 30th]
He ducks his head, hands tightening again. For anyone else, it might've been painful, but Teddy's so strong it doesn't even occur to him how tightly he's holding on.]
We didn't even see it. I was inside when it went off, there was this- like a light in the corner of my eye, but I couldn't even turn to look. There wasn't time. One minute we were all there, fighting, and the next... gone. All of us. In a second, Teddy...
[His voice trails off to a whisper. Remembering it now is harder than it had been at the time; there'd been the battle to keep them all distracted, the looming threat of a repeat of that and never returning. Everyone had been too busy to contemplate their deaths. But now...]
Remember... before Nate left, when we fought Kang... when we disappeared? It was like that, at first. Just... not existing. And coming back was the same, too- I felt dizzy, confused, out of place. I think I threw up. I remember feeling sick. But it was... fine, mostly. I mean, it was weird, but it didn't freak me out that much.
[He worries his bottom lip with his teeth, gaze darting off to the side now. With the floodgates open he can't seem to stop the truth from spilling out, much as he'd like to.]
Between that... though... dying and waking up, I... I remember. I forgot, for a while, or I- I pushed it out, I don't know... but I keep seeing it. At first it was just dreams, but now it's like it's... spreading? I don't know. I don't know anything. Just this. It's everywhere. I wake up from the dreams and I'm cold, I try to shower and I'm drowning, I look at the sky and it's watching me, I touch my skin and it's peeling off of me, I try to eat and all I taste is rot, I...!
[He cuts himself off with a muffled cry, eyes squeezing shut as if speaking the words aloud is bringing it all back to haunt him. The worst - or part of the worst, perhaps - is not understanding any of it. It's supposed to start out bad and get better. It isn't supposed to get worse...]